OK, if you peruse the referee section here you know they have no problems complaining about parents. But let's be honest, ALL soccer parents have complaints about refs (not all refs, but some). I'm not talking about the occasional missed call (I think we all understand that can happen). I'm talking about REPEATED "huh" moments in the game. And yea, blah, blah, blah, we have a different angle, refs may have been blocked, etc. Vent away! I'll start. NFHS... Opposing team has a free kick about 30 yards out. The kick goes about 5' over the crossbar (Keeper did jump at it but was a foot or two short). CR calls "Corner kick!" We have a corner kick. Player puts the ball in the air between the PK spot and 6 yard box. Defender jumps up and heads it back toward the player who took a corner. He touches it... TWEET! Offside! (For those who don't know, this ruling changed this year... if played by a defender to someone in an offside position, they are not considered offside). Tangle of players about 20-25 yards out from our goal. We gain possession and have the ball over the midfield stripe w/numbers forward. TWEET! Opponent had gone down with an injury where the tangle of players were. Keep in mind we had possession, numbers, AND were moving AWAY from the injury. What's the restart? Opponents take a drop ball where play had stopped and kicked it to our keeper. Play is later stopped for an injury. We're taking an uncontested drop ball, but as the CR drops the ball, opponent rushes up, goes THROUGH our guy who was taking the drop. Both players go down. TWEET! Foul on us. Did I mention this was all in the same game?
We were playing NL in Libertyville last weekend, and we very disappointed in the caliber of refs assigned to our games...all them degenerated into pro rasslin' matches in short order. Physical play is fine, but for Pete's sake there has be some semblance of pretending to go after the ball. Two-handed shoves from behind should always get a whistle. Conversely, falling down does not mean a foul occurred. I was hoping for better after driving eight hours to get there.
The last 2 years my son played 7v7 with the build out line. Most refs didn't seem to bother learning what the rules were around this because it was a different interpretation every week.
And you find this amusing because? The rule changed last year for NFHS. https://www.nfhs.org/sports-resource-content/soccer-rules-changes-2018-19/. Yes, I said "this" year. Sue me.
I generally give youth refs a big pass. I had to fill in as a linesman one year (our league required U11 teams to have two parents from each club certified due to shortages) and it SUCKED. The fact that my son was pretty much glued to the bench that Spring season was just the icing on the cake. Getting yelled at by parents from MY club while my son wasn't allowed to play was hand's down the low point of my 13 years as a "soccer Dad." That said, I've seen quite a few mystifyingly bad refs, a few lazy ones (one forced our U-9 team to forfeit a game for "safety reasons" because the field markings were a little faint...we explained that even though we were the home team we had no control over that, and the other coach promised he wouldn't complain about the situation or appeal the result--no luck, the game was cancelled. The other coach agreed to stick around and scrimmage so it wasn't a wasted trip), and one truly, obviously biased ref. The latter was a lone ref for a Middle School game. You don't get the best refs at Middle school games and that's fine, nobody expects them to be elite. But this guy wasn't BAD, he was clearly, unapologetically biased. I don't say that lightly--one thing that always made my eyes roll here in Northern VA was the widespread belief that Virginia refs favored VA teams and Maryland refs favored MD teams. It was a mantra of parents at club games for years (I got an earfull of that noise the year I had to fill in as linesman). I think what people see as deliberate bias is often just a matter of perception, or projecting ill intent onto poor reffing or just inevitable human error. BUT...this one game, the guy was beyond bad. He was beyond making a disproportionate number of bad calls which favored one team over the other (which, statistically, is bound to happen once in a while). At the time, I wished I had something to write on so I could keep track of the nearly endless individual calls and decisions this guy made which helped the home team at the expense of my son's team and the integrity of the game. I thought I'd never forget that day, but with the passage of time I only remember a handful of highlights which--trust me--represent just a sampling of what was a relentless series of indefensible ********ery over the course of 60-plus (I no longer remember how long MS games in our state are) minutes. He called a goal my son's team scored back for offside. Granted, he was behind the