Hello citizens of the greater New York City area. My name is Michael, I'm your mayor. Perhaps you voted for me? If not, don't worry, my goons are on their way to your house to give you a beating. Just kidding! I'm not Rudy! Going to let you all in on a little secret info. I'm a big soccer fan. Ever since my trip to Isreal where I got to watch Maccabi Haifa play. Soccer is a great sport, especially for women. I find it exciting and an appropriate form of recreational activity. Also, you shouldn't smoke. I was going over some budget reports (good news! your taxes are going up next year!) when an aid beckoned me over to the television. There were a few people on the television wearing plastic hats and going on and on about some local soccer team. I didn't even know we had a team here! I immediately got in touch with George Steinbrenner but he wasn't much help. He told me I should check out www.manutd.com but they are in Manchester! Not New York! That's in New Hampshire right? Anyways, after some research we found out that the team actually plays in New Jersey, but we won't hold that against them! Just kidding. I must admit what I've found is amazing. Those fine people working at the Metrostars office have come up with perhaps the greatest ever marketing campaign in NYC history. Even better than "I Love NY"! I hope the Metrostars people don't get upset, but I've told George Steinbrenner to use a similar tactic next season to sell Yankee tickets. Maybe then they'll actually WIN the World Series! I also have contacted the people at the Metrostars front office, I want to be in these advertisements. Metal Mike? No thanks! Make it Mayor Mike instead! Anyways, I'm really just ranting now. In closing, your garbage will not be picked up this week as we are inviting all garbagemen to see the Metros playoff game. And no smoking. Thanks! Sincerely, Mayor Mike
What's a Revs? Also, I don't appreciate your tone. I can easily buy you and your family, and have your house dumped in the East River if I like. Thanks!
Wouldn't it be easier for you to dump my apartment building in the Hudson River. Good luck on that non-partisan election thing
Mayor Mike - for your sake I hope you have all that city tort reform worked out - I just severely damaged my nasal cavity with spewing coffee after reading your friendly reminder above. (PS - I smoked in a bar during the blackout. It was better than sex)