The things we hear returns - 2018 edition

I think you are half way there. My suggestion is to review some of the responses that Juneau-AK gave and modify them to fit your personality. I know I have put a few of those responses in my toolbox going forward. I think your response that implies that the coach is stupid will only escalate the situation and could lead to you having to dismiss the coach. I am also not a fan of your "Now, we can speak to each...." because it is too long and IMHO comes across adversarial since you aren't going to be nasty to him why even give that option. The whole point is to get the keeper's jersey changed and let the coach know that his assistant has crossed the line and it is now his issue to solve.

Since you say that you see these coaches often I have found that it is better to give them enough leash to hang themselves so that if you do have to dismiss them they know it was only their behavior that led to the dismissal and not the referee.

 

Last game of the day and I am AR1 on a U-13 Girls “state cup” group play game. They say it is the platinum level but I just don’t know anymore but it was a very good game with both keepers distributing the ball out the back, both teams made up of players calm under pressure, individual ball skills that brought a smile to my face as I watched the ease and confidence that these young ladies were playing the beautiful game.

One coach was super quiet and the other one was coaching but not joy stick coaching just simple instruction and then quiet for 7-8 minutes at a time. The most negative comment that I heard was “needs to be better” and this was on defensive miscue that led to a lead changing goal.

Now for the part of the game that made me smile the most. With about 8 minutes left the score tied 3-3 blue team has played the ball out of their defensive third and are starting to cross midfield when the dribbler was contacted/ pushed to the ground from behind as she slowed down to make a pass. CR blows the whistle for the foul and all I hear is a 12 year old girl on the blue bench yell “advantage ref”. I look over to the bench and can see the Blue coach just smile and nod his head in agreement with his player who would rather have the ball at the feet of her teammate than a free kick 45 yards from goal. All I could think is how I sign up to do games for a club that develops that type of player.

Best game of the weekend according to the site administrator and definitely the most memorable game so far this year.

And of course the first thing I did this morning was reach out to the assignor of the club.

 

Wow. A 12 year old girl wanting advantage, in midfield. All I can say is, look how far the game has come in this country. I remember doing high school boys varsity where a player had no idea what advantage was and his coach is trying to explain the concept to him on the fly.

 

There are very few occasions when there is really a true advantage at midfield in most non-pro games. Trying
to make it so in many cases can result in loss of match control for not calling the fouls.
Simple retention of ball possession is not advantage, especially at mid-field.

Even at the college girls level when I have tried to do so even closer to goal, most times they would
rather have the free kick according to coaches and players.

PH

 

So true and I agree with your statement about advantage and how match control can get away from you if fouls are not called or you play too much advantage. It is that risk reward trade off that makes refereeing so fun. If this foul had occurred 20 yards closer to goal I have no doubt the girl on the bench would rather have the free kick. I think what impressed me was that we had a 12 year old girl who was sitting on the bench at 6:00 pm on a cold Sunday night paying enough attention to the game that in her mind she would have rather of had the ball at her teammate's feet than the free kick that was awarded. I also appreciate how the coach affirmed her opinion with that simple nod and smile.

 

I was working a match this weekend and one of the teams was way better than the other. As the lopsided game is wrapping up. A player went for an awkward challenge with him slipping. As he slipped I guess he grabbed a bit of his shirt to stabilize and let the player go as he launched the ball. simple foul called but a slight delay. All of a sudden I hear a parent "what are you even looking at. HIS SHIRT IS ON HIS CHEST!!!!" I thought to myself "well where else is it suppose to be?"

 

Last week's men's open game, league I know well with teams/players I've seen for a long time, new team that is clearly not going to make it past one season - they dislike everyone, including each other. A few gems, each with their own response which I was happy to think and not say:

Player who I'm currently giving a YC for a reckless tackle: "ref, you really need to get control of this game."

Player I'm speaking to in my normal volume voice, about three feet away from me, screaming: "ref, you need to calm down, you're hysterical."

Corner taken on AR side, I'm on far side of D, I watch one of their attackers slam into a defender who's already in the air around the near post, who hits the ground head-first. Foul going out, attacker's team member says "how could you possibly have seen a foul all the way over there?"