play, without a linesman, but the kid was--I'm not exaggerating--10 full yards onside. The second-to-last player was setting up to get to the ball which was in front of him. There was no way to misread the situation. Kid from my son's team was dribbling--beat a player from the other team. Ref yells at the kid for having an untucked jersey (which had just been pulled loose by the kid he beat, with the ref watching) and tells him to fix it immediately. Kid does so--but ref does not stop play, allowing the opposing player who'd just pulled the jersey loose to recover the ball. Play went on. Multiple throw-in calls made for the other team even though the ball had deflected off of one of their players. I'm not talking a slight deflection--I'm talking a 90-degree redirection. Like a straight vertical forward pass knocked out sideways by a home team player with nobody else around him, and the ref pretending it hadn't touched him. This happened quite a bit. Pretended not to hear (mostly white) home team players yelling ethnic and racial slurs at (mostly Hispanic & African-American) players; but immediately gave cards for "abusive language" to any visiting team player for yelling back. And I don't mean a few seconds later--he'd be right next to both players, the white kid would call the Hispanic kid a [nasty anti-Latino slur], the latter would immediately tell the white kid to "shut up" and the ref would card the Hispanic kid.* Allowed home team coach to influence calls while demanding that the visiting team coach keep her mouth shut. Allowed home team to take set pieces while substitutions (which he had allowed) were still being made by the visiting team; never allowed visiting team to take set pieces until home team stated that they were ready. It's conventional wisdom that it's the retaliation foul which gets called, but this guy took that to the next level. Made it very clear that the home team could get away with grabbing, pushing, tripping, etc. but even legal hard challenges by the visiting team were whistled and sometime carded. And so on, and so on. Like I said--these were just some of the obvious things I still remember. I know that at the time it was so relentless that I lost track and just had to laugh at how transparently ridiculous it was. *Yeah, by the end of the game I fully realized this was really the subtext to all of it. The guy was just a bigot, and already had his mind made up that the team from the majority-minority working class part of the county was made up of thugs which the middle-class white kids needed to be protected from.
Our club had a u10 playing in an annual tournament hosted by our city's mega-club. Our club is a tiny, focused competitive club, and the team was playing against one of the mega-club's top teams. The referee, a single center, was literally a coach from the mega-club still wearing his coaching attire. There was not even a pretense of impartiality, and the strange calls kept piling up. He was able to influence the game constantly with odd offside calls and awarding corners with no deflection, etc. Finally, with his team trying to equalize, the game went on for about 10 minutes past the correct end time.
Refereeing is a tough gig and without them the game can't flourish. So, I've never really been a ref basher. I get frustrated by many ridiculous decisions, but you just need to accept them and move on. For me, it all comes down to education. If we can get younger referees involved and educated early on we'll see the global standard of refereeing massively improve. To be honest, I've got nothing but respect for young boys and girls who want to take on the responsibility of officiating at games. Takes real balls to put yourself in the firing line at such a young age. Having been involved in grassroots football in Germany for a number of years, it was really impressive to watch their youth referees in action. Sound decision making, confidant, authoritative and composed.... could do with some of them in the UK.
I'll generally give refs the benefit of the doubt. But I wanted to just start a thread that gives parents a place to vent with others who would understand. If you don't want to participate, that's totally fine. No one is saying refs don't have a hard job, or that we expect them to be 100% accurate 100% of the time.
Refs and umps have made bad calls since sports were invented. Have the team manager provide feedback on lazy, uninformed or difficult refs. Parents should just keep quiet and know there is nothing good to come from complaining or abusing. And years later you won’t be proud of yourself (and your kids won’t either). I’ve seen my kids play hundreds of games...maybe 1,000?? You see it all: great refs, bad refs, cheatin refs, lazy refs. When you see a good one, tell them. Negative reinforcement won’t improve the bad ones but positive reinforcement can help retain the good ones.
