Take my patented quiz to find out what Chelsea fan you are..... 1.) What was your first game? A) Luton Town away in the cup, we beat the s***t out of those Hatters lads and torched the train too! B) Tottenham Hotspur C) Fulham and Jimmy Floyd scored for us! D) The team we played last week 2.) What was the pinnacle of being a Chelsea fan? A) Winning the Cup in 1970 and the beating the crap out of Leeds on and off the field. B) Winning the Cup Winners Cup against Stuttgart in 1998 C) Getting to the Champions League semis after beating Arsenal at Highbury. D) Ack, I think thakht maybee ven day vin laksht veek against that their team with the guy innit? Ya? 3.) Who are Chelsea’s biggest rivals? A) Millwall B) Arsenal C) All of the league, I don’t really care – its our year man! D) Dinamo Verplanski 4.) What do you sing at the games? A) Never surrender! Or maybe Carefree B) Ten men went to mow C) Chel-sea, Chel-sea! D) Vat?! I khnow ohnkly three vords in ingleski, erh how du say? 5.) What do you wear at the games? A.) Burberry hat, stonewell jeans, River Island gear. B.) My blue jumper and Chelsea scarf. C.) I’s wear my tracky bottoms, hood top and new club shop shirt underneath, respect! D.) Mink hat and lots of furs, preferably a ushanka. 6.) Who is Kerry Dixon? A) Absolute legend mate, could score with his eyes closed with both hands tied behind his back. B) A person who sold you a spiffy new hi-fi down the market last week. C) Dixon? Did he used to play for Arsenal or summit? D) What? Who are you talking to? I keel you for saying these things! Where is da bathroom? 7.) What is the Shed? A) A place of heroes where thousands of young soldiers spout their well-mannered opinions on the game and exchanging pleasantries with people who disagree with them. Usually in the form of a knuckle sandwich or a beating with a cosh. B) A place where I put me tools. C) Oh, I know its that thingy that all them there hollifans use to sing about the Barmy blues and that. D) Vat? Khwo are you? Vat ist dis shed thakht I likhe so mush. I know I buy dis shkhed from jou. Khow much? 8.) Who are the Headhunters? A) The total hardcore rulers of the footballing world. Bow down to our glory – anybody who disagrees gets a meeting with Mr Stanley Knife. B) Some people who recruit another people for business. C) Oh that’s them fans who ought to be locked up, but they put them in the stadium as to warn us what not do. Oh yes. D) Khow dare jou, offer me a zhob? I own all of dis. 9.) Where were YOU in 1988? A) Beating the s***t out of the second division fans in a rotting Stamford Bridge – f*****g wannabees! Ave it! B) Erm, I was studying my law degree at Oxford. C) I was in school D) Behind the Berlin wall 10.) What exactly is celery used for? A) As a useful sex toy B) For soup isn’t it C) Celery? It just a fruit innit? D) To stick up the Bolshevik’s nose. Ack, khow I hate dem bastards! ------------------------------------------------------------ Mostly A’s Well you are a hardcore fan, and I mean hardcore. No doubt you are a right hooligan and know all the words to Rule Britannia. You like a good punch up and remember the good ol’ days of Chelsea football. Seek guidance or maybe a new attitude to curb you racist and right wing behaviour in this more politically correct, incorrect Britain. Mostly B’s Well you are middle class fan, you support the team but probably since they are doing so well. You don’t remember Ken Bates and electric fences, rioting on the pitch and standing in the rain with about 8,000 people in a complete dump of a stadium. Your favourite player of all time is probably Gianfranco Zola and you look bemused when people sing about things from before 1996. Read some history on the club and fully know what your are letting yourself in for. That said, there is nothing wrong about your decent knowledge about the club, keep trying. Mostly C’s You are a young fan, who knows nothing about the team whatsoever. You support the team because they are more popular than ever. You think that you know loads about the club but you have been to about two games and reckon you’re a fan. For you, the idea of being a Chelsea fan is a fad and are waiting for Manchester United to start to win things again. My course of action, go and discover what team excites you, not your shallow friends. Mostly D’s You are either A) Roman Abramovich, B) An Eastern European brought by the lure of Mr Abramovich or C) you are totally lost. My plan would be to get a cab and head for an AIRPORT to take you home. I hope your visit to London was a nice one. [btw: this is meant as a joke, so please don't take it the wrong way. I guess a lot of the c's will.....]
3.) Who are Chelsea’s biggest rivals? A) Millwall 6.) Who is Kerry Dixon? C) Dixon? Did he used to play for Arsenal or summit? 7.) What is the Shed? B) A place where I put me tools. 8.) Who are the Headhunters? X) A bunch of really friendly chelsea fans, with rather unique tatoo's. Didnt some under cover reporter have to get one done and then pass out in the chair lol. 9.) Where were YOU in 1988? C) I was in junior school. In North London. Surrounded by Liverpool fans. Happy days. 10.) What exactly is celery used for? A) As a useful sex toy Holly ******** im a closet blue!
Well I always thought that Spurs were our traditional rivals, certainly from my days in the Shed. Although I think that Leeds run them a close second. I don't recall it ever being Arsenal or Millwall.
I guess that right there is the slight difference in age between you and i DR Intox, as i would have said our traditional (local) rivals were QPR. Those that were older than me by a few years always said it was the yids.
When I started following Chelsea QPR were in the old 3rd division, way off the RADAR to be considered rivals. I guess they came to prominance in the Mid 70's when they had a decent team.
Aye, that was when i was just starting too go to games on any sort of a regular basis. Thankfully, they will always be remembered for that silly fake grass though, instead of any actual achievement on it