Hilarious Guardian article on US 'soccer'!

Discussion in 'D.C. United' started by roachboy, Nov 4, 2004.

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  1. roachboy

    roachboy New Member

    Aug 1, 2003
    Baile atha cliath
  2. Pints

    Pints Member

    Apr 21, 2004
    Charm City
    Ha, liked it the approach was nice. A good change from the usual.
    Thanks for the link.
  3. FC Tallavana

    FC Tallavana Member+

    Jul 1, 2004
    La Quinta
    What a bunch of BS!

    Not a week goes by that a school doesn't drop gridiron for soccer?!?!? Maybe there are a few small schools that don't have the enrollment for football, but this statement is absurd! Football is what allow$ schools to play other sports like soccer.

    Communities are actually trying to raise taxes to build soccer pitches?!?!? While there have been a couple of SSS built off the community dollar, this nut would have his readers believe it's more widespread. Somebody should ask this guy, "Do you know the way to San Jose?"

    To top it off, he makes his little political comments about Bush. What, did he learn all this soccer info while he was visiting Ohio while delivering the messages from Guardian readers who were asked to persuade Ohio folks to vote for Kerry (how did that work out for them anyway? :D )?

    As much as I would like to see the growth of American soccer, it won't be ushered in by Godless commies wearing hot pink spandex kits as this idiot would like his readers to believe.
  4. drew_VT_6

    drew_VT_6 Member

    Feb 22, 2000
    Orange County, CA
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    American sports are FAR more socialist than World Soccer. World Soccer is a highly indepent free market with very few guidelines as compared to American sports. I think it's a reason why more American businessmen are trying to get into the market.

    America won't become successful at soccer following the euro-socialist least common denominator ideals, it'll become successful following our American exceptionalism ideals. It'll become successful doing things differently and better than anyone ever has in the sport. It'll become successful using the "steroid fed overgrown athletes" that are just far superior to anything anyone else has.
  5. Bootsy Collins

    Bootsy Collins Player of the Year

    Oct 18, 2004
    Capitol Hill
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    You might want to get your humor detector tuned up. When you bring it in, tell the mechanic that you're having particular problems with the characteristically dry style of English humor. That may help him/her spot the problem.
  6. denver_mugwamp

    denver_mugwamp New Member

    Feb 9, 2003
    Denver, Colorado
    Interesting article. Why waste time with research when you can just make the whole thing up. Of course, if it was posted in a BS forum, people would be saying "Link? Link?"
  7. TEConnor

    TEConnor New Member

    Feb 22, 1999
    How does the article apply to DC United, and specifically, our chances this weekend? I'll admit, I'm lazy and didn't click the link, but just curious if there is a reason to follow through to read about DC.

  8. Pints

    Pints Member

    Apr 21, 2004
    Charm City

  9. SCBozeman

    SCBozeman Member

    Jun 3, 2001
    St. Louis
    Reminds me of some of Ian's articles! Btw, the chasm that he doesn't understand and frankly most people in the world can't fathom is the difference between soccer players and soccer fans. Communities DO raise money for soccer pitches (but not soccer stadiums to watch the game), other sports are lacking athletes due to soccer's following (but other sports aren't losing their viewers to rabid MLS or EPL fans), etc. It's very different.
  10. big spaniel

    big spaniel Member

    Nov 18, 1999
    Arlington, Virginia
    The Guardian is a sociailst, hysterically anti-American rag.
  11. soccerfan

    soccerfan BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 13, 1999
    New Jersey
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    MLS is run as a socialist league, no one can deny that, even if we don't like it its the way it works for now, the only way.

    If one comes to visit America, will be able to see soccer fields over soccer fields all over our land. We all know youth soccer has been growing and growing, the only sad fact is that the youth does not follow professional soccer or the world soccer for that matter, maybe a very small precentage eventualy become spectators and fans but the process is very LONGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

    i do wish he was right when he said that soccer is a plague and eating America from inside out eventualy sports like baseball, basketball and gridiron are all doomed to extinction.

    and this thread should be moved to Soccer in USA
  12. mls2atl

    mls2atl Member

    Sep 13, 2004
    Atlanta, GA
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    i think that the part about schools dropping grids in favor of soccer is true. i have attended 2 colleges in my search for a degree (which i hope i will one get). at my 1st college, university of north carolina at greensboro, they didnt have a football team because of lack of support and the big donors to the school said no, they favored soccer more. in fact our homecoming was a soccer match, and it was huge! at my next college, georgia state university, there is no football either. soccer is the main sport there too. since georgia state is in the heart of downtown there is no place to put a soccer field, the panthers have began to play at the a-league's atlanta silverbacks stadium. so i think that soccer will start to replace soccer at many schools but only the smaller colleges and universities, as for the big ones, i doubt it will ever happen because of the ncaa and their conferences.
  13. Deimos

    Deimos Member

    Apr 23, 1999
    Louisville, KY, USA
    Here's a link decrying the decrease in High School football. SF Cron

    Here's a link concerning raising taxes for more soccer fields (amoung other things) Myrtle Beach
  14. roachboy

    roachboy New Member

    Aug 1, 2003
    Baile atha cliath
    Oh F£$K.............I keep forgetting that sarcasm and irony are both totally lost on a large proportion of americans! The article is actually tongue-in-cheek, to an almost crippling degree! Pints and Bootsy are right, you obviously just don't get it.

