Since its the offseason and Stewie is definately a Fire fan POst your favorite Family Guy quites here. My first one Lois Griffin: What's going on? Stewie Griffin: We're playing house. Lois Griffin: The boy is all tied up. Stewie Griffin: Roman Polanski's house.
Here are a couple more Peter Griffin: This party couldn't be better if Jesus was here. Jesus: For my next miracle, I will turn water... into FUNK! [set turns into disco] And because Quagmire rules: Quagmire: Hello there, cutie! How old are you? Girl: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? You're first! Girl: MOM! Quagmire: I like where this is going. [hitting on a girl waiting in line for a roller coaster] Glen Quagmire: Hello there! You must be *this* beautiful to ride the Quagmire!
Yeah I am very bored, though things are really going well today. I will be done in 10 minutes then I can go rock and roll.
Stewie: NO Sprinkles!!! God help you if I find sprinkels!!! FOR every sprinkle I find I shall kill you!!!
For Stewie's 1st birthday party... Peter:Now Lois, that Cheesy Charlie's is no good. (Cut to big evil-looking castle) (Peter walks in) WaiterHas horns and tail)Hi, welcome to Cheesy Charlie's. Heil Hitler! Peter:Ahhh! Um, I'd like to schedule for a birthday party. Waiter:Well good, let me tell you about our facilities. We have a great package that comes with your choice of ice cream:Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry or people. Peter:What was that last one? Waiter:Chocolate. Peter:Well, what else do you have? Waiter:Well, as you can see, we have a wide array of entertainment for your children. (See children on torture devices, spikes, iroon maidens, razor pendulems) Waiter:And if you get enough tickets, you earn a prize! Kid:I have 12 tickets. What can I get? Clerk:Oh, I'm sorry Bobby, you need 13 tickets to live. (Kid falls through floor) Peter:Mister, I'm sorry, but I love and respect my wife too much to have her son's birthday party here. Waiter:Well thats too bad, because you'll be staying here anyway! (Peter gets cuffed to a chair) Peter:Oh, don't get me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. (Turns into Hulk and busts out) Loiseter stop it, your story is getting ridiculous.
I'm partial to the scene where Brian is on trial for paternity and the prosecuter is grilling him about his video rentals. Brian: Those were for Peter! They stopped letting him rent because he taped over all the movies. (cut to couple watching Citizen Kane) Orson Wells: Rosebud... (cut to Peter) ...Was a sled. It was his childhood sled. There. I just saved you two boring, boobless hours
Peter: heffffffff ahhhhhhhh Peter: heffffffffff ahhh Peter: heffffffffffffffffff ah Peter: hefff ahhhhhhhhhhh Peter: heff ahhhhhhh Peter: heffffffffffffff ahhhhhhhhhhhh Peter: hefffffffffffff ahhhhhhhhhhh
You're asking whether Sesame Street has done an episode where the Count kills someone, and drinks their blood for sustenance. Yeah. No, Peter, they've never done that.
Peter Griffin: I'm looking for some toilet training books. Salesman: We have the popular 'everybody poops", or the less popular 'nobody poops but you'. Peter Griffin: Well, you see, we're Catholic... Salesman: Ah, then you'll want 'you're a naughty, naughty boy, and that's concentrated evil coming out the back of you'.
this is the episode wehre meg gets a prada bag and stewie is in a nursing home cause hes a crack addicted baby. Peter: Hey...hey kids...I'm..I-I'm Santa Claus...just practicing for Christmas. Indian Baby: But, you are white! Jack and Sarah told me Santa is Indian. African Baby: Don't be stupid! Santa is black! Indian Baby: Santa can't be black. We do not fear him. Chinese Baby: Cram it, Ghandi! Santa is Asian. Spanish Baby: How can he be Asian? Santa doesn't drive his sleigh 20 miles under the speed limit with his blinker on! Go back to your rice paddy, Mulan!! *children fighting* Peter: Come on Stewie, we're out of here. Stewie: Dance puppets, dance!