Expansion team names

Discussion in 'MLS: Expansion' started by bojendyk, Oct 21, 2004.

  1. bojendyk

    bojendyk New Member

    Jan 4, 2002
    South Loop, Chicago
    After reading thread after thread in which bigsoccer types rail against expansion team names/Dallas FC for being "too European" or "too Mexican" or "totally dumb" or "not American enough," I thought it was time to do something.

    We know that Peter Wilt reads these pages, so I assume plenty of the brass in MLS do as well. Therefore, it would be helpful for us to come up with a list of names for future expansion teams. Here is my list of team names that are certain to go over very, very well with bigsoccer addicts.

    The Pittsburgh Ninjas
    The Sante Fe Paladins
    The Tulsa Rootin' Tootin' Cowboys
    The Omaha Samurai
    The Myrtle Beach Seventh-Level Magic Users
    The Houston American USAs
    The Portland Molestin' Catholics
    The Dakota Wyyld X-tremes
    The Spokane Cobras
    The Salt Lake City Highlanders
    The Sacramento World Trade Center Victims (in honor of the victims of 9-11)
    The Phoenix Totally Rad Awesomes
    The Springfield Drunk Injuns (in honor of our country's American Indian traditions)
    The Butte Army Wrecker Boyzz
    The Youngstown Sokkerz

    Please feel free to add your suggestions.
  2. fidlerre

    fidlerre Moderator
    Staff Member

    Oct 10, 2000
    Central Ohio
    Joke or not, this isn't funny what--so--ever.
  3. neilgrossman

    neilgrossman New Member

    May 12, 2000
    Hoboken, NJ
    I actually like Cobras. MLS could definitely use a snake name. If they didn't already have a DC-area team, I'd suggest Snakeheads.
  4. Dignan23

    Dignan23 Member+

    Jul 6, 2001
    Fort Vancouver, WA
    Portland Timbers
    Cleveland Steamers.
  5. bojendyk

    bojendyk New Member

    Jan 4, 2002
    South Loop, Chicago

    The joke was more about the shallowness and ubiquity of 9-11 references by politicians, the media, artists, etc. But now that I look at it again, yes, you're right. There is probably a funny way to have made that joke, but mine wasn't it.
  6. bojendyk

    bojendyk New Member

    Jan 4, 2002
    South Loop, Chicago
    For the record, the other names are still funny. :D
  7. Saeyddthe

    Saeyddthe Member

    Sep 5, 2003
    St. Looney ^the CB&J
    You forgot...

    Atlanta Burn
    Philadelphia Freedom
    Miami Refugeez
    E.S.T. Seattle - (Elementary School Teachers)
    London Monarchs
    Green Bay Packers
    New Orleans Flood
    Beverly Hillbillies
    San Francisco Butch
    Avis Orlando
  8. RedMenace

    RedMenace New Member

    Jun 20, 2004
    Palo Alto, CA
    How about just naming them after the city and leaving off the frickin corny nickname? I think those names turn off a lot of potential fans (at least at first, until you're so used to it that it becomes irrelevant), even in the big leagues like NFL, and don't do anything at all to gain fans. It's not like I'm going to say "gee, I live in San Jose, but I think I'll be a fan of Dallas instead because I like the name "Burn" better than "Earthquakes", or, "gee, I don't like soccer and even if I did I'd like watching English soccer better cause it's prettier, but just because this team in Los Angeles is called the "Galaxy", which I think is SOOOO cool, I'll watch them". I mean, I couldn't care less if they were called the "Tulips" or the "Bumblebees" or the "Wankers" or the "Street Trash". They all sound equally stupid, and all add nothing at all to the appeal of the team. It's just more typically dumb American "marketing" of sports that implies that the sport itself isnt interesting enough on its own to attract any attention, so that they need dumb names and logos and mascots and cheerleaders and stand-up-comedians as announcers.
  9. Sempuukyaku

    Sempuukyaku Member+

    Apr 30, 2002
    Seattle, WA
    Seattle Sounders
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Here are some names I'd like to see (seriously):

    AC Miami
    Emerald City FC
    Detroit City FC
    Revolution FC (drop the New England moniker)
    Galaxy FC (drop the Los Angeles moniker)

    I'm trying to think of a good one for Colorado but I'm having a hard time coming up with one.
  10. Khansingh

    Khansingh New Member

    Jan 8, 2002
    The Luton Palace
    Normally, I'd tell you to keep dreaming because the league would never be so stupid as to allow those names. But they've just demonstrated that they're even more stupid than I would have ever imagined, so who knows?
  11. bojendyk

    bojendyk New Member

    Jan 4, 2002
    South Loop, Chicago
    Wait a sec, do you think I proposed "Seventh-Level Magic Users" et al. as serious names?
  12. Sempuukyaku

    Sempuukyaku Member+

    Apr 30, 2002
    Seattle, WA
    Seattle Sounders
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    You mean my names?

