Dear Lahm, We just watched you against Benfica and must say you played amazing. Over the course of the year you have quickly become a crowd favourite in Germany. From amateur status a season and a half ago you have risen from obscurity to total talent. I know it worries you to come back to Bayern after your loan expires at Stuttgart but it is inevitable. Unless the Bayern board stop you from returning you will turn into diarrhea just like all the Bayern players that have been recently purchased. Don't worry though, you are still young and your future is bright somewhere else after your contract expires. Signed, Ballack, Pizarro, Hashemian, Lucio, Kovacs, Demichellis, Thiam, Frings and Rau.