(NCR) Coaching Youth Soccer

So I had an indoor team a couple years ago that played up an age group (it was the youngest available that session) and lost by an average of 12-0.

Luckily one team did let us score 3 goals over the course of 2 games. That made a ton of difference. Just scoring a goal here and there was a big deal to the girls.

So if the score make it a big deal. Dont act like like you're down 5-1 act like the goal just gave you the lead. Granted they'll still know, but give the whole team a high five.

Someone else already said concentrate on making practice fun. The other thing that I think helps is the ancillary stuff, snacks after games, take them for ice cream after a practice, have a year end pizza party or something. Recognize them at the year end party for what they did well. I'm not one for participation trophies but at 4v4 you can probably come up with individual awards for each kid; hustle, defense, passing, team spirit, golden boot, etc.

 

I should clarify on the award thing.

One season I actually printed awards (this was a 4v4) that I put in some cheap frames.

Another season I just had all the top goal scorers stand up and asked the parents to applaud. Then anyone who had an assist (I tried to keep stats through the season, and specifically called out their names to stand up). Then any goalie who had a shutout. I think the whole team got to stand and be applauded for at least one. I may have invented one or two more categories, like 'top defenders' or some such.

The next season I did something similar but a few girls didn't fall into any categories and I thought they were getting old enough that I didn't have to call out all the girls. One girl, unfortunately, didn't take it very well and thought that meant I thought she didn't play well. After the fact, I had to make like I had her name down but forgot to call her out, said I was sorry, gave her a high five and clapped for her (just me). That seemed to help some.

 

Bhoy #1 grabbed his first goal of the season in a 2-1 winning effort. Dribbled (punted and chased) the defense and coolly put it into the back of the net. Was a beast on defense, too.

 

So just to follow up.

I did have the conversation with the "head coach" (i.e. the head coach for both the A team and the B team, but he really runs practices and doesn't come to many B team games) and the B team coach.

There was some improvement, enough that I stopped keeping track of playing time for a bit. She's probably averaging 15ish minutes out of a possible 50, but it's gone up and down. I don't think my daughter has ever played more than 20ish minutes.

I have gone back and forth on whether or not I want to approach the director of coaching, as the head coach is on the board for the club, so I don't think it will do much other than antagonize the coaches even more, which it somewhat appears I have done. I don't think they're taking it out on my daughter, but it does seem like there have been a couple swipes at me in team communication.

 

This might sound odd but I wasn't sure where to put it. My friend has a ten year old daughter and some of her friends are watching the game Sunday at his house. He asked me to drop by and I was going to bring a dish. What do 10 year olds eat these days? Are nuts still the devil's work or has that passed?

 

I guess my only question is what league is your daughter playing in and what level of competition? (OCL, MOSSL, BPL, TPL, GLC, Nat'l, etc. - Top Division in age group, lower?) Only reason I could imagine for not getting roughly 50% playing time is competition level is too high (which I find doubtful for a "B" level team at U9).

Here is the link to US Soccer's Player Development Strategy. I have attached the page concerning playing time for U9 level players. The link takes you to a page where you may download the whole document.

Obviously different clubs and coaches have different ideas on how closely to follow US Soccer initiatives. Seems like U9 should be about player development and not results. Too often this ignored due to Club & Parent pressures to win. Don't want you to get in a "war" with your club or coach, but from my perspective this is a major reason why the US lags behind most of the world in player development.

https://www.ussoccer.com/coaching-education/resources/us-soccer-player-development-initiatives

 

I coached two teams for years. I always began the very first practice with a little speech to all of the parents.

I told them that I had been doing this for years, and had had both terrific teams and awful teams. One memorable season I had a U9 which didn't win a single game while at the exact same time I had a U11 which rolled over everyone, won everything there was to win. And I probably enjoyed the 9's more. Those kids had heart, had smiles and every single one of them came back the next season.

Point being, while lots of coaches say this, I really, really mean it: I don't give a fart in a hurricane whether we win or lose any game or every game. My only goal, and the measure of success that I will impart to the kids, is for every one of them to learn something about soccer, about being on a team and about giving your best effort.

If a kid shows up, he will play. Period. I will try my level best to see that playing time is equally divided. I won't cheat a kid because he wasn't born as fast, maybe, as someone else, and I won't reward a child just for winning the genetic lottery. If you want that shit, go find a club team. I'd be happy to recommend a couple.

Furthermore, every kid will have the chance to play any position he wants. That's not to say that if he stinks at a particular spot that I'll leave him there all season, only that I will give him a fair shot at playing where he wants to play. The only exception is at keeper, where I won't put a kid who I think, from observation in practice, is going to get hammered. Not because we'll get beaten but because it can crush a kid and I won't permit that to happen.

But the bottom line is that I will not sacrifice one kids experience in order to win any game because a) I don't care one goddam bit about the win and b) It's not fair.

I then told them that if this didn't meet their expectations, go straight home, call the league office and tell them you want your kid on another team. It's early enough, they'll be happy to do it for you, and go with my blessing.

Invariably, every mother by this time was nodding and every father was checking his phone for the league phone number. Fortunately the mothers always won.

But of course it wasn't league policy, just my own. Just as there was no place to go if you thought I was letting a weaker kid play too much, there would have been no place to go if your kid is getting cheated.

My advice would be to check around the league, ask other parents about other coaches and then next season ask the league to put your kid on their team. If they refuse, find a new league. Rec leagues are a dime a dozen,

 

Ice cream cake or pie might also work.... My MIL loves to get DQ cakes.

