"WELLINGTON, New Zealand (Reuters) -- A pod of dolphins circled protectively round a group of New Zealand swimmers to fend off an attack by a great white shark, media reported on Tuesday." http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/asiapcf/11/22/nz.dolphins.reut/index.html Dolphins never cease to amaze me.
We've been poo-pooing around them when we fish for tuna, it's about time they held up their end of the bargain.
What these dolphins don't recognize is that by helping, humans never become self-sufficient in fighting sharks themselves. Until this glorious day takes place, the Bush administration has proposed a plan of giving the sharks 23 billion dollars in tax relief in exchange for voluntarily limiting their human consumption, the numbers being determined by the "Great White Shark / Slow Swimming Food Benevolent Cooperation Society" political action committee at a later date.
You do know that the administration was following a WTO ruling after Mexican fishermen protested that meeting the "dolphin-safe" guidelines was an unfair competitive practice? We were actually on the right side of something environmentally for once and the WTO fvcks us over. Unfortunately it's premium content, but The Onion article "Dolphins Evolve Opposable Thumbs: Oh Sh!t says Humanity" was one of the best ones ever.
The strange aspect of this story is that if the swimmer hadn't been protected by defensive dolphins, but instead by the Dolphins defense, he'd be shark poop right now.
Dolphins get too much love. I bet they lead sharks to feast on helpless humans lots of time, its just you don't get to hear about it because all the witnesses are eaten.
It's well known that dolphins, like Jews, control a large segment of the media and we therefore don't hear about how evil they are. A dolphin once bit my sister.
Stan: Dude, dolphins aren't stupid. They're intelligent and friendly. Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.
Your trouble is in assuming that dolphins don't read the internet. Watch you don't get a "chum" sign mysteriously pasted onto your ass the next time you're body surfing.