NFHS Rule 1.5.3 "Coaches, bench personnel and team members shall be restricted to the team area." NFHS Rule 12.8.1.f A player, coach or bench personnel shall be cautioned (yellow card) for: "unsporting conduct, including, but not limited to: 1. coaching outside the team area." By rule, they may not leave the team area, period.
I officiated my first soccer game since March today. It was a HS girls varsity game. I had forgotten how many times people yell, "Handball, ref!" during a game.
Boys varsity game. We do the double dual, so 3 whistles. I am in the middle on this play. White is attacking, defender right on top, ball is kind of going out towards the goalline on my side of the field, for a goal kick. Both teams in unison essentially screaming - white that it's a corner, black that it's a goal kick. I am not 100% sure, I don't think it deflected, but it could have. I look discreetly at my partner who isn't pointing towards anything, so I give a goal kick and I start backing away. Some moans, but as I am running I hear a white midfielder say "yeaaah that woud be my call too"
Things got interesting today in a middle-bracket final of a somewhat prestigious girls tournament that coaches take very seriously even at U10, which I was reffing. I stand by my calls, and I'm glad I held my ground. But it was my first time dealing with a situation this explosive, and I think it'll be a learning experience. I had two games, and things were relatively normal through three halves. In the first game, one coach wouldn't shut up and actually tried to insist to me that the other team's injured keeper had to go off for treatment. I did point the wrong way twice on free kicks, which didn't help. Game 2: Yellow is fouling quite a bit, including one slide with studs-up that barely missed the target. I'm calling most of what I can see, including a PK. Parents are starting to get angry. Second half: Absolutely brutal slide tackle by a Yellow player in her own area. I point to the spot and then run to check on the player. I would've been wholly justified in showing a yellow for USB, which I have not yet done in a U10 game. That wasn't my first thought, though, and I'm not beating myself up over letting the culprit get away. The coach who comes out to check on his injured player points out that he's had three players hurt. I calmly tell him I'm calling the fouls, and he couldn't argue with that. Note that this is the second PK. But something I'm not sure I handled well -- I warn Yellow that persistent infringement can apply to the whole team. Naturally, the next foul is just an incidental thing, and I can't justify showing a card there. About two minutes to go, Yellow has a 2-1 lead. Blue plays it in the area. Yellow player's arm is at an unnatural angle, making her body bigger, when the ball hits it. It wasn't drilled at her. It didn't play up from her feet. I'm absolutely certain of the call. PK. From the eruption of parents, I clearly hear the magic word "Bullshit!" I *think* I know who said it, but I run over, she denies it. I can't be sure it's her. The Yellow parent closest to the area is still arguing with me, which I'm ignoring. Then another guy -- at first, I thought it was a field supervisor -- yells that I got all the calls *right*. Turns out he's a Blue parent. The back-and-forth starts right away. Yellow says Blue should be standing somewhere else. Blue says Yellow kicked his son's ball over a fence. I go over to tell them to stop. They don't. I tell them both to leave. Yellow parents really on my case. I yell across to their coach, perhaps later than I should have, that they need to be controlled. Blue PK is converted. 2-2. No goal in the remaining minute of play. Off to PKs. Players and coach, to this point, aren't bad. Coach asks a simple and reasonable logistical question. Blue wins in PKs. To my relief, I have no calls to make for GK encroachment. That's when the Yellow coach comes over to tell me my calls changed the game and were ridiculous. She says none of the PKs were legit. I point out that one of them was a slide tackle in which her player went through a Blue player's legs, injuring that player. She doesn't respond to that immediately but later concedes THAT call. I point out that her team was simply fouling a lot. I mention that I could've carded the player on the slide tackle and that three Blue players got hurt. She says, "We play tough, and if they couldn't take it, that's too bad." I surely should've walked away at this point, and let her lob all sorts of personal insults at my back. We went back and forth a little longer and finally disengage. I can't get to my bag without going through the parents who are walking across the field and telling me I gave Blue the game and so forth. I asked -- again, I probably shouldn't have -- what call I got wrong. They focus on the handball. I say I saw the same call twice in the morning's WSL game. I don't remember what they said to that. But my best friend, the Yellow coach, isn't done with me. At this point, I say I'm walking up the hill to the tent with the tournament officials to report what happened. She says she's going to go, too. I say that's fine. She doesn't actually accompany me. She comes up with her team afterwards to collect their runner-up medals, and I move my chat with the tournament official a few feet away. No more words exchanged. I should point out that several neutral people have come up to me to tell me I was right about everything. That was nice. Again, I don't regret any of the calls. Blue comes up next to collect their winner's medal. The parent I tossed from that team very calmly tells me the other guy had threatened his kid and so forth. I say I understand -- I simply couldn't stick around to investigate and had to defuse things. He understands. Blue coach apologizes to me for grumbling about the injuries. I wish him well. As an analyst of the game, I'm shocked that a U10 coach shrugs off injuries like Drago talking about Apollo Creed. As a ref, I need to practice de-escalation.
@Beau Dure , no offence, but I think you first need to stop interacting with parents. Let the coaching staff handle it. Tell the coach that if it doesn't stop, the game is over. It will stop.
