ESPN2 Blackout?

Discussion in 'Chicago Fire' started by Rowdies 71, Nov 7, 2003.

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  1. voros

    voros Member

    Jun 7, 2002
    Parts Unknown
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Here's a checklist:

    When a stranger says "Berrrrrrrrrr-Wyyyyyyyyyyn" when the suburb of Chicago is mentioned, you understand the reference.

    The name Betty Loren Maltese evokes laughter.

    You have a driver's license but haven't driven a car in a year and a half.

    (As another poster shows) You know Empire Carpets' phone number by heart and at least twice, as a joke, have given it to a friend as your own.

    You know who fathered Joan Esposito's child.

    You refer to CTA buses as the Green Limousine, even though they aren't green.

    There's no such thing as "Chicago Style Hot Dogs." There are only Hot Dogs and things you'd never eat in a million years.

    You know who Uncle Lar' and Lil' Tommy are and remember at least three Animal Stories.

    Mayor Daley corresponds to two different people.

    You remember Wicker Park as a slum instead of a trendy near northwest neighborhood.

    You think the following are All-American names: Kowalski, D'Angelo, O'Malley, Schmidt, Ramirez, Theopolous, etc.

    Anytime Chicago is used as a location in a movie, you can immediately spot it in the first minute on screen.

    Your parents took you to Bozo's circus and the magician guy (extra Chicagoan street-cred if you remember his name) creeped you out.

    You had a 312 area code for your phone number at one time (extra points if you could call the suburbs within the same 312 area code).

    Comiskey Park was a classic charming old-time baseball park.

    You remember when Soldier Field had artificial turf.

    Softball isn't played with gloves.

    You have irrational amounts of anger over what happened to Maxwell Street.

    You think Pat Foley is the greatest sports announcer in the history of the earth.

    Answer the following:

    Murray Bannerman is:

    a) A famous Chicago businessman
    b) A famous Chicago politician
    c) A drunken hockey goalie.

    You think most streets in the world travel in either east-west or north-south directions in direct straight lines and don't ever curve.

    You think most side-streets go through.

    When someone says they live on East Whatever Street, it surprises you.

    You are in possession of a CTA token.

    If a grocery store is two miles away, you think it's too far to go to.

    The distance between your and your Neighbor's house is less than 10 feet.

    The distance between your apartment building and the one next door is less than 10 inches.

    If you got 15 or more right, you're officially a Chicagoan.

    10 to 14 and you're on the borderline. Your assignments for the next month are: tour the Vienna Beef factory and eat at a Harold's Chicken Shack. Memorize Empire Carpets' phone number. Play several games of 16 inch softball (bonus points if you volunteer to play third base, minus many points if you bring a glove). Do not spend any money in any business that is part of a national chain. Tour the water reclamation department (you learn a lot about the city by learning about it's water and the history of its water). See the U-Boat at the Museum of Science and Industry. Have an hour long conversation with a homeless guy, he'll enjoy the company and you'll enjoy the conversation. Complete these tasks and you're in.

    9 or less right? You're an oustider. Welcome to our city and enjoy your stay for as long as it is.

    I apologize to any I offended or failed to amuse.
  2. GPK

    GPK BigSoccer Supporter

    Aug 5, 1999
    San Diego, CA
    Chelsea FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    I think he meant "you're an idiot" ;)
  3. Mad Header

    Mad Header Member

    Mar 8, 2001
    Mt Prospect
    I was born and raised in the city and never minded "Chitown" - I've used it myself. This is the first I've heard that it bothers anyone. I do, however, hate when people refer to the Cubs as the "Cubbies." That one really makes my skin crawl.
  4. voros

    voros Member

    Jun 7, 2002
    Parts Unknown
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I know full-bred Chicagoans who call them the Cubbies all the time. They're White Sox fans, of course, but Chicagoans. :)
  5. Hosscat

    Hosscat New Member

    Jul 21, 2003
    Shizzle my dizzle nizzles...... Go D-town!!
  6. total_football

    total_football Member+

    Apr 2, 2002
    Arsenal FC
    Well, the other thing that always seemed embarrassing was when everyone called the greater Chicago Metropolitan Area "CHICAGOLAND".

    This ain't no amusement park!
  7. krolpolski

    krolpolski Member+


    c) A drunken hockey goalie. [Pat Foley] B-a-n-n-e-r-m-a-n![/Pat Foley]
  8. alf

    alf Member+

    Jun 29, 1999
    Chicago Red Stars
  9. HalaMadrid

    HalaMadrid Member

    Apr 9, 1999
    Wizzo was creepy as hell.

    Wait...he isn't?

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