LA Disease Rate Increases

Discussion in 'Columbus Crew SC' started by Chris_Bailey, Aug 15, 2002.

  1. Chris_Bailey

    Chris_Bailey Member+

    Feb 28, 2000
    Chicago
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    LA Disease Rate Increases

    by Fellatme Johnson

    Sun, beaches,...and walking STD's? In a recent V-Army study, evidence has shown that the metro area of LA has come under attack from a new strain of highly contagious STD, dubbed by most scientific experts as "Aimeritis". "Aimeritis", or as many of us that commonly visit the back alleys in which it is contracted in call it, "that itchy ************ I got after shagging' that nasty tart". In the latest Gallup poll, nearly 20% of Los Angeles homeless are believed to have this deadly disease, and there seems to be no cure. Introduced to the area last Spring (originating in a trailer park outside of Columbus, OH), Aimeritis has claimed the life of 8 men just this week, most of them claiming to be "agents." Coincidentally, most of these "agents" were founding members of the quite popular adult porn site www.bangbus.com. In a V-Army exclusive, we sent Asian reporter Wang Fuk to investigate. He had this to tell us, "It's amazing. Apparently the disease stems from one source, a host of the disease, if you will. They've named this supposed host, "Aimer". Those who contract the disease are typically of the homeless and unemployed nature, and come in contact with the carrier of "Aimeritis" while sifting through trash dumpsters, much like any Polish Ultra." As always, V-Army will bring you any current news on this horrifying rash (pun intended) of "Aimeritis".



    Late breaking news!

    In an effort to thwart the spreading of the disease, redneck Crew fans last night pummeled 5 dirty Galaxy fans, who were obviously infected with "Aimeritis". Details are sketchy, but the word is that the 5 fans are still at Riverside hospital, where they are being treated for their condition.
     

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