Not just another "parent punches coach" story

Discussion in 'Youth & HS Soccer' started by TOTC, Nov 5, 2003.

  1. TOTC

    TOTC Member

    Feb 20, 2001
    Laurel, MD, USA
  2. blind_ref_ok

    blind_ref_ok New Member

    Nov 10, 2003
    It just sickens me to hear this. I hope the moron who assaluted the coach will recieve at a minimum a 1 year ban from any club activity. If this moron is so concerned about how much playing time she recieves in a game, he should step up and coach. Please let us know what happens to the moron and I will add the coach to our prayers. I sincerly hope he recovers without any ill effects.
  3. AndyMead

    AndyMead Homo Sapien

    Nov 2, 1999
    Seat 12A
    Sporting Kansas City
    fixed your post.
  4. OleOleOleOle2988

    OleOleOleOle2988 New Member

    May 22, 2003
    what I didnt see in the article was how much time the girl got in the quarterfinal game. or was she busy finding bail?
  5. TOTC

    TOTC Member

    Feb 20, 2001
    Laurel, MD, USA
  6. Richie

    Richie Red Card

    May 6, 1999
    Brooklyn, NY, United
    Totc was he knocked out right at the time? Was an ambulance called at that time?

    So they kept his two kids on the team after the incident, but don't play them. Better watch out that parent don't come back for the assistant coach.
  7. nurspec

    nurspec Member

    Sep 26, 2003
    new york
    I don't know what this "fathers" issue is,what amount of time he's talking about and how effective his daughter is on the field .Those are things that must be taken into consideration at crunch games.At the moment i'm in a position that may be similar to this father.That's not saying i condone what he did in any way.

    I would like your honest oppinion on what i should do about this,as i am lost for answers.
    My son joined a team recently after leaving one previous.
    I spoke to the coach about my fears of what happened to my son on a previous team,and wanted his honest oppinion of the chances it might happen on his team.He assured me that "we don't do that here......"
    The first few games he was getting used to the speed of the new game in a better division and it looked that way on the field and there was no problem with his playing time from me wahtsoever.I understood there are players who do a better job than he was doing at that time.Some weeks he would satrt when he was at this level which was good for his confidence and some he wouldn't which i was
    very happy to except.

    After 3 weeks my son started doing a lot better,he scored a couple and made a lot, and then his playing time went down.He has never started a game since that time.The coach,as regular as clockwork asks his assistant how long is left in the first half,and when there is like two minute left he would bring my son on for his first play on the field.He would start my son in the second half with the weakest kids as his support.Which meant that a pass would rarely get through to him.I believe that the coach is
    purposely limiting my son's ability to play good ,by his decisions on the field.

    I think i now realise that the coach is under pressure from the parents of the area,that their child get's to start the game regardless of their ability.You see,what i found out is that a lot of these kids have just come up from this organisations rec. league until they were ready for the Competetive team.I think the parents feel they are entitled to play before any "outsider" regardless of his ability.What do i do in this situation,our choices are very limited in our area,and i really don't think confronting the organizers will change a thing.
    Let me add,my son needs a lot of work on certain areas of his game,but no more than any other kid on the team.
  8. uniteo

    uniteo Member+

    Sep 2, 2000
    Rockville, MD
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Look I think your bringing this topic up in this thread lends your justification to his actions to some degree. But I'll offer my advice anyway for what it's worth.

    First of all, I think it is absurd when parents do not acknowledge that their is NO way they can be objective in looking at their kids talents and abilities. I coach 3 teams, 2 with my daughters on them and I try to make things equal, and am harder on my daughters in some ways than on other players, but I KNOW I can't see them in the same manner as my other kids.

    So let's start with a reality check and try to accept that the coach is probably far more accurate in his assessment of your son than you are. (And in the case mentioned, with the assaulted coach's record of success, how could anyone realistically think they had a better idea of their daughters' abilities?)

    Do coaches have favorites? Absolutely. Coaches have players who they favor for both ability and personality, sometimes both. But the two things are separate and the qualities that make a player favored are usually the reasons that they belong on the field. And your son has the ability to alter any perceptions or relationship with the coach.

    But you can only hurt his chance at playing time if you make it an issue with the coach. And if you constantly bring it up with your son that will probably only hurt his attitude in regard to practices.

    Have your son ask the coach what he can work on to get more time (not you, have your son ask). And practice it with him. But unless you have a background in the game, don't try and teach. Just go to the park or in the yard and play'll probably be fun for both of you.

    Finally, if you really feel that the two of you cannot be satisfied, you may need to look for another team. But remember, if you want a team that consistently wins, or will be high profile, the chance that your son will sit is higher and on a team where equitable playing time is stressed, the losses may pile up. Can you handle this? (I love it, I have a parent who mentioned that she'd really like to see more wins - okay, I'll start by benching your daughter, that will help - is that the response she really wants? Better left unsaid I figure)

    Switching teams is a double-edged sword, though? How often can you do it before you teach your son that the proper response to adversity is to just quit?

    I don't want to be harsh but parents make so many decisions they think are best for their kids as players that are really at odds with anything they'd teach them in other areas of life.
  9. nurspec

    nurspec Member

    Sep 26, 2003
    new york
    O.k. first off i already stated i don't condone what this father did,so that issue's dead,whatever you want to believe.The only reason i would put my hands on anyone is if they put there hands on my child in a violent or agressive manner.

    I see that as a coach yourself ,you have obviously taken the side of the coach on this issue,otherwise you would give me the benefit of the doubt.You don't know me and i'm presuming you don't know this coach in question.It's easy to see that i have given a fair account of my son's abilities and weakness,but you sem to ignore that for whatever reason.

    As of my background,i never played pro if that's what you mean.I played on the same team as a Captain of England and was offered a try-out with a second division U.K.
    team,and iv'e played the game for about 36 years.I think it's pretty fair of me to say that,i have been around a pretty good bunch of players in my time,so i think i am qualified to make certain judgements most parents are unable to make.

    If in anyway you can justify any of the things this caoch has done ,mentioned in my previous post,it would be helpful.But don't presume or generalise the situation.I am a fair person who has a realistic approach. It's not a point of me being satisfied,it's knowing waht to say to a child when he has a great game,but his time is cut more than before.

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