Welcome back to MLS: Where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Right, Jim Curtin? A full slate this week including our first taste of MIDWEEK ACTION!! I know you can hardly wait for your first Wednesday night scoreless tie! If I hadn't fallen asleep during the games Saturday, I'd be able to have better quips regarding last week's action (thanks, cocktail of Claritin and NyQuil). I hope to stay awake this week. Here's your full slate with all times in EDT, the cool time zone. Wednesday San Jose at New England - 7:30 pm - MLS Live Friday Night's a Great Night for Football Chicago at Toronto - 7:30 pm - TSN 4, TSN 5, MLS Live Saturday Montreal at Philadelphia - 1:00 pm - TVA Sport, MLS Live San Jose at Houston - 4:00 pm - UniMas, Univision Deportes Network, facebook live Vancouver at Portland - 4:00 pm - CTV, MLS Live DC United at New England - 7:30 pm - MLS Live Columbus at New York Red Bulls - 7:30 pm - MLS Live Sporting Kansas City at FC Dallas - 8:00 pm - MLS Live Atlanta at Real Salt Lake - 9:30 pm - MLS Live Sunday Orlando at New York City - 1:30 pm - FS1, FOX Deportes Seattle at Los Angeles - 4:00 pm - ESPN, ESPN Deportes Colorado at Minnesota - 6:00 pm - MLS Live The hockey and basketball playoffs are still ongoing, so we might have some conversation about that, as well as the multitude of USL games that may or may not be happening since I don't have a USL app and can't check the schedules. The Simpsons also may or may not be discussed in here. It's really the "Do what you feel" thread, which is a welcome change from the "Do as we say" thread, which was started by German settlers in 1946. As always, keep it neutral here in the play-by-play thread, and remember, "I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down! Chew on the dog!"