We all know that many youth soccer clubs could not function without parents as coaches, especially at the younger age groups. However we all have heard the many complaints about parents that coach soccer also. Good, bad, what are your thoughts and expereinces with parents as coaches?
Was the parent a player? Does the parent know how to teach skill work. Does the parent love the game and can pass that love of game to the player it can be contagious.. Does the parent have coaching licenses. If he has they make super great coaches. Lastly don't let the parent do his own kids. ------------- I was a parent coach I coached my first team in 1970 while I was still an adult club player. Had mu first child in 1974. A parent in my humble oppionion can make you a better coach for kids. Because you know what the kid is feeling as a person and not just as a player. I think if you have the experiuence plus the other experience I mentioned you could be a super coach.
It really depends on the level of play that the parent is involved in. For recreation town/travel soccer, a parent who has played the game, has an entry level license, and a willingness to learn how to do some drills with the kids and keep a fun atmosphere is great. However, if I am paying upwards of $1000 or more to put my child into a club, I am doing so because the coaching is supposed to be better, the atmosphere is one of developing the kids to be their best, and the training and competitive opportunities should be above what was available in a recreational program. In the club, I want higher license levels, on-going courses, diplomas, certifications, a history of developing kids, and an advanced knowledge of the game and how to teach it. If that happens to be a parent, then great.
ditto to hifi. if i am paying..i expect more. for any sport- parents teaching thier own kids is hard. most kids don't listen to the parent like they would another adult. most parents can't treat their kid like they would treat a stranger's kid. i can't give my daughter riding lessons. she has figured out that i am not as stupid as she thought..only after getting dumped a few times when she didn't do what she was told. i can see my daughter's friend is quitting soccer because all she does is fight with her dad. for travel- volunteer: my daughter's coach does not have a girl on the team. i like that. no one can say he favors his child.
I should be clearer. My original question was meant to be around parent coaches (head or assistant) who coach their own sons and daughters. I do not think there are many issues with parents who coach other players (not their kids). The issues seem to be mainly when they coach their own.
Most important thing for any coach parent or experienced player do they really .love the game. I don't think much of a parent coaching a team just because his kid is a player. QWhat love of the game can a parent have who had no experience as a player. How can he pass that love of game that he doesn't have to his players. How long will the parent be into the game until his kids stops playing?
That is a pretty narrow minded view (if you didn't play, then you must not have a love for the game).- that frankly I have grown tired of hearing. I am in my mid-30s and I know that there were about 5 kids playing soccer in my town growing up while we all were playing baseball/football/basketball. Now that I have kids and they love soccer, I have learned the game, I have coached it -- and I love it. Now, my friends at work with no kids think that is a joke, but I really do. And just because I did not play it, does not mean I can not coach it -- the technical aspects as far as footwork -- I had a trainer come in and work with my team -- I took care of the rest of the coaching. Soccer is no different than the rest of the sports out there that take the coaching way too seriously....these sports are just not that difficult to coach. Sorry for getting on the soapbox, but it really ticks me off when someone says I can not love the game just because I did not play -- I am a sports lover and taht translates very easily into soccer. And as far as coaching, I think the parent/child part is bad because the expectations end up being too high from the parent on the child -- and the child is treated differently. It does not mean that the parent can not coach. It just cracks me up that parents sound like a bunch of dribbling morons and these European and Central American gyus come in telling us how to do everything -- oh wait, after being on the parent sideline, I guess most are a bunch of dribbling morons! ha!
Like everything else, it all depends! My U17 son spent the last two years where the (paid) coaches left mid season for various reasons - one got a real job offer and moved, the other got caught up in personal stuff and sort of vanished. Both times, a dad on the team (longtime rec coach) stepped in and "covered" for the real coach for the rest of season. This year, the team just asked him to go ahead and be their coach. He has much less experience than the coaches who left, but he connects well with the boys. The kids respond to him, and he brings in other coaches to work on specific things so they get overall training. Yes, his kid is on the team, but you'd hardly know it if it wasn't pointed out. Perhaps this worked out differently because he didn't choose to coach the team, it was thrust upon him the first two times. I can see where parents who coach their own kids might have trouble with either favoritism or being too hard on junior. Ours isn't.
allsport- sounds like you have a great parent coach. Maybe because the age that he is coaching ? (16 year olds aren't going to be quiet about any favoritism !) My experience is that there are 2 kinds of parent coaches and BOTH are bad: We all know the first kind..."MY kid is the best, they will play the most, they will only play forward etc...". The second kind is a bit rarer but I have seen it. This coach is so worried about showing favoritsm that their child never starts, get the least amount of playing time. Play the position no one else will etc.. Unfortunately the child of coach #1 isn't very talented and the child of #2 type of coach usually has the talent !
In your oppionion don't most parents who coach do it for their own kids? Don't try to tell me they have a built in love for the game because if they did they would still be involved with the game when their have stop playing for them. Plus they would take up playing for tyheir own enjoyment.
I didn't say that they didn't START coaching because of their kids (of course they did -- what person is going to take a group of U6 Rec players and just coach "for the love of the game" -- not many if any)....but because they never played before, they can not come into a state of enjoying the game? And I don't play because, uh lets see -- I work for a living -- and when I am not working I am with my kids -- or at soccer. I gave up baseball/softball about years ago -- a sport I have "the love" for -- to spend more time with my kids. I think it is fairly ridiculous to think that you have to have played it in the past to a love for the sport, yes. Granted, most folks in the states have not gotten the passion for the sport -- which is why it has not taken off here yet. And that goes for any sport -- so my wife can't love the NFL because she never played football in HS? My kids ice skated competitively for years -- I grew to enjoy that sport -- I think I ice skated twice in my life.....