Not offended. You're probably right, and I should do a better job of ignoring them at least. I'm a little concerned, though, about the logistics of going across the field to the coach to get her to send some sort of signal back across the field. I also had a coach one game who lamented that he had been tossed from a previous game over a parent he's been absolutely unable to control.
One funny thing I forgot to mention - the coach told me I threw out the wrong person because he wasn’t the one who said bullshit. I guess it’s reassuring to know I didn’t mishear.
Beau I've learned this the hard way. Always, always make the coach address the parents. "Game will not continue until he/she is not longer at the field" is an unbelievably powerful move. It's astounding how effective this line is at changing adult behavior at a youth match.
did this at HS game earlier this week. Asked for the site administrator after a first long loud outburst. For the second one, the guy was already walking to the exit.
So is this a neutral administrator or someone connected to the school? I appreciate all the advice here. It’s a learning experience.
And often the parents on that team will support your getting rid of the knucklehead—who has been bothering them all season.
Had this happen in a Girls HS playoff game today. Before the taking of a penalty kick, the goalkeeper repeatedly yells at the kicker, saying “I know you’re kicking it to the right!” Referee blows the whistle, player shoots, keeper makes the save, and we go on. At halftime I ask the referee about it. He says that because the goalkeeper stopped before he blew the whistle for the kick, that it was OK. Any thoughts or opinions here? I personally did not like it, but as an AR, didn’t think it was my place to intervene.
GK: I know you’re kicking it to the right! I know you’re kicking it to the right! I know you’re kicking it to the right! Referee to GK: You are going to have to leave the field if I caution you for dissent. I suggest you knock it off. or something to the likes. I think this behavior may not rise to the level of dissent but I think it absolutely has to be addressed. This sort of gamesmanship has to be managed. Unfortunately, as an assistant I think its not something for you to intervene but definitely a topic or discussion point for halftime. A national referee coach (maybe Richard heron) always said "what you allow you encourage" and could possibly lead to issues later in the match (albeit late pk, kftm, etc)
I don’t think it would be dissent; I think the proper caution would be for USB. But regardless, tell him to stop. Most will be smart enough not to continue once warned.
Richie Heron. I haven't had a chance to hang out with him in too long. Blunt and on target. I agree that there is no reason for a goalkeeper to be jawing with the kicker. But this instantly reminded me of an article about Whitey Ford, who died last week. (For those too young to know who he was, he was an iconic pitcher for the New York Yankees.) He was quoted as saying that 'it's surprising how many important outs you can get in big games by throwing at the batter's strength.' I.e. they don't think you'll go where you know they are the strongest at hitting the ball. Sort of a reverse psychology thing.
YMMV depending on the state high school association. In general, most states require an on site administrator at all extra curricular events. These may be school admins, ADs, coach/teacher that was forced to, etc. The vast majority of them are useless and won't do anything unless you stop the game and make them. The proactive ones that do the job they are supposed without being made to by referees are a rare breed. Then you have the multiple events going on, but only one admin available. Baseball and soccer at the same time? They may be at the baseball field, and you get their phone number and call if you need them. My state requires they meet us before every event, and that we write down their names. If something happens and they don't help, we are asked to report them and our state association does come down hard on ADs and principals if their on site admin wasn't helpful. Most are happy to help, but only if you take the public 'extreme' measure of stopping the game, finding them, and having the conversation. Too many referees are unwilling to make themselves the center of so much attention and take this step even though they should way more often, and at the first sign of trouble rather than the tenth once it's festered and grown. That applies to both USSF (manage through coaches) and HS (manage through onsite admin/coaches).
The lesson I've learned is that when parents - or anyone, generally - is acting out of control, the best option I have is to slow everything down. Slow down the stressful tempo and slow down my own actions, so that everyone gets the message that I'm not willing to be frenetic because they are. (This applies primarily to youth matches, to be sure.) So in this case, the logistics are easy, if you're willing to let them be. Stop play (or wait for the stoppage). Walk over to the coach (from wherever you are - it's not your fault the kids are going to get less playing time). Tell them that the game will not continue until it stops. Wait. They can run over, or walk over, or yell over, but wait. Then walk back to the starting point. Their misbehavior is not your emergency, and you don't need to be, seem, or feel panicked because of this. This was _really hard_ for me the first two times. Then I watched it work on everyone - including me! - and it got easier. Reading your description, it just seems like you were on tilt, which is totally understandable. I would just think about de-escalating your own heart rate/reactions as a tool to de-escalating a game.
This all makes sense to me. One complication -- while this was going on, a player was waiting to take a last-minute PK that would tie the game. On some level, I was conscious of the need to get that PK done. But I probably would've been better off getting that kick done and THEN confronting the problem.
I’d recommend against that. Once things have gotten bad enough you need to toss someone, take care of it. If you wait till after the PK, it may escalate before you get it taken care of. If the team with the tossed parent is losing, I have been known to mention to the coach, loud enough for the other parents to hear, “clock’s running....”
Unfortunately, you aren't the only one who deals with this. I've been told that a few times as well. Finally, last season I decided I wasn't going to put up with a lot of stuff from the parents. Got administrators involved at three high school matches and ejected a parent with the help of a field marshal in a U9 game. In the high school matches, the administrators getting involved settled things before I had to eject a fan or clear the stands (which I almost did in a playoff game when fans started to direct comments toward players).