What is the worst movie ever?

Discussion in 'Movies, TV and Music' started by jjayg, Jul 26, 2002.

  1. otterulz

    otterulz Member

    Arsenal, Atleti
    South Korea
    Jun 20, 2002
    LIC, NY
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The old dude who plays Alfred seems to get the job done in each and every single Bat-Man movie. He portrays the old English butler role very well.
     
  2. DoctorJones24

    DoctorJones24 Member

    Aug 26, 1999
    OH
    Check out "The Straight Story" before you write him off entirely. I've never been a Lynch fan, but this one blew me away.

    As for the 4th Batman movie, I can't believe so many people somehow missed EVERY critic and EVERY "friend who'd seen it already and must therefore have hated it," telling them to stay away. Don't you folks have trusty "crap filters?" With ticket/popcorn prices going through the roofs, these are a must. My brother, as a comics collector, saw it early in its run, and declared, "It's now one of my goals in life to stop as many people from seeing that movie as I can." That was enough for me.
     
  3. oman

    oman Member

    Jan 7, 2000
    South of Frisconsin
    I snoozed in The Straight Story.

    Lynch's Blue Velvet was one of the greatest surprises in movie's I'd ever seen. I can't believe anyone couldn't have been giddy while watching this the first time. Masterful use of color. Masterful juxtoposition of horror and comedy. And just too XXXXing weird.

    I'm also a big fan of the style of Dune, although I probably like it more just because Lynch was just the wrong guy to make a big studio picture.

    The first 10 or so episodes of Twin Peaks are simply as good as any TV ever. Ever.

    Sure, Eraserhead is somewhat "film schoolish", but Lynch has creepy down.

    As weird as Lynch's stuff is, he always has a scene or two that justifies the cost of admission. And that keeps him out of the "worst movies" category by far.
     
  4. topcow

    topcow New Member

    Nov 23, 2000
    New York
    Re: Re: What is the worst movie ever?


    What? why? I liked it.

    maybe you said it out of spite, like if I would to claim "Orgazmo" is the worst movie ever made.

    But I am not going to, the worst movie ever made is most likely made my Joel Shitmacher.
     
  5. obie

    obie New Member

    Nov 18, 1998
    NY, NY
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    New York Red Bulls
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    "Anything by Oliver Stone / Woody Allen / David Lynch" is such a tired form of trolling that it's not even worth defending anymore.
     
  6. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
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    Ghost:

    You're right. "Taste of Cherry" has no deep insight on suicide. We never know why the protagonist wants to kill himself, or what psychological stimuli has led him to believe this is the only decision left. We never even learn if the protagonist does kill himself. Kiarostami is not an oblique filmmaker, so I think the logical conclusion is that the film is not about suicide.

    I see it as a classical "man v. society" narrative. The protagonist wanders across an alienated landscape, discovering that his own personal moral code is at odds with those around him. The delicious twist is that he's trying to market it, offering a tailored sales pitch to each person he encounters.

    I'm glad you write about cinema.
     
  7. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
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    Tottenham Hotspur FC
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    Bolivia
    You call it "trolling." I call it "auteur theory." :D
     
  8. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
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    Bolivia
    That's why I love him. Most everybody else views a film through the prism of the studio publicist.

    I agree, though, that Rosenbaum shouldn't be read for his recommendations. He should be read for the critical tools he brings to the table in breaking down a film.

    Rosenbaum's been writing for over thirty years and is regarded in many circles around the world (especially in France) as the greatest film critic of his generation. I think it's harsh to label his body of work as an "experiment."
     
  9. Dr. Wankler

    Dr. Wankler Member+

    May 2, 2001
    The Electric City
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Glad to hear that you're reading Rosenbaum still. Not picking up the Chicago Reader every week, I've let him slide myself, though I think I'll start checking in again.

    I agree with your assessment, but to me, that's part of what makes his reviews worth reading: after you become familiar with Rosenbaum's taste/agenda, you can read his reviews and decide whether the film would be worth seeing given your own taste/agenda. There are certain films that he raves over, but I can tell that I wouldn't be happy dropping $8-10 bucks on a ticket, and there are things he doesn't like that won't bother me, so I'll consider giving it a look.

    Anyway, I thought of a bad movie, by the way, which utterly murdered two hours of my life in a way that leads me to still mourn their loss:

    Johnny Mnemonic.

    Great script, decent cast, and perhaps the worst directing I've ever seen (with the possible exception of the first Ocean's Eleven). Artist Robert Longo should leave movies alone, and I believe he has.

    Hey, Ghost, do you have a link to your reviews or to the website?
     
  10. Northside Rovers

    Jan 28, 2000
    Austin TX
    Club:
    FC Dallas
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    United States
    You must be joking.
     
  11. eneste

    eneste Member

    Mar 24, 2000
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Johnny Mnemonic
     
  12. dearprudence

    dearprudence Member

    Nov 1, 2000
    Chi-town
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Hands down, the worst movie is the home-video that your friends make of their baby being born, and then force you to watch it.