I personally would prefer the coach not have a kid on the team. All things being equal I would prefer that the coach had played the game. Either as a kid in a club, in school or both. If not, at least as an adult. My kids have had coaches who were parents who never played and coaches who played at a high level (one had a couple of national team caps). I'd take the national teamer any day. I'm not going saying that you have to have played the game to love the game, but, most parent coaches I met wouldn't cross the street to watch a soccer game that they didn't have a familial interest. If they had a genuine interest we would be seeing soccer on the major TV networks instead of only FSC. Toxoman, I think you should re-read your post. I appears soccer was available in your town (5 kids played) but you didn't give it much thought. You were forced to pay attention to soccer because you wanted to coach your kids. My guess is that your kids fell in love with basketball instead of soccer you would be professing you love for roundball on BigBasketball. I will now contradict everything I just said with some personal facts. My favorite soccer coach and the man most responible for my continuing interest in soccer for the past 40 years, was a parent coach who never played soccer. But that was the 60's. If you didn't have a passion for the game, you didn't have a game.
"what person is going to take a group of U6 Rec players and just coach "for the love of the game" A lot of people you just don't know them. My first 10 was under 10 club team I had no kids on that team. "but because they never played before, they can not come into a state of enjoying the game?" So do you coach a team now that does not have your kids playing on it? "And I don't play because, uh lets see -- I work for a living" So you think no one plays who works? "and when I am not working I am with my kids -- or at soccer." I always played and coached at the same time from 1970 and after 1974 I also spent time with my own kids, and played and coached and even worked. "My kids ice skated competitively for years -- I grew to enjoy that sport -- I think I ice skated twice in my life...." So you coached ice skating now that they don't skate competively anymore?
Obviously I was being sarcastic with the 5 kids playing when I grew up... And I know that is why I have gotten interested in the game (because my kids play) -- but why does it matter where your passion came from? And coaching is NOT that difficult (in any sport) -- IF you have passion. Now for me to contradict myself -- I coached my daughter through U10 -- and then sent her off to the professionals because I knew it was slowing her development (her and I always butting heads) -- and I was not one of the 2 types of coaches listed earlier on here -- she started, played defense, and played as many minutes as others -- but I put too much pressure on her to perform all the time. I know that some huge percentage of parent coaches are jokes out there (probably in the 90% range) -- ALL I am trying to say is: -- You didn'y have to play to have a passion for the sport -- Most of us did not have an avenue to soccer growing up, so many did not play -- You can be a sports fan and get a passion for a game later in life -- High end players don't always make great coaches (in any sport) -- Not all pro coaches are great either -- Yes, it would be prefered if a pro coach coached your kid, but don't discount the lessons you can be taught by others at young ages.
Let me ask the question again. When you finish coaching your own kids for whatever reason did you coach any teams that did not have your kids on the team?
Uhhh, no -- I can not ice skate, but I still follow the sport. Do you have to play or coach a sport to have a passion for it?
I have seen both of the types you describe. Unfortunately the first type is way too common and it drives many top players away because they are always behind the coaches son in playing time and starting even though they are much better. The second type I have not seen very often but that can certainly ruin their kids confidence.
Lets just do the old "agree to disagree" And I'll get to work on letting all those millions who watch the NFL every week know that they're passion is unfounded because they neither play football or coach it -- So, how can they be SO interested in the game??? Some of them don't even have kids that play or coach! Heaven forbid!
Coaching rec league kiddies: no problem for a parent. And with every passing year there are more and more parents who have advanced club or college experience. Coaching a club: DoctorD's law states that a soccer club is only as good as the coach/manager's son is.
Hey Toxo, I USE to be a ball boy for the MN Vikings when I was a kid, got Bud Grants autograph and VanBrocklyn's. I still follow them to this date.
While I know some Parent coaches that create some problems because of favoritism for their child. I know more non-parent coaches that create problems because of favoritism to a manager or the child of a big sponsor. I think people are far to worried about the former, and not worried enough about the latter.
Good point. Too many players make teams, start, and play all the time over more deserving players because they are the child of a soccer club officer, sponsor to the club, the Team manager, like you say. Even if the coach is a paid professional with no kinds on the team, they have a tough time ignoring the club president (who determines who coaches the teams) when the President's kid needs a team to play on and wants to play all the time. Another area are Parent Assistant Coaches whose only reason for helping the coach is to be able to influence where and how much their kid plays.
most parents get thier kids into the sport(s) that they enjoyed growing up. not everyone's lives revolve around that sport. we have other responsiblilties that don't allow us to do the things for ourselves. my horses have taken a serious backseat to my daughter's soccer. that is fine. i enjoy soccer. i have watched 5 rec coaches and a travel coach over the past 2 1/2 years. just because i never played doesn't mean that i can't teach what i have learned. i have no desire to coach but feel i could do a good job at the 4-8ish year old level. if she stops playing..of course i would not be involved. i would move onto whatever she gets involved with next. not enough time in the day. my daughter had only one REC coach that still plays. after watching the other coaches, he is not the best coach she has had. one of the best..never played. goot go finish later..
While there are several coaches in our town travel rec soccer program who started out coaching their own kids, a few have stayed on to coach teams when their kids have moved to club soccer exclusively. Why? They love coaching the kids, and the program needs them.