    But while we're at it, the reason the guardian wanted to influence peoples votes in the states is becayse it DIRECTLY affects us. The US government bullies it's way around the world, so why can't we comment and try to change things??!!

    And, the guardian isn't 'rabidly anti-american' like the other guy said, only in the mind of phenominally-touchy american right-wingers. The guardian has many contributing american writers.

    Maybe you should have just told me to 'GO BACK TO RUSSIA :mad: '!!!!!

    The reason this is on DC's board is because I'm a DC fan, know many DC fans and wanted them to see the humourous article.

    Jeus, I can't even control my own sense of what's ironic now :D
  15. numerista

    numerista New Member

    Mar 21, 2004

    Don't give up on us all, my friend ... that was a great laugh in spite of the stuck piggies. This link is going into my bookmarks ...

  16. TAKK

    TAKK New Member

    Jan 28, 2004
    Westchester, NY
    As a former Republican for 20 years whose had enough of the fear mongering, isolationism, general US cluelessness about anything outside their borders, and especially the religous freaks (yes, in other countries we call people who are religous, censor driven, control minded, small minded and who want family values, terrorists and radicals - we just lump them in with the nuts) while here we praise them. It's different here of course. Our religous nuts are right! Not like theirs.

    I had no faith in Kerry, but two more years of the puppet who has failed at everything in his life, partied, was a bad parent, was weak because he had everything handed to him and then found God, and is trying to tell me how to live (a-hole) because he couldn't handle it, along with Rep Congress means bad things for us.

    Sad days ahead. Angry, fat, rich, white clueless a-holes run our country. Of course the rest of the world can't stand us. BTW - I am a white business man who has cash and I see the stupidity in Bush.

    Religion and guns in cohoots. Censorship. Stop abortion and stem cell research. Gays aren't people.
    The fat spoiled Yank in fear because their lives are so easy vote for a moron with absolutely no track record or ability or success. From the outside looking in, it isn't pretty. It's actually pathetic at this point.

    Rememeber family values were the main reason people voted for Bush. Terror two.

    The vote is religous clueless nuts here, called radicals and terrorists anywhere else, and fear because or lives are so isolated and cushy.

    The country is going backward. Unfreaking believable.
  17. T Nitty

    T Nitty New Member

    Jun 3, 2004
    huh? that's weird

    I'm not a Gaurdian reader, so maybe that's why I'm confused. Interesting piece, a little different. Is it meant to be informative or is it just for comedy? Was it making fun of soccer (by saying it's a gay sport), or was it aiming more for a political view?
  18. kravi

    kravi Member

    May 3, 2004
    Section 134
    This tail paragraph literally had me rolling around the office (I'm the only Democrat here) howling with laughter. Of course, when I showed it to my co-workers, none of them laughed. Then again, that made me laugh even more :D

  19. Pints

    Pints Member

    Apr 21, 2004
    Charm City
    Response to T Nitty:

    It was a tongue in cheek approach to what is quite obvious to most, that the "majority" of sports fans in the USA do not think of soccer as a real sprt and that a portion of people in the US consider the borders of the US as "the ends of the earth" I think the bit about calling Red Sox world champions says it all. Plain and simple although many on these BS baords think of soccer/football as the best sport in the world, most of the US population thinks of it as a boring/girlie/stupid/ sport. Long story short, for those with a broken sarcasm antennae. The sport most US citizens ignore is creeping up on them. Anyhow...back to the matter at hand


    Seeing as there more important issues for DC right now this thread should be moved to the Soccer in a America thread me thinks. show of hands?......
  20. nancyb

    nancyb Member

    Jun 30, 2000
    Falls Church, VA
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Georgia State has never had football. They do, however, have a great radio station. Sure warped my musical perspective.
  21. revelation

    revelation Member+

    Dec 17, 1998
    FC St. Pauli
    FC Sankt Pauli
    Mod Note: I'm taking a hard line here. Enough with the Off-Topic stuff in the DC UNITED FORUM! If you want to discuss your general soccer related stuff, there are other fora to have those valuable discussion. However, this forum is dedicated to MLS EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL-BOUND DC UNITED AND THE BEST FANS IN MLS THAT WILL BRING US SUCCESS ON SATURDAY OVER THE FILTH FROM FOXBORO!

    Thread closed!

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