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Discussion in 'Movies, TV and Music' started by jjayg, Jul 26, 2002.
Death to Smoochy
Almost anything by Ed Wood?
Santa With Muscles.
I have a few suggestions:
"Chocolat" the one with Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. What a sleeper that was. It was infuriating though because so many people told me how great it was. Well it wasn't great, it was terrible, and insufferably long. I try to finish every movie I start, and I finished this one, but it took me 5 days because it was so bad.
"Taste of Cherry" is an Iranian film that won big at Cannes a few years ago. Having seen some great Iranian films, I was excited to see this. It was, and I kid you not, two hours of a guy driving around a landfill outside of Tehran trying to find a vagrant that would bury him after he kills himself. Sometimes there would be five or six minute aerial shots of this guy driving his landcruiser. It would be completely silent except for the tires on the dirt. Some might call that deep, but it was boring beyond belief for a movie that could have had so much depth.
Ed Wood movies are so bad, they are almost good, especially when seen through the eyes of Mystery Science Theatre.
The reason I bash to two above so much is that they were hailed as "great cinema."
One of the five greatest Iranian films ever.
I would like to add to the worst list:
Anything by Oliver Stone
Eraserhead, directed by David" what do mean, you don't get it" Lynch.
What a bore.
That movie isn't a tenth of the movie that "Leila" was for instance. Please tell me what you found so redeeming about "Taste of Cherry."
Jonathon Rosenbaum, our best critic on Kiarostami, can explain it a lot better than I:
I liked Leila, too.
> Anything by Oliver Stone
The Untouchables was a pretty good popcorn action flic, and of course Natual Born Killers was just awesome.
The worst movie every was "Shock Treatment", the supposed sequal to the terrible "Rocky Horror Picture Show". It is used by Osama Bin Laden to show martyrs what their deaths will destroy. Its stink fills the room in which it is placed. It will rot the wood of the shelf it is placed apon. It emits an aura so evil it takes a team of Catholic priests to control it. It produces boredom so great one viewing will kill 10 French post-modern philosophers. Any VCR used to play it becomes corrupt. Any eye used to see it becomes blind. Any mind used to understand it becomes retarded. And the new actor that plays "Brad" is rather stiff.
Actually, the priests couldn't control it, but they did bribe it to keep quiet and not go to the police.
Do your friends work in Miramax's PR deparment?
No I made the mistake of listening to people that I wasn't really friends with (I'm not friends with the folks at Miramax either though ) Sometimes when people are just so emphatic about something, you figure its worth a shot. Needless to say, I don't pay attention to what those people say anymore.
I'm all about "new cinematic language" and all that good stuff, but that one just didn't do it for me. I love Tarkovsky and others he mentioned as ground breakers. Musically, I love John Cage, Iannis Xenakis, Tuur, Tan Dun and everyone else turning music upside down and I love visual artists that paint weird crap, so I certainly don't have an issue with stepping out and doing something new. I think I was so bored with the movie because it was almost awesome. I liked a lot of Rosenbaum had to say, I just don't think Kiarostami achieved it.
Anything by Woody Allen.
Also, any of those stupid teen movies.
Yeah. Platoon really sucked.
How about Highlander 2?
and any movie where weather is the main character.
C'mon folks, "Chocolat" can't hold a candle
to the sheer awfulness of:
'Manos the Hands of Fate'
'Santa Claus vs. the Martians'
Many Arch Hall, Jr. Movies.
Many Hal Needham flicks.
Ed Wood Jr.
Moving with Richard Pryor
Waking Life by Richard Linklatter. I'm a fan of his films, however, this one was just unwatchable. Terrible film, so boring.
Battlefield Earth- someone else mentioned this as well. I loved the book, but stopped watching this film 20 minutes into it.
While most campy monster films are bad, at least they're watchable. Eight Legged Freaks falls into that bad but enjoyable. I don't find those films awful, because they are supposed to be.
All Bat-Man's except for the first.
Stigmata was pretty terrible.
Star Wars: Episode 1
The Thin Red Line
And I'm sure there are a lot more I can think of.
Titanic was great if you didn't pay attention to what anybody was saying.
Other worst movies:
Anything by Jeunet, especially "Amelie" which is a French film for Americans who hate French films.
This was the best war movie in the last ten years, and certainly a lot better than "Saving Private Ryan," which was nothing more than poor man's Sam Fuller.
Fair enough. As long as you like Tarkovsky.
Platoon didn't really suck- it was just stupid. At first Stone was stupid- then he sucked.
Heck yeah, I would consider not talking to someone that didn't like Andrei Rublev .
Wuh buh huh? That movie bit. "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's make a war movie where NOTHING HAPPENS!"