 

"You can't call offside when she scored the goal!" - A parent today on a GU15 game.

 

My first time on the field in a few weeks.

I am trying to move away frm the ball assuming that the ball handler’s body language is telling me he’s going the other way. Nope. He flicks a pass back towards me and I dummy it to the recipient.

Me: sorry, I thought you were going the other way.
Passer: me too.

 

U10 indoor player before the game:
“This Field has nice texture”.

 

Agree 100%

We don't spend nearly enough time in the classroom instructing on this topic. ~70% of advantage applied at the youth, HS, and low level college ball should not be given.

 

I'd say that percentage starts at about 100% for U9-11 and then continually drops as you get older. Most of the high schools in my area very much know how to play advantage and expect it often.

 

I ref indoor, which is a much shorter field than outdoor. So for U10 boys, I call advantage all the time as it only takes them a few seconds to get to goal.

 

The lower the level of play, the higher the percentage. As PH noted, I'd say the majority of games at that level that get out of control did so in large part to referees trying to apply advantage in areas of the field that are pointless. The temperature of the game and managing specific players is much more important. Not to mention..what's that word? Oh, safety. Just blow the whistle.

Flow only matters when there are people paying $$ for tickets. There's a reason all that game flow risk management instruction disappeared as quickly as it did about 5 years ago. Even national and state referees were letting games get out of hand for the sake of 'flow'. Never mind your local 9s-7s that barely have any idea what they are doing to do begin with. See a foul? Blow the whistle.

 

They mostly want it when you don't give it and blow the whistle.

 

Haha the higher the level, the more every call you make is wrong. Calling advantage and they yell at you for not 'protecting players' and calling fouls. Don't call advantage and you might as well of taken away a goal.

 

In general unless you have seen the offended team string together 3-4 passes and have shown the ability to counter attacker adavantage should rarely be given at midfield and never in the defensive third. What I find myself doing is adjusting my advantage criteria throughout the match to match the level of play being displayed. IMHO most games go off the rails due to poor positioning and lack of player management. We have a ref here who plays advantage often but his positioning and player management is honed by decades of experience and quite a few techniques to keep the game at a simmer without risking boil over. I learn something every game I do with him.

 

At one time, I would hear a lot of referees give a pre-game instruction along the lines of "I like to play advantage a lot." Eventually, I realized that was just another way of saying, "I don't call anything unless there's blood." It is important to recognize the difference between advantage and trifling.

 

Middle School girls. Neither team particularly skilled. Visiting coaching staff has a tenuous grasp on the Laws of the Game.

Prior to the game: "Play to the whistle."

During the game: Ball in the visitors penalty area -- attacker kicks it and it rolls 3 feet over the end line for a goal kick (2 man crew; my partner signals for a goal kick and announces the goal kick to everyone within ear shot; the visitors set up for a goal kick).

Visiting Coach (60 yards away) starts going nuts and yells at his players to keep playing (as if the ball hadn't gone out). I try to clarify the situation for him, but he's quite insistent that we're confusing his players: "You told them to play to the whistle."

 

I had an interesting exchange with a girls varsity coach last fall. This was a low level game between two pretty bad teams.

I whistled for a foul in his defensive third, free kick coming out, with my thought process being that there really isn't an advantage in the defensive third. His point, which I had never considered, was that he would rather have his defender kick a moving ball. Girls without a lot of leg strength will just kick that free kick twenty yards, to the ready and waiting opposing team.

I'm still not sold on giving the advantage there as opposed to him figuring out how to get a clearance off a free kick, but it was food for thought.

 

If he wants his player to kick a moving ball, then he should have one player play the free kick to a teammate who then clears the ball up the field.

By the way, that's the dumbest excuse/reasoning that I have ever heard.

 

Good point.

And this makes me think you must be a new referee.

 

When I was coaching 8, 9 and 10 year old girls, as the attackers we wanted a goal kick rather than a corner kick. None of our girls had the leg strength to get the ball to the goal from a corner. The other teams didn't have anyone with the leg strength to get the ball much beyond the goal area, so our girls just set up on the goal area line, waiting to pounce on the goal kick.