...in BigSoccer posts by retarded DC fans! Just when I think the Metro board becomes the Capitol of Internet Nutjob Land, the good people of the Washington area come through with this gem of a thread where Mathis is accused of assault by squirting someone with a water bottle! Somewhere along the way, it miraculously becomes "spitting" water, then eventually the thread implodes with threats of retro-active asskicking. Have a peek for yourself: https://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=74691 Classic DC...pass the marguerita mix!
Positively ridiculous. Amazing with the world so tilted in our favor it's still able to spin correctly. Mathis is a punk and shouldn't have squirted water, but it was water. He was likely trying to be cheeky, like "Oh yeah, take that!" I don't think he unleashed the merciless torrent of a 9 oz stream of sprayed water moving at 3 miles an hour with the intent of injuring anyone. Calling it assault is pretty farcical. Though, this does remind me of the Stinky incident at the last USOC game where he yelled at Franchino for 5 minutes until Joey boy got pissed and threw a water bottle at him, then Stinky cried foul. It is the player's job to take abuse gracefully, but they are human beings. Fans have to grow up too. You wouldn't go into a restaurant, call the waiter a pu$$y for 90 minutes and expect him not to retaliate by accidentally dropping your shrimp al fredo into your lap. You're not booking him for assault either. Give it a rest.
Let me come to Mathis' defense on this assault charge. Pro bono of course. The burden of proof rests with the DC United fans. Other explantions for the result complained of can be introduced to establish reasonable doubt as to the question of whether the water landing on people was caused by Clint Mathis. I maintain that the wet substance DC Fans may have felt could just as easily been the massive outpouring of tears from the crying eyes of the crestfallen DC United fans. And clearly, everyone knows that Mike Magee and his accomplice Mark Lisi were responsible for causing all that grief. DC have charged the wrong defendant! I move for acquital.
hehehe check this out if yer board enough https://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&postid=1651039#post1651039
Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... With Roger McDowell. I think the DC fans are pretty desperate for any sort of Metros downfall. Is what Clint did classless? Probably. But assault? That's just getting deperate.
I got hit with water once. If I had known it was assault I would have sued. All this working and I could have been on easy street already.
I was right there at half, section 119. He gave thumbs up to us heckling him, even slapped five with one United supporter with a smile on his face before heading down the stairs. After the ejection, more of the same thing except he squirted his h2o bottle at us and smiled. Some people threw confetti and toilet paper at him and he responded with the water. I can't see what the big deal is, but it's blown out of proportion over at the DC boards. I still like Mathis, despite him playing for the Metros and had fun heckling him both times. Like the Seinfeld reset too btw....
Okay - the idea of charging Clint with assault for spraying water is ludicrous, although it would be perfectly legitimate if he had spit (see Diouf, El-Hadji). But Clint remains the prime candidate for "most offensive" player of the year (despite Joey Franchino's jealous effort to wrest the mythical award from him). You can have the last laugh when Clint is sitting for what . . . the next 3 games? But to accuse "classic DC" of dislodging the team of "Decepticon Lazerbeak" as the preeminant board of Internet Nutjobs is just as ludicrous as accusing Clint of assault. Your board (and evidently your fans) are just strange! And don't bother denying it because most of you even consider each other to be strange. DC United - despite a too high percentage of lawyers amongst its fan base - the team with the classiest, most committed and most knowledgable fans of the MLS. (Props to Chicago fans as well. You guys are pretty impressive).
Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... Would have been legitimate had he pulled a handgun from his shorts too...but like the spitting, it didn't happen. But hey, I guess baseless speculation is a classy and knowledgable thing.
Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... ????? Who is speculating? Someone else brought up spitting earlier in the thread. That means it was not "baseless speculation". I am glad that Clint sprayed the water from his bottle and did not go a step further and take a swig and spray it on people from his mouth. That would still not be too big a deal, but it would classify as an assault and would have been bad publicity for the game. Don't be paranoid. BTW, check out the threads on the Clint/Franchino incident (especially the one entitled something like "frozen frame images . . . " I stuck up for Clint even though I support DC United. That kind of thing is an example of classy (having the objectivity to defend a player even when he is a rival) fan. The fact is that DC United has some of the best supporters groups and most knowledgable fans among MLS fans. It is pretty much indisputable. There are a few supporters groups who rival SE/BB/LN for quality (Section 8 among them), but very few who possess the consistancy, creativity and size game in and game out. DC UNITED and its legendary support, providing an example the METROSTARS and ESC can aspire to ;·).
Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... Well whoopty-freakin' do! Let's etch you in stone and put you on a pedestal!
Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... This is legendary stuff. I wish I had 30 bucks for a sig line. I tell you one thing about DC Fans that they have on everybody else in the league, they have the biggest blinders on when it comes to any DC related issue. That and they have the biggest collection of tin foil hat wearing fans. Watermelon anyone?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... You said "it would be perfectly legitimate if he had spit (see Diouf, El-Hadji)." - implying that you knew that no spitting was involved. That's where you speculated. It doesn't matter if someone else brought it up first. It doesn't change the fact that you engaged in baseless speculation in your post. I'm sure it had nothing to do with Franchino's being one of the most widely disliked players around the league by other teams' fans. You want a medal?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... There just aint no irony drums along the Potomac. Only thing worse than ur false arrogance is ur utter lack of self awareness. Damn son, have u come up so short in Life School that u don't know its impossible to be classy in reference to.... YERSELF???? Time to go pat something B-sides ur own back, Herb.
Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... Why did more DC supporters get thrown out than ESC members again?
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... Yo, Nicklebacker, save the tough talk for yer Squeaking Seagulls Yupperware Party. This just aint the place. Or try Sommer's Bar and Swill. They serve a nice juicy Last Second Loser Burger and u can wash it down with a Choke Shake. Feeling spicy? Hehehe, I hear they do a nice Deja Vu Thai Curry too. Bon Appétit, Beltway Meat
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Mathis Charged With Assault... Mike, are you going tonight? We need a ride. If you can't do it, at least bring my phone. If you need to reach me in the next two hours, I'll be at Nevada's watching United. Or I'll send you Anasuya's cell # on your PMs.
Look, there are a bunch of morons on the planet. Some of them support DC United. Some of them support Metro. Some of these morons post on our boards. They say stupid, moronic things. It's silly to say that all fans of one team are one way or another.