War on Christmas (now featuring multiple holidays!)

Yeah, we put out Halloween stuff two weeks ago. The stupid thing is that we put out pumpkins and gourds a few days ago. You have to be pretty lucky to get one that lasts two whole months.

But that's true about everything these days. We got Grandparents day bouquets today. Grandparents day is 9/11. These have to be thrown out 9/10. I think there's some sort of theory of multiple purchases out there in the business world. It started with Halloween candy (you buy it early, you accidentally eat it all while watching Netflix, you have to buy it again) but now they want to spread it to everything.

 

And have you seen the size of the Halloween chocolate bars now? They are microscopic. If they get any smaller you'd use them as chips when baking cookies.

 

Wrong letter reduction. For the corporations, I’m sure they refer to this as the fu size.

 

There's a house in my neighborhood that has the stump of a dead tree in the middle of the front yard. It's not big - about 2 feet tall and just 2 or 3 inches diameter. Instead of digging it out, they decorate it for all the holidays - Xmas, Mardi Gras, Easter, etc. It's still red, white and blue (a bit faded) from the 4th of July. One of the things I love about this town - people aren't afraid to be weird.

 

The Rosh Hashanah song you didn’t know you needed. Not a shonda for the goyim.

 

Urban legends were better back then.

 

Yes, but that's a pagan holiday that encourages kids to worship Satan and engage in the dark arts, so all is well.

 

You see, you were worshiping the Roman pagan god Mars! What's next, worshiping Hades?

 

Better than worshipping Hardee's, but not according to Mike Lindell, The My Pillow Guy

 

Just remember "Hershey" has "Heresy" inside it.

Sky Bars were the big score in my day, even above Three Musketeers...

 

I like pumpkin spice. But it's no apple cider, the true taste of autumn.

 

I thought Ginger Spice was ok, especially with her rendition of It's Raining Men.

 

I preferred Mary Ann.

 

Yvette Mimieux.