A New Map of North America

Discussion in 'Politics & Current Events' started by GringoTex, Aug 15, 2002.

  1. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    In the future, all political discourse on North America not in accordance with the following map created by amerifolklegend shall be expunged from the forum.

    Thank you.

    [​IMG]
     
  2. Alberto

    Alberto Member+

    Feb 28, 2000
    Northern, New Jersey
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    Okay clue me in as to what the redistricting means and what are the names and capitals.
     
  3. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    Re: Re: A New Map of North America

    According to afl (and I concur), North America has a superfluous number of boundaries. All continental cultures can essentially be assigned to one of 8 different superstates:

    Texas.
    The Mexico.
    Pacific Northwest.
    The Midwest.
    Dakota.
    Vegas.
    Franklin.
    Canada.

    I know not not the capitals, although I'm pretty sure my home of Scurry County is Texas'.
     
  4. spejic

    spejic Cautionary example

    Mar 1, 1999
    San Rafael, CA
    Club:
    San Jose Earthquakes
    This is lame. There are really 3 states.

    West (the coastal 1/3 of California, Oregon and Washinton)

    East (the coast from Atlanta north, then east along the rust belt to Chicago)

    Middle (everything else)
     
  5. Ian McCracken

    Ian McCracken Member

    May 28, 1999
    USA
    Club:
    SS Lazio Roma
    Nat'l Team:
    Italy
    I divide the United States into seven provinces:

    The Kookland Regions (mid & northern CA, WA, OR)

    North Mexico (southern CA, parts of AZ & NM)

    The Heartlands (Great Lakes, Midwest, Plains, TX)

    Mountain West (west US, excluding the Kooklands)

    Dixie Americana (Southeastern states)

    Beltway East (NY/NJ/DC/MA & rest of northeast)

    New Kooklands (Florida)
     
  6. ONE

    ONE Member

    Aug 11, 2000
    NOLA
    why is this a sticky thread?
     
  7. houstonmls

    houstonmls Member

    Aug 11, 1999
    Dallas
    because BBQ is meant to be beef and Texas kicks your ass.
     
  8. LongJohn

    LongJohn New Member

    Nov 23, 2001
    nicey
    ok, everyone versus red and orange.

    let's wipe em off the map. green gets to keep orange and build amusement parks there. Blue gets to keep red and use it as a wasteland.

    GET READY BOYS, WE'LL FINISH WHAT WE STARTED IN 1861.
     
  9. The original version of this map came from a 20+ year old political tome "The Seven Nations of North America" or something like that. A college friend of mine was a big beliver in the whole thesis.
     
  10. CrewDust

    CrewDust Member

    May 6, 1999
    Columbus, Ohio
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Need to merge Texas and Oklahoma.
     
  11. Colin Grabow

    Colin Grabow New Member

    Jul 22, 1999
    Washington, DC
    Canada just keeps getting bigger and bigger. Megalomaniacs.
     
  12. obie

    obie New Member

    Nov 18, 1998
    NY, NY
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    As a Northeasterner I'd go for this. Really. We'll probably have to build a tunnel to the Pacific Northwest eventually to rescue our Oregon and Washington brethren, but otherwise it's cool.

    Just remember that Mathis lives here now and you can't have him back for '06 qualifying.

    Tip for the Purple People in the Midwest -- trade South Bend, Indiana to Canada for Chicago.
     
  13. TheWakeUpBomb

    TheWakeUpBomb Member

    Mar 2, 2000
    New York, NY
    Club:
    Seattle Sounders
    Ha. Fat chance. Given the choice, I'm pretty sure Mathis comes back down here to play. But who knows? Maybe you guys could make a run at Michael Ricketts.

    I think we get Freddy Adu, too.
     
  14. obie

    obie New Member

    Nov 18, 1998
    NY, NY
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Mathis will never give up the West Paterson bachelor pad. Besides, where would he rather play: in some cold, forbidding SEC stadium with the gridball lines still visible, or the spanking new 30,000-seat Noam Chomsky Ground in our "spiritual capital" of Cambridge, MA?

    We get Twellman, too. And as far as GKs go, we could do much worse than Howard.
     
