PBP: MLS 2017 Week 8 Continuous PBP Thread [Multiple R]

Welcome back to MLS: Where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Right, Jim Curtin?

A full slate this week including our first taste of MIDWEEK ACTION!! I know you can hardly wait for your first Wednesday night scoreless tie! If I hadn't fallen asleep during the games Saturday, I'd be able to have better quips regarding last week's action (thanks, cocktail of Claritin and NyQuil). I hope to stay awake this week. Here's your full slate with all times in EDT, the cool time zone.

Wednesday
San Jose at New England - 7:30 pm - MLS Live

Friday Night's a Great Night for Football
Chicago at Toronto - 7:30 pm - TSN 4, TSN 5, MLS Live

Saturday
Montreal at Philadelphia - 1:00 pm - TVA Sport, MLS Live
San Jose at Houston - 4:00 pm - UniMas, Univision Deportes Network, facebook live
Vancouver at Portland - 4:00 pm - CTV, MLS Live
DC United at New England - 7:30 pm - MLS Live
Columbus at New York Red Bulls - 7:30 pm - MLS Live
Sporting Kansas City at FC Dallas - 8:00 pm - MLS Live
Atlanta at Real Salt Lake - 9:30 pm - MLS Live

Sunday
Orlando at New York City - 1:30 pm - FS1, FOX Deportes
Seattle at Los Angeles - 4:00 pm - ESPN, ESPN Deportes
Colorado at Minnesota - 6:00 pm - MLS Live

The hockey and basketball playoffs are still ongoing, so we might have some conversation about that, as well as the multitude of USL games that may or may not be happening since I don't have a USL app and can't check the schedules. The Simpsons also may or may not be discussed in here. It's really the "Do what you feel" thread, which is a welcome change from the "Do as we say" thread, which was started by German settlers in 1946.

As always, keep it neutral here in the play-by-play thread, and remember, "I'll eat anything you want me to eat, I'll swallow anything you want me to swallow, so come on down! Chew on the dog!"

 

My tag game is weak? F*cking tag game is weak? You're weak. F*ck you: That's my name! You know why, mister? Because you drove a Hyundai to get here. I drove an eighty-thousand dollar BMW. THAT'S my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't close them - go home and tell your wife your troubles.

 

The fact you had to look that up just shows how weak you are. And if you have Netflix, you need to stop what you're doing right now, and watch Glengarry Glen Ross and step up your quote game.

 

While you still need to up your quote game, these are all excellent programs and movies. In the meantime, I'm gonna go get a couple hard, pipe-hitting fellas to go to work on the holmes here with a pair or pliers and a blowtorch. You hear me, Knave? I ain't through with you yet by a damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on your ass.