    The last time I was given the "opportunity" to see my friends' baby being born, I told them that I wasn't watching any more birth movies unless I get to see the conception tape first.
     
  13. DoctorJones24

    DoctorJones24 Member

    Aug 26, 1999
    OH
    Gringo and Dr. Wankler, I think I "use" Rosenbaum the same way both of you do, and enjoy him greatly for what he is. The "next to useless" line was overstatement on my part because it seemed to me that Gringo was using Rosenbaum as the "final word" on film quality regarding that Iranian film.
     
  14. Dr. Wankler

    Dr. Wankler Member+

    May 2, 2001
    The Electric City
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Yeah, but if you catch it in the theaters, it actually has some redeeming qualities.

    Okay, sorry. But this reminds me of my high school sex-ed class. We had just finished up the unit on venereal diseases and had turned to child birth. There was this movie we had to watch. The opening scene of this black and white objet d'art consisted of a vagina. The camera lingered on said vagina for what seemed like minutes (imagine if Andy Warhol made a film called "Vagina" and you'd have some idea). It was, of course, embarrassing to our high school sensibilities, and everyone was trying really, really hard not to giggle.

    Suddenly, the water broke. Even though the film wasn't in 3D, everyone ducked. And screamed, much like the kids do in the occasional Simpsons episode where some atrocity occurs in the classroom. We then started laughing hysterically, much to the chagrin of the teacher who stopped the film and gave us grief for being immature, etc.

    Looking back, though, that particular film wasn't very good. But it was better than Johnny Mnemonic.
     
  15. dearprudence

    dearprudence Member

    Nov 1, 2000
    Chi-town
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    All well and good, Dr. Wankler - but when you know the mother and the baby, it's definitely weird-out time.
     
  16. Dr. Wankler

    Dr. Wankler Member+

    May 2, 2001
    The Electric City
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Okay. I see your point.
     
  17. Doctor Stamen

    Doctor Stamen New Member

    Nov 14, 2001
    In a bag with a cat.
    Lovely. It wasn't Jordan was it ?.

    On a slightly related note, my Dad's Godson was in the Jean-Claude Van Damme film double impact (the one where he's twins). Of course this merits a mention on this thread as it's a J-CVD film.
     
  18. Iceblink

    Iceblink Member

    Oct 11, 1999
    Chicago
    Club:
    Ipswich Town FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Truly awful movie - Gone Fishin' (w/ Joe Pesci and Danny Glover)


    The worst movies ever that I still like... unfortunately, they'd be difficult to find.

    1. Eat and Run - An 500 lb. human-like alien lands on earth. He's a cannibal with big sharp teeth. A girl picks him up and tells him that, if he's hungry, he should eat Italian. He then goes out and starts eating Italians. They play it like a hard-boiled detective, film noir movie sometimes. Stars Ron Silver. Funny... but awful.

    2. Ghosts that Still Walk - Cheesy horror B-movie. Scared me when I was in my early 20s though and watching it alone in the dark. It was on TV... and a couple times, I was relieved that the commercials came on. I now own the video... haven't watched it again in its entirety.

    3. Anguish - Good horror flick. Has Zelda Rubenstein in it (tiny lady from Poltergeist), so how good could it be? She has a small, annoying role. The twists make this movie worthwhile.
     
  19. Eric B

    Eric B Member

    Feb 21, 2000
    the LBC
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    Doc Stamen just reminded me; is Graham Norton the gayest man in all of Britain?
     
  20. Eric B

    Eric B Member

    Feb 21, 2000
    the LBC
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    Los Angeles Galaxy
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    United States
    Money Pit was truly dreadful, but the closest I've ever come to gouging my eyes out a rusty mellon-baller out of cinematic boredom was Purple Rain
     
  21. Parkhead_Faithful

    Parkhead_Faithful New Member

    Dec 19, 2001
    Glasgow,Scotland
    Depends if Elton, Boy George or Julian Clairy are in the country at the time of asking. :D
     
  22. kenntomasch

    kenntomasch Member+

    Sep 2, 1999
    Out West
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    FC Tampa Bay Rowdies
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    Ah, but the soundtrack was good, and don't forget Appolonia's breasts.
     
  23. Ghost

    Ghost Member+

    Sep 5, 2001
    Interesting points Gringo. I actually think the Rosenbaum review of the film is better than the film itself. It's a terrific review. And I agree with everyone, Rosenbaum is questionable as a an arbter of what film you want to take your date to, but he's very interesting as a student of film.
     
  24. BallStateMiddie

    BallStateMiddie New Member

    Mar 28, 2002
    Nashvegas
    Some of you people and your picks for worst movie ever amaze me. As for me and my house, the only movie I ever walked out of was "City Hall", which unfortunately had Pacino, Cusack, and even Martin Landeau and Danny Aiello supporting.
     
  25. nicodemus

    nicodemus Member+

    Sep 3, 2001
    Cidade Mágica
    Club:
    PAOK Saloniki
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    United States
    I walked out of "The Musketeer" that recent piece of trash that tried to add all the Crouching Tiger-esque martial arts...it was just silly. I felt sorry for the filmmaker.
     

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