In an attempt to go 1 full day without writing something negative about revs management (as well as to make light of another losing revs record...to date......i've adapted some really lame jokes here. And, as lame as they are....it helped a bit. feel free to add your own....and look, its clean good-natured fun for the whole family..so let's try to keep it that way all right? -------- Q: Why are they replacing the turf at CMGI Field with cardboard? A: The Revolution look better on paper. -------- Q: Why Can't The New England Revolution get on the internet? A: They can't get 3w's in a row. -------- A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Metrostars fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Metro fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl. The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says, "Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Metros fan," she replied. The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well, if you are not a Metros fan, then who are you a fan of?" "I am a Revolution fan, and proud of it," Janie replied. The teacher could not believe her ears. "Janie, why pray tell are you a Revolution fan?" "Because my mom is a Revolution fan, and my dad is Revolution fan, so I'm a Revolution fan too!" "Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Revolution fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom were a moron and your dad were a moron, what would you be then?" …………"Then," Janie smiled, "I'd be a Metros fan." -------- A D.C. United fan, a Chicago Fire fan, a Metrostars fan and an Earthquakes fan climbed to the top of Mount Everest. looked over the edge in wonder. Then the D.C. fan shouts, "This is for the United!" and jumps off the cliff….the Chicago fan, not wanting to be outdone, shouts, "This is for the Fire!" and jumps to his death. Seeing the trend, the Earthquake fan looks around for a moment. Then he walks behind the Metrostars fan, gives him a big shove off the mountain, and yells, "This is for MLS fans everywhere!" -------- A Metrostars fan arrives at a football match midway through the second half. "What's the score?" he asks his friend as he settles into his seat. "Nil-nil," comes the reply. "And what was the score at half-time?" he asks. -------- A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday evening. The soccer results are coming up on the television in the corner, "Dallas 2, Revolution 1," reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice. Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that New England lost?" "Because he's a Revs supporter," the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asked what the dog says when New England win a match, to which the man replied, "I don't know. I've only had him seven years." -------- Q: How may Rev Exec's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They're too busy trying to screw their season ticket holders. (plus, the krafts only allocated 1 light bulb to the revs for the season anyway) arrrggghhhh....well, there goes the vain attempt at not writing anything negative about the organization.
Q: A DC United fan, a Metro fan and a Chicago Fire fan are all in a car. Who is driving? A: The police.
Heck, that makes as much sense to me as when a Rev staffer told me the other day that they were printing up Playoff tickets
i don't know about that. the joke has a certain metro fans as characters out of fast times at ridgemont high quality to it....that i personally find amusing.
A kid goes to school on his first day. The teacher, tying to break the ice, asks the class to state their name and what their parent or guardian does for a living. The first couple of kids give the normal reply….. my name is Rui Costa and my dad works construction….. My name is Billy Fitzgerald and my dad is a mechanic……My name is Frank Crowley and my mother is a teacher. Then small little kid, in a weak broken voice, answers my name is Michael Rooney and my father is a …nude ….dancer… in a …….Gay Bar. The teacher, shocked by the answer, quickly changes the subject and gets the class started in their academic studies. An hour passes and the class ends and the students are filing out of the class room. The teacher calls Michael back and asks him “Michael is your dad really a nude dancer in a gay bar”? The kid replies “No”…….. he is actually a professional soccer player, with the New England Revolution, ………………I was just ashamed to tell anyone.”
Great Stuff!! I've been reading the boards for years but this made me want to join in. Keep it going, we need it. See you in the Coaches Corner where it's not a corner and there are no coaches!
Mike Petke is trying to finally graduate from high school. So, the instructor says if you solve this math problem, you can graduate: What is 14-3? Petke says 9, and the rest of the Metros say, "give him another chance, give him another chance!" So the instructor says "Okay, what is 7+7?" Petke says 10. The team members say "give him another chance!" The instructor says, "OK, what is 3x3?" Petke says 9, and the rest of the Metros say "give him another chance, give him another chance!" ------------ Rob Stone comes up to Foxboro and interviews the Revs and United managers before Saturday's upcoming match. First of all he speaks to Steve Nicol. "So Stevie, what are your hopes for New England this season" asks Rob. Nicol replies "well if we can pick up a few points here and there, hopefully we can make the 8 team playoffs". Stone then interviews Ray Hudson. "So Ray what are your hopes for United this season and in the near future?" Ray replies "well, we'll win the MLS Cup, then we'll win the US Open Cup, then we'll win that Concacaf Champions Cup, then we'll head off to Europe and win the Fifa World Club Championships....". Rob Stone interrupts "Ray, don't you think you're being a bit ambitous?" "Well Stevie started it" replied Hudson.
A guy walks into an antique shop and is browsing around. A little bronze statue of a rat catches his eye, and he decides to buy it. When he is finalizing the purchase, the elderly proprietor smiles and nods his head. “That’s a very special rat, and there’s an interesting story behind it. I suppose you want to hear it.” The guy is in a hurry, so he tells the old man it will have to wait for another time. As he leaves the shop, he notices a little rat creeping out from an alley. As he walks down the street, he notices a couple more rats. After 2 blocks, he notices that he’s being followed by several rats. He starts to run down toward the waterfront, and by the time he turns around, he sees about a thousand rats chasing after him. In a panic, he runs down a pier, throws the statue into the water and leaps into a rowboat, pushing himself away from the dock with the oar. To his astonishment all the rats jump into the water and drown. The next day he goes back to the shop, where the old man is waiting for him. “I suppose you want to hear that story now?” he says. “No, actually I was wondering if you had a statue of a Metro supporter”
.....in honor of d.c.'s scorless streak -------------------- The Earthquakes have an Open Cup match against United and the boys decide to let Donovan lead the charge alone as they go to a local bar. The match starts and the boys, beers in hand, toast as Landon scores in the 7th minute to give San Jose a 1-0 lead. The t.v. is turned off as the boys begin to celebrate and then turned on again a bit later. They are shocked to find that United has tied the game in the 84th minute. They race to the stadium to help Donovan win the match and are shocked to find that they are too late -- United has scored in the 90th minute and the game has ended in victory to United 2-1. They race to the locker-room to find Landon sitting in front of his locker with his head in his hands sobbing. "What the hell happened ?" they ask. "I am really sorry I let you down," Landon sobs, "I got red carded 2 minutes into the second half!"
Someone asked me the other day, what time do the Revolution kick off? About every ten minutes I replied.
Yesterday's (Attleboro) Sun Chronicle had a cartoon called 'Big Nate' by Pierce. First Frame: Kid playing a harmonica says "I'm becoming a master bluesman." Second Frame: Second kid says, "Don't you have to SUFFER to play the blues." First kid: "Oh, I've suffered plenty, my friend." Third frame: First kid: "I lost one of my lucky socks, we're having tuna casserole for supper and my dad won't let me get a gameboy." Last frame: Second: "Catchy lyrics." First: "Plus, I'm a Revolution fan." OK, so it read, Red Sox fan, but I knew what he meant.