Welcome to The Grove of Cerebral Delights (a nerd version of the "Hall of Hotness") What really turns us on about football? Is our reaction merely prurient, a visceral response to exquisitely toned bodies exerting themselves on a patch of lawn, their skin and jerseys gleaming in the sunlight or streaked with rain and mud, as the case may be? Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else as well, I put it to you that it is not. No, what really turns on are the psychological and mental aspects. For example, the on-field comradeship is coupled to raw competitiveness, naked on the field for all to see, and it captivates us, makes us co-conspirators to the action, and emotional voyeurs. The despair at a loss that we as fans feel gives us our preview of the void, a sneak peek of the eternity that will ultimately unite all humankind. The thrill of a win can send us into rapture and make us forget ourselves, as we celebrate and meld our egos with one another, losing temporarily the concept of 'the other.' The point is, it's all in the mind. Share with the masses assembled here your more elevated notions of what makes football, or football players, hot. Your contribution may be words, pictures, or, some combination thereof. Is there a good football poem out there? Link to it here. Like big tough athletes wearing tiny little librarian glasses? Show us, but also explain to us why we should share your passion. Proof of players exhibiting higher brain functions are also encouraged. Got an excerpt of some player's thesis? Have you been sitting on pictures of your favorite player reading Harry Potter while relaxing in the airport? Now's your chance to shine. Unannotated displays of people in any state of dress or undress will be frowned upon; unjustified lists of body parts will be ridiculed. Let's give this sport and its players the respect they deserve! This thread strives to be inclusive, and is open to historically underrepresented minorities, with no discrimination based on race, ethnicity, real or perceived gender, sex or lack thereof, sexual orientation or confusion, past or current substance abuse, Vietnam-era draft status, physical or mental illness, status as a Union member or steward, poverty or wealth, hormonal balance, past or current status as forum moderator, past or current support of any football team at all from Germany, or past or current citizenship in the United States. People who speak with funny accents are especially encouraged to participate (and that's all y'all). And before some wag asks what about a tie, how about "The emptiness of a draw reminds us of the ultimate futility of our individual pursuits of happiness and perfection, and recalls us to our deeper responsibilities to ourselves, duties which some term spiritual."
For instance, look at this photo of two football players. What makes it 'hot'? Never mind that the individuals involved are undeniably attractive; never mind the dripping, honestly earned sweat, mingling as the one spasmodically clutches the hair of the other, and presses their brows together. Never mind their locked eyes, or the intense gaze on one face that might almost be an ecstasy of longing, or the open and simple pleasure on the face of the second. We might pause for a moment, and consider that the two of the them are celebrating their joy at some mutual goal, worked hard for and deservedly attained. But no, no— this suspicion is also not what has some of us fanning ourselves, and reaching for the frosty glass of ice cubes floating in a generous serving of gin and lime juice. What makes the picture hot, then? It's all in those four words below the picture: "Nu slår vi dem." GoogleTranslate may give you a rather aggressive translation, but the correct version is the more realistic "Now we beat them." Those words speak of a Team Sweden in peak physical form, in full fighting mettle, confident and proud. They predict Triumph, and Justice, and Swedish Victory, and woe betide anyone who dares to get in their path! Now that's hot.
Just a reminder: No overly revealing photos and all photos are subject to my editing in case something is considered 'iffy.' Thanks!
Sorry no hot picture there but a weird reply actually : I have to say you are 100% right about it is all in the mind. What I find enjoyable about football is that is like a chess game with humans and that you can visualise the pitch like when you play football manager or analyze the data from the pro-zone system. Watching how the team movement articulates itself is a joy especially when it is working well. Cerebral and intellectual delight for sure...
Well, that's us suitably chastised. Considering the fact that your oozing hormones tend to scare the rest of us, that is.