    If you're referring to mine, then to each his own, but I think my names are pretty cool.
  13. Khansingh

    Khansingh New Member

    Jan 8, 2002
    The Luton Palace
    I would've said forget about it because the league wouldn't give a team a non-nickname for no other apparent reason than to pander to a certain group of fans. I can't think of any other reason for what's transpired in Dallas and Salt Lake City, so that shows what I know. I guess that whatever I think of your ideas is irrelevant because the league is willing to use them. I never thought they would. But like you said, to each his own.
  14. Foots

    Foots Member

    Jan 7, 2002
    Ellicott City, MD
    DC United
    I wouldn't change Colorado's name. I think it is one of the best in MLS. It rolls off the the tongue nicely.
  15. skyscraper

    skyscraper Member

    Dec 6, 2003
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    this is a truly bizarre thread.
  16. Mikey mouse

    Mikey mouse Member

    Jul 27, 1999
    Charleston, SC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    There was a hockey team out of Macon, Georgia that played in the ECHL called the Macon Whoppie....Their mascot was a whopping crane Had to be the most interesting sports name Ive seen.

  17. Lithium858

    Lithium858 Member

    Aug 11, 2002
    Baton Rouge
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    San Diego Sockers (i need to get over it lol) ;)
  18. Brian in Boston

    Brian in Boston Member+

    Jun 17, 2004
    MA & CA, USA
    Yes, you're absolutely right: we Americans know nothing about marketing, particularly when it comes to applying its principles to the promotion of major professional sports. For instance, if the National Football League could just learn something about modern pro sports marketing and merchandising from the EPL. Well, then I'm sure that the NFL would probably become the most well-marketed and profitable professional sports entity on the face of the planet. :rolleyes:

    Hey... you may not like the North American tradition of slapping a nickname on a pro sports team as part of the branding of said franchise, but face facts: nobody knows marketing - particularly of pro sports - like Americans do.

  19. Calexico77

    Calexico77 Member

    Sep 19, 2003
    Mid-City LA
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I think the Revolution should just stop f-ing around and call themselves the "New England Patriots that Play Soccer FC".

    Or maybe the "Red Soxxers" or something.

    I'm also thinkin' half the people in this thread didn't get the first post.

    Hmmm, I still like "Los Angeles Galatasarayaxy" or

    "AC Sporting Miami 2004 FC Junior's" or somethin.

    Pittsburg Ninja's rocks. . .
  20. JasonC

    JasonC New Member

    May 21, 2001
    Billings, Mont.
    I agree with this.

    Then our team could run out to the strains of James Brown's "Livin' in America."

  21. Ikari

    Ikari Member

    Jun 11, 2003
    Las Vegas, NV
    I'd be all for a team named the Ninja's so long as we have a team named the Pirates.
    It would make for the best headlines, "NINJAS VS PIRATES TONIGHT!" :D
  22. WVKeeper

    WVKeeper Member

    Jun 20, 2002
    Charlotte Suburbs, SC
    Pittsburgh Riverhounds
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    Pittsburgh has a freakin "h" , unless of course your talking about Pittsburg, Kansas
  23. PYordan

    PYordan New Member

    Aug 31, 2002
    Pamplona, Spain
    In keeping with the in-vogue single word names, should New Orleans ever get a team I think it definately needs to be called the "New Orleans Clap"
  24. fordfjord

    fordfjord Member

    Mar 4, 2004
    Houston, Texas
    Corinthians Sao Paulo
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I wouldn't doubt it for a minute. And we could part with league custom and instead use some combination of red, white and/or blue... :D
  25. SC in SF

    SC in SF Member

    Nov 18, 2004
    Detroit City FC

    Why not just leave it as Detroit, there is no City after the name Detroit. It's like saying "I'm from Detroit City, where are you from?" "I'm from the City of Detroit." :confused:

Share This Page