I was not sure if I should put this on the player or coach side. Daughter is a D1 college player. As a freshman, played a decent amount. Probably about 45 minutes/game. Some more, some less. I noticed watching her that in many games she would play very well in one half, then just so-so the other half. At first I just put this off to her getting her legs. Thought it might be because she heard or saw me and it affected her play, but I noticed the same issue when I was quiet or watching her play on my computer. Then after watching her play one game in person where the difference was very pronounced she said something after the game to me that made things click. She said her coach was "chirping" at her from the side line (my daughter plays wing back), throughout the game and that even the players on the bench noticed and said something to my daughter about it. After watching a few more games it became obvious. When my daughter played on the bench side of the field her play was average and sometimes resulted in her getting pulled. She was constantly turning to the sideline to see what the coach was yelling about and was hesitant in her play. Move her to the other side and she played with abandon and was much more fluid and relaxed. One half she would be on the bench side, the other half away from the bench. Talking to the coach won't happen. My daughter is a freshman, this is a well-established coach. This is not club, so me getting involved or her switching teams is not happening. So how can I help her as a player to work through this?
This is an opportunity for growth for her. Young people today aren't taught to engage authority in a constructive manner. "Coach, I know I'm a freshman and I have a lot to learn. I completely respect you, but I was hoping to talk to you about an aspect of my play . . . when I'm on the field, you're very vocal and I'm not used to that—can you give me some tips or guidance on how to focus better?" So indirectly, you've made them aware of something they are doing that doesn't jive with you, you framed it in a way that shows respect and asks for a solution from them? And the solution is a fix to the player—not for the coach to change. Who knows, the coach may change just because this was pointed out. And there is a chance that it may not go well, and it's just another opportunity to learn to repair relationships. And there is a good chance that it will make a positive impression with the coach and create an open dialogue in a mentor-mentee situation. They key is that she should rehearse this with a friend who is not on the team or maybe even an adviser (I'm sure there is one available). The attitude tends to break down between: "I hate conflict" and "I always speak my mind." Neither of which is always ideal. It doesn't always have to be conflict or a showdown. It's great practice for the thousands of interactions they will have in their lives—where they want something but aren't sure about how to go about getting it.
Funny I was a scout for my club and in the A league. When I did it for my club teams at parents request. I would watch there kids play for other coaches. Sometimes coaches would try to think for there players. The players were mostly their teams best players not there worst. Also I found the players idea's when playing away from the coach were usually a lot better idea's then The ideas the player was getting from there coach. So what to do. He is taking her concentration off her game and on to him. That is not working and he see's poor play from her so he is taking her out. But, he does not know it. I am not being cute but find some small ear plugs like when your swimming and have her put in her ears just before she goes on the field when she is within hearing distance of her coach. Then see what happens. I have a feeling she will be playing a lot better for most of the game not just half of the game. I have been married almost 50 years to the same women. We would fight over nothing years ago. Now we never fight. The main reason for that is I am losing my hearing some what. Now she talks I don't hear what she is saying I just say yeah sure. We never fight anymore. Let her read this she might get a laugh and lighten up the situation for you and your wonderful daughter. Let me know if this helps.
She had her end of season one on one with the coach yesterday. Ironically the coach told her that she needs to be more consistent. A perfect opening for what elessar78 recommended... but she just said "I will work on that." While we would like her to be able to play better on the field our bigger concern is learning the skills she will need to be successful as an adult. It's frustrating to see someone so fearless on the field unable to communicate off the field.
One of the things I've taken away from coaching is that few, if any of us, are born "anythings": born leaders, communicators, soccer players. Some of us may be predisposed and our upbringing tilts things in our favor but even then there is room for growth and improvement. This is another opportunity for her to practice and become a better communicator. As a coach, I've had to improve my public speaking—not addressing large crowds but having to daily address a small group of people. Since I'm not a natural at it, I constantly rehearse.
Her coach gave her nothing to work on that would make her more consistent in his eyes? Your daughter sounds a lot like my nephue. The coach left her with questions on exactly what he wants from her. He should have told her what it is that he wants to see in her game exactly so she knows and doesn't have to guess.
The coach told her there were times in games when she did not look confident in herself- which are the times when she plays on the bench side of the field as she is always looking to the coach and afraid of being yelled at. She told us nothing else. She has always been very tight lipped.
She is afraid to tell authority figures just what it is she has on her mind. She has to tell her what it is that bothering her right away. My nephue is the same. He is a college baseball player a pitcher originally from St. John's university. He did not like something about the pitching coach but never said anything to that coach. But he would make faces when he was told something. Coaches would rather hear what the problem was then see the player make a face that meant he thought the coach knew nothing. He transferred out too another school after the first year.