I don't feel you're overthinking. It is hard to make the choice to go away from friends and the "known". Ask her what she wants (at this point in time) for her soccer future. Does she want to play in HS? In College? Does she want to be a standout? If so, she needs to continue to be challenged and pushed. If the current club isn't doing that for her, yes, it's time to look elsewhere. She'll (presumably) still see friends at school and other activities, but it wouldn't be unusual for friends to change over the middle & HS years. Hopefully she's the type to make friends with anyone. That would make the transition to another club/team easier.
This is a really great idea. Thank you. You may well be right—we shall see... Unfortunately, the drive to both is equally bad!
Thanks for this advice. You're right—this is a good time to start having the conversation with her. We as parents are leaning toward the new challenge, but ultimately it's about her goals and how she wants to reach them. Both clubs are quite far away, so even though her current team has been her "soccer friends" for several years now, a move won't affect her close relationships with friends from school. She does make friends with new teammates quite readily (and already made a few on the prospective new team), so that is a plus.
Well, tomorrow is the beginning of tryouts for our region, and for the first time, my 9 year old is going to go around as a "free agent" to find a club to stick to. I coached him for the past three years in whatever you would call Comp soccer, as a trainer/coach in the club for its academy. But the DOC got removed by the board, which trickled down and I was a casualty as a result, without being interviewed or talking to the new DOC. Shady dealings aside, that's not the main point, as I think a new coach other than me would be good for my boy. The issue is he's been sick for the past week and not nearly 100 percent. I'm looking at him doing 2-3 tryouts per day for the next 3-4 days and I just can't see this being anything but harmful for him. However, these clubs don't know anything about him and therefore it's not like they can trust his word as to his skill (which isn't A team material, but good enough to get on most 2nd teams when he's not feeling sick). I just don't know what to do. Should I tell the coaches ahead of time that he's still recovering from sickness? He wants to compete but at what cost to his effectiveness, and more importantly, his health. Again, this is our first year of really shopping around and I am very new to these dynamics as a parent first, rather than as a coach of my son.
2-3 tryouts per day for 3-4 days? So you want him to try out for 12 clubs (or attend 12 tryouts) at age 9? Sorry, that's a big "hell no" for me. Figure out your top three, maybe four at the most. Concentrate on those. Find one that's a "reach", one that's a "safety", and one in the middle.
I've got a 9 year-old myself, and I'll just say that he's not ready for the free-agency mindset. Mine played travel ball this past year, and adjusting to the rigors of three training sessions a week, along with--at times--multiple matches on the weekends, was very much touch-and-go. The only reason I allowed him to play travel ball was: a) he knew exactly what was expected--having seen his sister play--before he signed up; b) he verbally indicated--several times--that he wanted to dive in. In any case, if I were in your shoes, I'd consider finding a team with a good parent/player group that has the potential to grow together for 3-4 years. I wouldn't necessarily worry about level at this stage, nor do I think that the illness issue is worth talking about, unless--of course--he simply can't try out. I do think it's valuable for players to attend multiple tryouts when they get older (U12/U13+), but it's my contention that the kids need to have a sense of their identities--as players--before they truly start thinking in those free-agency terms.
Not a problem--I'm very much in the middle of things with my own daughter, so I can empathize. There are times when I feel like I have 3-4 unpaid soccer-related jobs, which--now that I think about it--probably isn't an exaggeration! As bad drives go, I've done my fair share--two years ago, it was a one-way 1.5 hrs., two-days-a-week trek to training sessions. Last year? Even better...2 to 2.5 hrs. one-way drives, twice a week. For her, it was worth it. However, I'm hoping that this fall will bring some sanity back into our lives. If the local club pulls my daughter back into the fold (& things are looking good there...but we'll know more at the end of the month), drives to practice will take 8-10 minutes. I won't know what to do with all that extra time...lol!
OK, ask yourself this... are you risking leaving a bad impression if he turns in a bad performance because he's worn out/tired? Yes, I know 9yo are supposed to "go forever". But you say he's also getting over an illness and he's not 100% yet (will he be by tryouts?). How good will he be for the 2nd (or 3rd?) tryout on day 2, much less day 3?
I look back at when my son was 9 and accidentally left off the list of kids that made the team. I was devastated. So was he. Ended up being literally a cut and paste issue. I look back now and think of how much of an overreaction that was. There's so much that will happen after that time I'm not even able to recall all of it. Puberty was the game changer for most of the kids I saw. The club we are at treated many kids as their "special" project kids. The kids that excelled at that age group. None are left. All have moved on to other teams, were outgrown, lost interest, weren't the fastest anymore, whatever you want to name the reason. My point..... don't sweat it. Don't overthink it our your son will overthink it. Find the best fit for that age. Most touches on the ball. A place where he'll smile on the way home and fuel the fire for the game when he's older and where results matter. Just my two pennies.
We've been involved with travel soccer for over a decade with DS and 8 (+/-) years with DD. We've went "shopping" ONCE... before DS' U19 year (this season). We started with our local club. DS played there for Academy (U8-U9), U10, and U11. It was obvious the U11 team was breaking up, so we leapt to the biggest club 20 minutes up the road and made the top team. He stayed there from U12-U18 (no U13 season because of the age change). He had a great U16 season, mediocre U17 and bad U18 (quality drop). So we went shopping this year and he tried out for four different teams. Prior to the U17 year, he tried out for the closest MLS academy and didn't make the cut. DD has been with the local club since U7 Academy (currently U16). She has no desire to go anywhere else.
thank you, really liked this post as it hits home as my son is 10. Soccer is not my thing so has been a bit difficult for me to guide him/find the right team/coach so he can just soak - learn and have fun. I have a good feeling about this new squad though (this is an annual saying lately lol)