Thanks for providing the back-up stick, but let's hope there won't be any posts like the ones you are concerned about; I'm sure that all replies will be well-reasoned, edifying, educational, and of strict high moral standards. Like this one was: [emphasis added to original]
First I would like to applaud the purveyors of this particular message board for presenting what is essentially the judgment by personal opinion of an individual's physical attractiveness, most likely influenced by that person's societal experience and family history, however presenting it in a way that clearly requires a strong grasp of the English language as well as significant education in sociology, psychology, and the most rare of topics, women's football (soccer). Thus creating a forum for objectification through intelligent discourse. ;-) I should clearly add this to my graduate studies presentation... But I apologize for the interruption, as I have no photos to offer.
You have quite smoked the purpose, Madam. As for photos, please note that none are strictly necessary; words alone can potentially be quite as compelling. Come on in, the water's fine.
When I asked them, Mami Yamaguchi and Natalie Spilger were so delighted as joint winners of the Hall of Hotness "Best Hair" awards, and so excited by the thought that they might also lift a Cerebral trophy, that they posed for me here Their opinions in this category notwithstanding, your introductory essay is indeed a good one, a very good one - it really is all in the mind just as you say. Perhaps it is, for me, one word, trying, just trying.
Point of clarification... do you mean 'trying' (attempting or endeavoring, "Mami Yamaguchi is trying very hard to win", intransitive), or 'trying' (testing or making demands on, "Natalie Spilger is trying the policeman's patience", transitive)? Probably the former, but thought I'd check...
So this is like a place you can go to and say why someone's hot which out simply saying "They're hot?"
Yes. But think of it more as a place to fawn over certain players that may or may not be defined as the typical 'hot.' Hot can be a player's attitude, their personality, how they play, a certain look in a certain photo ...
I meant the former - of course. My post was mostly serious. The forum raises an interesting point. I actually saw my first WPS game of the year on Sunday, Sky Blue v Atlanta, and I did see Mami Y trying - that is trying to get around the excellent Daphne Koster. Not easy at all !
Thanks for the endorsement, mumf, it's helping me to keep my spirits up in the face of certain detractors who seem to doubt my sincerity (not to mention the inexplicable loss by Sweden's U20s just a few minutes ago). So let's take early stock. So far we've got one contribution about the yearning for victory (me), one noble idea about the triumph of strategy (shlj), and one vote in appreciation of honest effort (mumf). So far all participants are lazy types who cannot be bothered to press the shift key overly much. There are however a couple of tentative posts here suggesting to me that there are some Capital folks who, though they may be generally shy, might like to add something. Psst! Hey, you! Yeah, you standing back there at the punch bowl, with the plateful of canapes and chocolate-dipped strawberries. Judging books by their covers works pretty well sometimes...
First of all, Sweden. I wrote on the WWC u-20 forum that the 3 minutes of FIFA highlights impressed and entertained. I was following Japan (not out of nationalism) but it looks like that, similar to Sweden, they had chinks in the DF armor, and despite I think being a superb team, they paid the price. And in Sweden's case, the GK does not seem ready yet for the big time. But you probably know better, having seen I asume the entire game. Your sincerity - well obviously I cannot endorse the detractors, based upon what I wrote - except that, sure, there is a gender thing. But why am I drawn here - I really dont have time to be here - but I keep coming back ! Well I thought of another angle, to answer your fundamental question. I live in the NYC metro area, and I have always thought that tennis stars Sharapova and that Serbian girl (name escapes) were 10/10 beautiful, etc. I have been to the US Open, once for mens' finals' day too, but have never seen any of the tennis beauties. Why not? Compare that to the WPS - I am feeling guilty I have not seen more games, even though Sky Blue are an hour away. Relatvely speaking, its so ordinary (and has already proven fatally ephemeral for two of the teams) - the whole league, and even the international system - is "trying". And its the same for the players, international or not, basically they have nothing except themselves. And even it occurs to me, some of them are lesbian, so they have to hide large parts of themselves. And for all of them, they are on borrowed time anyway, most will have to dump their soccer "careers" - if you can call it that. After the game I succeeded in getting Yamagunchi's autograph and congratulated her on reaching the World Cup, which she appreciated. Then I thought, so few know that, and maybe if I stick around I could get my disinterested friend to take a cell-phone photo of us together (to post on big.soccer ...lol). There was a coach waiting which I guessed was the Beat's ride to the airport or hotel. So we waited, and at last Mami exitted the stadium - and promptly walked in the opposite direction ! She headed across a gravel parking lot into a dimly lit area.........soon I followed (my friend by now really p'eed off). And there was the team transportation - two of those "wagon" type vehicles (more like a prison van) that can take around 12 people if packed like sardines. Pathetic. But afterwards, it made more sense. Circus roadshows probably have better conditions, whcih I knew all along. So I like that these girls are among the best and yet make do with so little. It is the minimalism, almost anonymity, of it all.