  15. Auriaprottu

    Auriaprottu Member+

    Atlanta Damn United FC USOpenCup Champions
    Apr 1, 2002
    The back of the bus
    Club:
    Atlanta
    Nat'l Team:
    --other--
    Actually, Dixie Americana should be the Kooklands. You're just one "K" short of journalistic accuracy :)
     
  16. Colin Grabow

    Colin Grabow New Member

    Jul 22, 1999
    Washington, DC
    I assume that it will be de rigeur to always boo the home team at this venue. :)
     
  17. Auriaprottu

    Auriaprottu Member+

    Atlanta Damn United FC USOpenCup Champions
    Apr 1, 2002
    The back of the bus
    Club:
    Atlanta
    Nat'l Team:
    --other--
    Give me time to pack all my belongings in a burlap sack and go. Then you can have at 'em. Just leave the buildings standing this time- I want the big house in Montgomery.
     
  18. obie

    obie New Member

    Nov 18, 1998
    NY, NY
    Club:
    New York Red Bulls
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I must say, that's very, very funny.

    Instead of an away section, maybe we can have a permanent "protest section" where PETA and NOW can set up booths. Or maybe the stands will be segmented by gender preference. We'll probably need a little bit of both. But whatever happens on the field, the result will always be decided by committee. Hence, matches will take 8-10 hours, depending on when the guy with the pitas & hummus shows up.

    Who would be the Presidents for each of these new countries? People from each place should nominate their leaders....

    Northeast: New Democrat Bill Clinton, freed from the term limit shackles of the old USA Constitution and the morals of the midwest and south, and with the massive support of minorities and the District of Sopranovia (formerly New Jersey), comes back to win in a tight race over Traditional Democratic candidate and ex-wife Hillary Rodham. Clinton's Vice President is Michael Bloomberg, who again switched political affiliations in order to further himself, what with the Republican Party behind the Greens in popular support.
     
  19. Colin Grabow

    Colin Grabow New Member

    Jul 22, 1999
    Washington, DC
    Nice sig BTW, but I like this quote better:

    "Kids are little immature f***ing idiots. They'll buy anything."
     
  20. Dan Loney

    Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 10, 2000
    Cincilluminati
    Club:
    Los Angeles Sol
    Nat'l Team:
    Philippines
    The real 7 States of America:

    1. Downtown
    2. East LA
    3. Westside
    4. The Valley
    5. Orange County
    6. Vegas
    7. Everything else
     
  21. joseph pakovits

    joseph pakovits New Member

    Apr 29, 1999
    fly-over country
    The Peoples Democratic Republic of Chicago will be an independent city-state a la medieval Venice under our Precious Leader Richie "Don't Call Me Jong-Il" Daley.
     
  22. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend New Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    That's not Canada.

    Acording to my plan, Canada will cease to exist - it's french speaking population given two options: Speak American or be sent to the penal colony located just north of Pacific Northwest.

    More to come...
     
  23. Colin Grabow

    Colin Grabow New Member

    Jul 22, 1999
    Washington, DC
    I'm for it!
     
  24. amerifolklegend

    amerifolklegend New Member

    Jul 21, 1999
    Oakley, America
    In a nationwide survey conducted sometime late monday morning, people around the country were asked their opinion of the nation's two largest completely self absorbed areas of the country; Los Angeles and Texas.

    It seems that while Texas is just a flat piece of dusty, cattle-farmed wasteland, people in general kinda like Texas and their ego-centric ways.

    However, Los Angeles is a different story. It seems that the average American uses the rather befitting phrase "disease-plagued, foreigner-infested, scourge-of-the-earth, gangland, filth-and-smog cornucopia, deserved of nothing more than to be pressure washed like a piece of stale gum off the clean, cracked Californian sidewalk that runs alongside the superhighway that is America."

    Interesting survey, really.

    Anyway, given this information, we have decided that at best, LA gets nothing more than to be lumped into the great state of Vegas.
     
  25. GringoTex

    GringoTex Member

    Aug 22, 2001
    1301 miles de Texas
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Bolivia
    You must be sure to consolidate this info at some point so that I can paste it into the first post.
     

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