The 2018 Table :: Magic Numbers, Tragic Numbers & Other Curious Quantities

That jerk with the ToastJesus handle made six posts on the same summer night in 2012, and never again. He must have been struck down, sort of like this:

 

I just meant post it to twitter, either a link to each article, or one of those multi-part tweets. Twitter would eat this up with a spoon and a fork.

 

Heads up, San Jose already eliminated mathematically from Supporters' Shield, as Red Bulls play City and ATL, and for both of City and ATL to be below 50, the Red Bulls have to hit at least 49 (where they'll have the tiebreaker of fewest draws with San Jose.

 

Twitter is an awesome news feed, using it as you do. There's the danger of getting too

This is your niche, your chance to contribute on Twitter, and gain a wider audience for your genius. A worthy goal for all mankind. But it would spoil your no posting record. It's a dilemma.

 

I am ready for the Toast Jesus and all his Toasty blessings in abundance.

All hail the Toast Jesus!

 

Given that the Revs only have one winnable game in their next 8 (6 on the road), the toaster in Foxboro is plugged in, turned on, and set to dark...

 

TFC pretty much have to go 2 points/game for rest of season. Doable, esp if Giovinco keeps his rediscovered mojo and Jozy doesn't do anything else stupid and stays healthy.
But TFC's weakness is at CBs. Mavinga is one of top CBs in MLS if he stays healthy and doesn't do stupid stuff. Moor is the organizer of defence, but also returning from long term injury and he's old. Zavaleta and Hagglund have taken a step back from last season and they need an organizer as CB partner in order not to screw up. I just don't see TFC defence not screwing up enough for TFC to make playoffs.

Edit: And TFC relies on Mtl and Revs screwing up the rest of the season.

 

I'm just glad that San Jose isn't hovering in the #7 position this year.

Kinda refreshing for a change.

 

Thx,

Jay!

 

Wait. You want to increase the idiocy on this thread?

Decent bet where MTL is concerned.

 

I'm actually amazed that SCS still has @ 11.5% non-weighted.

One more loss and I'm gonna stop caring. As Torontonian originally from Montreal, this will create some moral ambiguities for me.

If I think TFC has no chance at the playoffs, I start cheering for MTL (even against TFC, I believe there are 2 games left), this puts me at odds with fellow Reds fans. But I'm much more invested in having a Canadian presence in the playoffs.

But we can still ******** up the Whitecaps tomorrow night, (I'm pretty excited it's only my second game of the year).

 

Revs have a tough stretch coming up as well. Wouldn't count TFC out yet, but the margin for error is evaporating quickly.

 

I would post, with permission from our fearless leader. Sounds like he's not in the mood.

 

Maybe it's not that the Blind Squirrel Theory is on the wane, but that it is just that it doesn't account for all of the variables. When I came up with that theory at the end of 2010, MLS had just recently added two DP spots and TAM wasn't even a glint in Garber's eye. Teams have now figured out how powerful those additional DP spots are and the addition of TAM allows them to access additional near DP quality players. As an example of what I'm talking about, Newton's law of universal gravitation is just as valid now as it was when it was first written, it's just been superseded by Einstein's theory of general relativity which is more precise and accounts for very strong gravitational fields.

To keep with the Blind Squirrel theme, maybe another complexity needs to be added to the Blind Squirrel Theory that accounts for "Timidity", so the new and improved General Squirrelativity is born. The field with the 70 good nuts and 30 bad nuts is still in play that teams are scurrying around snapping up Good Nuts based only on whether they are blind or not, but the addition of the two DP spots and TAM has given all of the teams access to an additional field that not only has more nuts on it, but it also has Really Good Nuts (RGN) in addition to Good Nuts (GN) and Bad Nuts (BN). However, there are also other squirrels out in that field that are bigger and meaner just waiting to rip nuts out of a smaller squirrel's hands and the nuts on the new field are freaking expensive.

Whether a teams goes out into that field is determined by how timid they are. Teams that have a low Timidity look out at that other field and say "Holy crap! Look at those RGNs! If I can get my hands on some of those!" Even if it means a few are ripped out of their hands (RIP Paolo Hurtado in Rave Green), they are still going to be successful enough times to get some RGNs.

Teams that have a high Timidity look out at that other field and say “Holy crap! Look at those bigger and meaner squirrels!! I'm not going to be able to get any RGN so why even try?” They prefer to stick to the existing field and just spend more on a proven nut that either they, or another team has already found than going out into the new field.

So now instead of just having a Blind or Not Blind variable, teams also have a Timidity variable that was really always there, just everyone used to have a High Timidity. Now we have teams like DC United that are Blind with High Timidity that aren't getting as many GNs off the existing field and aren't really going out into the new field, teams like Montreal that are Blind with Low Timidity that aren't getting many GNs off the existing field and are going out into the new field, but since they are Blind, they aren't getting RGNs, teams like NYRB that are Not Blind with a High Timidity, that are getting GNs off the existing field and aren't really going out into the new field, and teams like Atlanta that a Not Blind with Low Timidity that are getting GNs off the existing field and going out in the new field and getting mostly RGNs.

 

SJE: "What's a nut?"

 

Much like how General Relativity falls apart when you get into quantum mechanics and a Theory of Everything is still outside of scientists grasps, General Squirrelativity also falls apart at some point. What is needed now is someone much smarter than I to come up with a Theory of Everysquirrel that binds them all together.

 

I mean, I shared it on my ref stats account...

 

We're all a little nuts here anyway...

 

In honor of DC United, I think we should replace squirrels with raccoons.

 

Unfortunately I've heard some other supporters groups get "if I had wings of a..." get it wrong because the DC supporters say "eagle" instead of "sparrow" (the latter of which rhymes with crow and below).