 

Sort of. Those heathens swear by Taggart's.

 

Good call on the ice cream. I'm bringing vanilla ice cream, orange and cherry soda while my friend has plenty of root beer. He also has caramel and chocolate syrup for those who want a sundae. BigSoccer Crew boards. Is there any problem we can't solve?

 

It actually is a club team, not rec. And one of the other players on the team is only on it because the mom couldn't find a rec league with enough players for that age (girls U9). I know at least one does have that age, so I'm not sure how hard she looked, but they're not as prevalent as they used to be. (Big) Clubs are the norm nowadays.

My point is even clubs should be doing what you did with rec., at least in the early stages.

What good does it do to put the girl with the big foot as a sweeper where all she does is kick the ball as hard as she can? It doesn't, but this club which has assured me is primarily concerned with developing players does that with at least two of the girls. And other clubs are doing the same.

I look around and think this is crazy what we're doing to our kids. I wanted to maybe get some light running coaching for my daughter (he running form is less than ideal). But all I can find is this super serious athletic super training.

I'd rather my kids go to the local park and play pick up soccer on a regular basis than what they're doing now.

 

I agree with every word you wrote.

If this is club we're talking about, that's easy. The problem with leaving a rec league is that the kids all know everybody. Going one town over means playing with strangers.

Different case, but easy. I had a similar situation with Mookie one time. We had recently moved to the area and I found a club where I really liked the coach a lot. Guy knew his shit and I'm not easily impressed. (Actually, for the locals, it was German Family Society in Kent, which I don't think even does soccer any more)

Long story short, the coach got suspended in one of the ugliest incidents I've ever been around. He was completely innocent of everything. It ended up in Chicago with USSF. Kinsley Nyce, who was a former member of USYSA Appeals, and I flew there with him ready to kick serious ass - we were furious - but Ohio North didn't show and didn't send any of their accusations, saying that all the paperwork had all been "lost", ie they didn't dare let USSF see it or they would all have been sent to soccer jail.

And that's the short version. The long one takes an hour and would leave you gasping about the shameless perfidy of youth soccer. If you think you're cynical already, well, you ain't heard nothin.

Anyway, the guy who took over the teams, which BTW quickly disappeared but he'd already been paid off so what did he care, didn't like Mookie. They had a core group which was all from Hudson and Copley, and we were from Uniontown and so obviously were just rubes. (But of all the kids on that team, Mook went farthest in the sport; time and other clubs proved I was right and the coach was just an asshole)

They held this big meeting at GFS in Kent to spread a bunch of lies to the parents to try and persuade them to accept the new regime. I almost puked at the extent of the simply fabricated garbage they cooked up against the coach, who I didn't even know that well at the time but I don't like railroading.

At one point I managed to get the new head guy alone for a minute - actually, I was sitting at the bar sucking down Warsteiner Dunkel, which they had on tap; gotta love the Germans. I couldn't think of how to put my question but I somehow came up with the perfect phrasing:

I said to him: It has always been my observation that no place is the perfect place for everybody, and if this club is not the perfect place for my kid then please just tell me so and we'll shake hands, I'll buy you a beer and we'll go on our way.

He smiled and said "I've never heard it said any better" but still wouldn't commit, which of course told me everything I needed to know.

As a side note, a few days later I ran into an old friend who told me that original Crew legend Marcello Carrera lived in Canton and was starting a club. Two days later Mook was being taught by a truly unique and splendid Argentine legend from whom he learned, among lots of other things, that the game is about joy and love. The feeling for the game he instilled in my kid are beyond price. I can never repay Marcello for all he did.

Best thing that ever happened. I could go on about Marcello all day long.

 

Canton, Oh is full of best things happening.

 

That wasn't what the boys thought when they were running up and down the steps at the McKinley memorial. Over and over and over. Followed by a brisk 3 mile run around town. He was big on fitness.

If I had to run those suckers just once I'd need hospitalization

The freakish thing was that Marcello would lead the way, all the way.

 

Since you requested.

Transmission went out on the way back from a game just outside of Dalton. I started walking toward the closest gas station while putting out my thumb for a ride. Eventually someone pulls over. It's Marcelo himself, on his way back from a Crew match. He stopped bc I had a Hejduk jersey on and he guess I was at the game as well. Instead of dropping me off at the gas station, I was driven all the way to my house and was able to talk Crew the rest of the way while listening to some pretty cool stories (that I've since forgotten).

Marcelo Carrera is one the nicest people you will ever meet.

 

The face of a mother********ing champion. Ruthless.

 

This is Ohio. Get used to it....

 

No, the fields were about as good as you could expect for a public field. Nary a mud puddle to be found, which was probably a little disappointing for the kiddos.

OH! And we had one parent confront the league director to complain about the official for her child's game (fortunately, not ours). In a pre-SAY league. Where scores and results aren't recorded. For a tournament where every kid gets a trophy.

Ridiculous.

 

Parents are weirder than children. One parent yesterday wouldn't let her daughter go to my friend's house to watch the USWNT yesterday because there wasn't enough supervision. These girls are nine and ten and my friend thinks they should be socializing on their own.

 

The only time I'd complain about an official at that level would have to do with safety. That comes more from my experiences as a player in the O-30 and O-40 leagues, as sometimes younger refs would allow overly physical play--because that's what they were used to.