I've been having feminist debates elsewhere that sort of sparked this for me, and while this is probably not the place to post this, I can't think of anywhere better. I'm all about imperfections. I like how Bresonik has scars on her cheeks. The big patches of freckles that cover Herlovsen's face. I like Stensland's stringy hair and Schelin's pencil neck. Which is why I was kind of sad to hear about Scott going through so much trouble to fix her teeth. They're kind of what makes her who she is. With the way she writes and the the way she plays, I couldn't possibly think of a single thing she could fix to make her any more attractive. Imperfections are good. They're endearing and cute and make you memorable.
Fine, but why? What do a perfect set of teeth on a footballer say to you, that you maybe suspect that the rest of us are missing? (a flash of a smile on a face covered in mud and bits of grass, for instance, or a hint of inner beauty hidden by external coarseness...)
probably because my dad was a dentist. so anyone that has teeth severe enough to need rearranging- who doesn't then have them rearranged is an oddity that i can't comprehend. like people who willingly wear mom-jeans. if you're not a mom and other jeans are available to you why on earth would you wear something so illfitting? in the grand scheme i see people who take care of their teeth as the people that always intended to make something out of themselves (i'm not saying this is true, just my view and it is shallow and unfair, I know) so if a footballer were to take care of their teeth i would view them as having aspirations greater than those achieved on the pitch. which them makes me think that they are more intelligent than not. and intelligence is always attractive/sexy. stephen hawking call me. j/k your teeth are kind of a mess.
Do you know how much dental care costs in the U.S.? Much less making them pretty. Speaking of which, I need to find a good dentist in Germany for when I go back (hopefully) next year ... Their prices aren't Thailand cheap, but they're pretty good.
for the most part it depends on how long you wait. the longer you wait the longer the process will take and thus more money. my orthodontic work was completed by the time i was 10. as soon as i had the front four teeth in on top and bottom, Pa saddled me with some retainers and straightened my grill out while widening my mouth to accommodate my teeth. full cost on that would be 1200. if i had waited until 13-whatever it would have cost an easy 3K. and taken 3-4 years instead of 18 months. plus it would have taken braces which is sort of like the atkins diet. It gets the job done, but its not really good for you.
on topic, what i don't find hot about football and it may just be in my mind. action photographs. oh my gosh what a disservice. everynow and then there's a truly awesome one where the player looks totally bitchin. the majority of the time its a crazy awkward face coupled with a distorted looking body.
wow! 3K for braces at 13? seriously? I'm gonna go hug NHS.... Got braces at 18 (and 4 teeth hauled out, retainer at 19 and a permanent brace fitted to lower row a few months ago, all to fix teeth pretty much identical to Alex Scott's. I used to tell little kids I was a vampire and show them my fangs..... anyways back to perving....
One of the things I like about a certain Pineapple Princess is now matter how tough they appear or act, there's alway this piece of warmness of femininity that shines through. One of the best arenas in which this quailty was best captured was in their ESPN: Body Issue pictorial/shoot. There's also a level of humility and maturity displayed to all who encounter her. One of which was not initially present but that has blossomed over the ages. The beauty of many living things in nature are their ability to adapt and change, especially for the better. Something is also to be said about a person who is never ashamed of who they are no matter how "eccentric" they may "appear" to be. SN: Kitten, I'm not a fan of busted grills either.