You Know You're in a Blue State When...

when blacks can sit at the lunch counter?

 

When they bring me something hot in a cup when I order "tea"?

When the guy who is driving your cab has the atomic symbol for Boron as a letter in his name?

When you see "Jenny from the block" on the actual block?

Where you hear music created by instruments you had no idea were even invented yet?

When your choice of beverage is Mountain Dew or Crab Juice? (Thank you, Homer Simpson)

Just throwing it out there, seeing what sticks....

 

That's in every part of the world. If you want it cold you ask for "Iced tea"

Racist much?

 

No, just a plagiarist.

http://www.comedystars.com/Jokes/TaxiCabs.shtml

 

zing!

 

No, just a humble "I love you man, but not in a homoerotic way" Jesus man who marches resolutely with Dubya on his quest for Truth, Christendom, and Weapons of Mass Destruction.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Northcal19 again.

​

 

Taken care of.

 

You mean the letter "B"? What crazy language uses that?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

..your state actually has stuff the terrorists want to blow up, yet the people don't tend to store a twelve-pack of Homeland Defense duct tape in the "anti-radiation chamber" (ie: broom closet).

 

Someone rep this man, please? I need to spread some Reputation around first.

 

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to argentine soccer fan again.

 

The Dixie Chicks aren't on the most wanted list.

You aren't shot for working on Sundays.

Children can read Catcher in the Rye without fear of paddling

The locals accept reality.

 

C'mon! Sooner Stadium isn't high on the list?

 

...you don't own a gun, let along many guns to necessitate an entire rack.

 

You are not ashamed of your college degree.





Full disclosure: I got my collge degree in a red state

 

You know you are in a blue state when:

-- "I don't like his wife" was not one of the determining factors in your vote on Tuesday. It likely wasn't even in the top 100.

-- Having a post-graduate degree is not sufficient for your local sheriff to add you to a terrorist watch list.

-- Your other car is public transportation.

-- You think the initials "SEC" stand for "Securities and Exchange Commission".

-- You've used the term "flyover country" not as a joke or a slur, but as a matter of fact. You probably used it while flying over it.

-- You signed the "Rehire Bob Edwards" online petition earlier this year.

-- You've attended a "commitment ceremony" for either a gay or straight couple.

-- You got a robocall last week that began, "Hello, this is Reverend Jesse Jackson..."

-- The movie phrase "now playing in select cities" means it's playing down the street from you.

-- Your governor announces he's gay, and his approval rating rises.

-- You're secretly hoping that the evangelicals are right and that the Rapture really does happen, since it means we'll finally be rid of them all and have the place to ourselves.

 

. . . the obituaries are chock full of people who died because their neighbors gay married.

. . . Eminem thinks the mayors in your area have rough tongues.

. . . "dinner and theater" means Charlie Trotter's and Chekov, not TGI Friday's and "Legends: Where Only the Best Celebrities Are Impersonated!"

. . . you come across of parade of people downtown protesting the poor treatment of tofurkeys.

. . . the museums have exhibitions other than "100 years of John Deere."

. . . you occasionally see a thin person.

 

"You might be a Redneck" jokes don't strike a nerve.

Late night shenanigans involving beer and shotguns get your arrested.

Cowboy hats are worn pretty much on Halloween only...except for that naked-guitar playing guy in NYC.

Your belt buckle isn't bigger than your head.

You can actually pronounce the word "ignorant" correctly.

Larry the Cable Guy is on your TV, not actually installing your cable.

You don't think that the Confederate Flag is just a symbol of states rights.

You never voted for a senator who actually owned slaves.

Nobody ever gets "uppity."

Making fun of NASCAR doesn't get you beat up.

You've never been to a shotgun wedding.

Your neighborhood isn't painted with pastels.

The hurricane/tornado gods don't hate you.

You don't think Dale Earnhart is sitting at the right hand of God.

To you, The 'Dukes of Hazard' was a comedy, not a drama.

You get it.

 

I think it's well below the Moonlight Bunny Ranch.

 

Damn! I was stone cold busted. Kudos to all the Dennis Miller fans who picked up on that.