On a tour of England, the Pope took a couple of days offto visit the north west coast. His 4x4 Pope-Mobile was driving along the golden sands when there was an enormous commotion. They rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Pope noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Tottenham FC jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark! At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Arsenal tops roared into view. Spontaneously, one of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Spurs fan from the water and then, using long clubs, beat the shark to deathThey bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling from the shore...... It was the Pope, summoning them to the beach. Upon reaching land, the Pope went into raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I'd heard there were racist, xenophobic people trying divide the people of North London but now I have seen with my own eyes this is not true". "I can see your society is a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations." He blessed them all and drove off. As he departed, the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that?!" "That," one answered, "was his Holiness the Pope. He is in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the harpoonist replied, "he knows f--k all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up or do we need to get another one?