Anyone heard of this yet? Coaches of youth clubs meeting with parents in order to gauge whether they (parents) will be good for the team/club? I suppose this is a means to root out the cancerous parents (which we all have had to endure). I understand that colleges are now as well looking at this method. So - anyone experience or heard of it yet?
Hadn't heard of it, but I love it. The last few college games I've attended have featured a steady stream of nonsense shouted from the parents. You'd think having kids excel in the sport for several years would make something sink into their brains, but apparently not.
That's a brilliant idea, but I'd love to see how it works in practice. A meeting is one thing, but seeing how parents act in a game situation can be completely different. I'm with Beau on this. One of my daughter's HS teammates last year had played for years and ended up being co-player of the year for their league. Her dad attended all the games and still couldn't tell what was offsides (ok, many can't) and believed that any time a player fell to the floor, it was a foul. But that didn't stop him from yelling constantly.
Mixed feeling… In theory, I get where it is coming from and how it’s trying to be a good idea… YET, it sounds elitist as hell…and I tend to think it’s an overthought and over executed answer to a rather small problem (relatively speaking)… Clubs/team should better teach proper parental behavior and actually confront and deal with individuals who can’t or refuse to meet expected standards…
This is nothing new. I helped my father with try-outs for a club team in the early 1990s...25 years ago. He shared that the family dynamics were as important as the technical skills when evaluating players. There was one player who couldn't be good enough to make the team given the toxicity the family brought. It was also a consideration on the other side - a borderline kid from a great family who brought positivity and weren't just 'takers' might have a push in his/her favor.
I am not sure why you would consider or think it's elitist in anyway. The point is not to keep out those who are not elite but instead those who may be a potential cancer to a team. I think we all have been there - on that team with that parent who is constantly yelling - sometimes at your kid. I do agree however - that clubs should be instilling a sense of respect in parents - educating them to learn from the happiness of their player alongside their individual progression of skill and passion for the game - away from just wins vs loses. So while I see where it can work, I also see that a club which holds this issue with high regard, can ultimately reach the same result while educating parents at the same time.
I'm sure that most clubs have a parent code of conduct that needs to be signed and most parents only casually look it over before signing. Funny story, though. When my U13 daughter started playing at U11 with her current club, she took the time to read it over. Originally, there were a list of rules (contact with coaches, punctuality, etc.) and rule #13 surrounded parent coaching from the sidelines. If I had a nickel for every time I heard her say "Rule 13, dad" I could be retired by now!! Even today, she'll bring it up about so-and-so's dad not living by rule 13. I have advocated a one hour parent training class on basic rules and tactics before each season, which may be more palatable than "trying out" parents. It seems like a small amount of time for the club to invest in order to avoid potential parent issues down the road.
Yeah, my younger son is U-18; there are STILL parents yelling stupid stuff, complaining about the ref, etc. They never learn, and they never grow out of it.
The problem with truly cancerous parents, though, is that they aren't always the yellers. They're the ones who start whispering campaigns on the sidelines. Or constantly find a way to turn a conversation about how the game is going into a talk about "weaker" players. Etc. The yellers are obnoxious, but in my experience the truly cancerous parents are more devious and low-key.
The ones that explore options at other clubs for their kid (while the season is going on) and then trying to recruit the 6 players better than their kid to go with them to make a truly great team.
Parental interviews sounds like something elite daycare centers/prep schools/etc. do to, you know, make sure only the right kind of people are let in…I understand the good intentions behind such a suggestion; I just think the perception is going to be quite different… Yeah, we’ve all seen it that parent…hell, I’ll even take it further, and said many us have probably been that parent to some extent at one time or another…I don’t think we should coddle or excuse such behavior, but I am not sure we should expect prefect behavior right out of the gate…I guess I prefer an educational over a barrier approach to this problem… Yes, yelling from the sidelines is bad, annoying, and can be cancerous, and so are a lot of other parental behavior that is lot more subtle and less obvious, and are just, if not more cancerous to a team…
It's possible, though, that merely HAVING a parental screening process could have a good effect. Set a tone/establish expectations; that sort of thign.
Perhaps, but I would still prefer a mandatory parental educational class to set the tone…far more practical than some kind of individual screening process… And I still think you are inviting a PR nightmare with such a screening process…
I think more refs should take a harder line on parents yelling at them or even in general when it is overly negative. Maybe a discussion with the coach during half time or after the game. That said my older u17 has had NASTY games with opposing parents yelling everything under the sun. IMO refs should stop the game and warn the parents. Next is another stoppage with the guilty parties being sent to the parking lot before play continues and along with it a final warning that if the nonsense continues their team will forfeit the match.
Yes this as well. I suppose maybe these screenings have a way of fishing them out but frankly I am not sure how. Eventually word gets around though and the coach/club can and should do something about it IMO.
I would as well. But some clubs do not have the resources. Some clubs are also on about winning but yet don't want parents who want to be like tha I don't agree with the nightmare - just the opposite in fact (IMO). But I do agree more time needs to be spent on parent conduct meetings at the start of the season along with monitoring of what's going on - on the sidelines from the coaches. That does work but the expectation has to be clear and the reactions of the coaches to these issues must be consistent... In other words you cannot say "We'll bench the players of parents who conduct themselves poorly" and then not bench the best players with poor behaving parents because you want to win the game(s).
As a ref, I've always been tempted to jog over to the sidelines at tell the parents "You might want to take it down a few notches, because, even though you can't hear it, the players are saying to one another "I wish they would shut up already."
I don't have a problem doing it, but I cannot antagonize them. I need to remain professional and ask/tell/dismiss etc. It takes all my power not to be a wise-ass back to them. My bigger point is, i don't care what they are saying. Really I don't. But the players CRINGE when they hear an adult getting on the referee or making stupid comments. Their yelling has zero effect on me, but it is outright detrimental to the players that they are yelling in 'support of (especially a female team).
Coaches…nuts…many times they’re the worst offenders…just this weekend up in Chicagoland, I saw an opposing coach throw his chair in anger at his own players (not at at his players) and another coach who loudly berated the ref and demanded a Yellow Card after every single foul…just normal playing hard fouls; it was ridiculous …and yet not so ironically, it was some of his players who end playing cheap and dirty, and ended up with only YC’s of the game and a parent ejected…
In a rather heated game with weekend…more off the field, then on…at one point I saw my son (CB) talking and laughing with an opposing Forward…after the game, I asked my son what that was all about…he said, as I somewhat expected, they were talking/joking about how the parents on sideline were carrying on…
Exactly. More than the color of jerseys, age brings people together. Two opposing players will equally mock the person 30 years older than them yelling from the stands.
My son apologized to an opposing player, during a State Cup game, for something one of his (my son's) teammate's father said to the kid. He was embarrassed. A 17 year-old kid embarrassed for something a grown adult said. Sports parents are the worst. I've made mistakes, but I'm pretty sure my son has never felt compelled to apologize for me.
My Over-30 7v7 league plays after travel practice; one night a bunch of HS -aged players hung out at the parking lot after their practice and mockingly yelled all the stuff adults have been yelling at them for years at us. They were obviously having a good time turning the tables, so to speak.