I was watching the game going on the field previous to my son's starting this weekend. After the game a couple of the kids went to their parents who were standing next to me. The kids were upset, because they said the ref called them "babies" and told one of the kids he was a "flopper". The parent said they were going to complain to the tournament director. It was all I could do to not burst out laughing. The babies comment may have been over the top a little, but I have no issue with a ref calling out someone who takes a dive.
If they were u17 I’d feel one way...if they were u9 I’d feel differently. Not so much that I don’t appreciate the observation in either case but the ref should be aware if you say that to an 8 year old you are going to hear about it later. What good refs say to good players in good games is often accurate, funny and pointed. When everyone has the proper maturity it can be a hoot to hear some of the banter that went on between players, refs, teammates, coaches. Other times it’s all fun and games until somebody says the wrong thing to the wrong person
OK, I've got another one... DS is playing indoor with some members of his HS team. He's got club going currently, so this is truly "just for fun" and he'll crack jokes with team mates and opponents during the match. Last night's match getting a little chippy (on both sides). One bru-ha-ha, DS worked at calming everyone down. So we're at the end of the game (less than 30 seconds left). DS is sort of shielding the ball going away from him, opponent behind him clips his heels. DS falls forward (yes, a flop), and falls sort of on top of the ball, hears the whistle and grabs the ball in his hands. Opponent, well after the whistle, rears back with his foot and kicks at DS's stomach. When I say this was blatant, I mean it. I jump down off the bleachers and start yelling. DS actually gets up and tells me to calm down saying he's fine. So, what do you think the CR does? Red, right? Nope, yellow. Look, I get physical play, but when you intentionally try to hurt someone (there was no doubt about the kid trying to kick the ball or anything), that should be an ejection, suspension, and report to admins. DS went up to the kid after the game to ask him why he did it, and was told "I had to take out my frustrations". Grr....
If you report every one of these over the years you will need a form letter pre-printed. Your son is right, let him or the coach handle it. He may produce a tough tackle later or maybe the coach will report it...as they get older you really don’t want to be “that parent”
Really? This is my son's 11th year playing soccer, 8th year playing competitive. Add in various camps, ODP, futsal, indoor, etc. DD has been playing for at least 8 years, most of them competitive. So I think it's safe to say we've gone through HUNDREDS of games together. We've seen tough tackles. We've seen injuries. They have never been subjected (and they've never subjected anyone) to an intentional act designed to inflict pain. Yes, I understand it happens. But it is not, and should not, be as frequent as you make it seem. As we were driving home, DS was joking with me about getting off the bleachers so quick. But as we got out of the car at home, he said "I know I've been joking with you, but thank you for having my back."
Remember that ref in Brazil who got quartered by the home crowd for not being very good at reffing? Now that's venting. But seriously, son handled it great during and after the game.
Looks like you need to toughen up. Football is a passionate contact sport. These things happen. Deal with it and move on. No point in throwing your teddies out the cot just because Daddy's Little Soldier took a boo boo to the belly. Sounds like your son dealt with it well and just got on with things. Well done young man Oooo you sound quite the seasoned soccer parent, so I don't really get why you're getting your knickers in a twist over a foul Eyebrow's Advice: HIT opponents HARD in the tackle when needed.
Apparently your reading comprehension needs some work. Let tell you slowly... THE. KICK. WAS. NOT. PART. OF. THE. TACKLE. The play was over. Whistle was blown. Son was lying on the ground. Opponent decided to kick him in the stomach. That's not a hard tackle. That's dirty play. Maybe in your coaching excellence, that's just part of the game you teach your little ones. IMO, that kind of play has no business at ANY level. If your advice is to try to harm opponents after the play is dead, I have another reason to be thankful... that you've never coached my kids.
If I'd have coached your child, I guarantee you wouldn't have been standing up and screaming at his football matches. No place for parents like you within youth soccer.
You just don't like that I don't bow down to your "great skills" as a coach. If you condone dirty play as a "part of the game" (and I'm not talking about hard tackles), I want to stay as far away from your influence as possible.
Eyebrow's influence is everywhere. It's the whisper in the wind, the round of applause and the sting of the liniment. I could help you and your child so much and you don't even realise it