Baby is due in November Any advice?......ok, I better not leave that one wide open. LOL Any fathers take any 'classes' and did you find them worth it?
Congratulations! My wife and I took two classes when the baby was coming. 1. A class offered by the hospital associated with our OB/GYN -- three of the sessions were a lot of "it's going to hurt, here are the drugs you can take to make it better" and then one of the classes was a tour of the hospital's birth facilities. That last part was useful -- the rest of the class basically scared the heck out of my wife. 2. "Hypnobirthing" -- a bunch of hippie crap about how birthing is all natural, and it doesn't hurt unless you let it, so you can relax the pain away. My wife was in to it, I thought it was a joke. It didn't help that the classes were held in this flaky lady instructor's condo, with her cats, and I was in cat allergy hell every session. When the baby came, we spent a few hours trying the hippie method, and then my wife said "this really hurts, I want drugs" so we went that route. We were signed up for another class about taking care of newborns, but the baby came early, a few days before that class was scheduled, so we didn't go. I was nervous about that part, but the nurses at the hospital taught me everything I needed on that front. By the time you leave the hospital, you'll be a pro at the diaper thing.
Congratulations on the little one! Not a father yet, so there isn't much advice I can give on that front.
The class my wife like the best was the Lamaze class offered by our hospital. Her greatest benefit was my learning to give better backrubs. (I thought I was pretty good before.) The class was taught by a grandmother who had been a delivery nurse for many years. She talked a lot about breathing techniques, what to expect - not every pregnancy is the same, stages of delivery. (Transistion is where she turns into the evil witch of the north and threatens to cut off your privates if you ever get close to her again.) She talked about the benefits of nursing. My first wife didn't want to nurse, but after she had so much milk anyway, she decided to nurse the second one. Great idea. The milk is there anyway. It's better for the kid. It helps the mother lose some of the baby weight. In the middle of the night, it's a lot easier to go get the kid, give him to mom, and go back to sleep, than it is to go fix a bottle. The baby/mom bonding becomes a lot stronger during nursing. After a couple of months, we found that going to a formula bottle for the dinner feeding when Dad gets home for work helped get Dad involved, and help boost Mom's supply for that last feeding that help get jr. through the night. After 4 kids, I could go on, but I'll take a breath and let the others put their 2 cents in.
My wife nursed all three of ours. I didn't miss the lack of "bonding with the baby" at 3 am one bit. And it keeps your wife's - um, figure - very shapely.
Nursing is a pain. Literally and figuratively. I hated it with all three of my kids but I did it anyway because it made sense. Let your wife decide if and how much she wants to do that. There will be a lot of factors to weigh out, like how persuasive the La Leche nazis in your hospital are and how affordable formula is. If she does nurse, encourage her to get a good pump and give the baby a bottle once in a while so she can get out of the house and remember that she had a life before the baby. <Hey, YOU asked for advice! > edit: Check out the free, semi-solicited advice on this thread, too: https://www.bigsoccer.com/forum/showthread.php?t=430634
we did the natural child birth classes and we found them somewhat useful. just listen the doctors and if you have a good one, they'll steer you in the right direction. best of luck!
My standard advice to parents-to-be: determine from the get go to ignore any and all advice, especially since much of it will be unsolicited. Then, determine to ignore any and all comments people make about your child, since there are as many ignorant ones (she's huge! - which means what about your parenting?) as there are well intentioned ones (she's cute).
Best advice so far. Classes: the childbirth (they were kinda-sorta Lamaze) classes were useful because they gave me something to do in the delivery room and our teacher was pretty good at making it clear what to expect, which helped a lot, especially when we were trying to figure out when to come to the hospital.
keep us posted as things go along and ask any question you have. sure, you'll probably get contradicting answers () ... but that just goes to show you that there's more than one right way to do it. and THAT means, you'll figure out your own way and be just fine.
i think it's because what comes after the baby ain't all the pleasant to look it. i mean, the kid's not looking hot either, but it's better than the alternative.
Hey DF, thought I'd find you on here. We followed a fairly extensive class to prepare for the birth of our now 6 weeks old son. I found that extremely useful, as I didn't know enough about the choices we had before. Where do you give birth - at home, in the midwife unit, in the delivery unit of the hospital? What pain relief to use, if any? What are the advantages and risks associated with N2O, epidural, pethidine? Can you help by massaging, and how? Better use a ventouse or forceps if he refuses to come out? Is water birth good? Should you avoid a caesarian if you can? What about a managed third stage? I don't know how much influence on the way your baby is born you have in the US, but in the UK you can decide a lot yourself so you want to be very well informed in advance. In the end it's all down to personal choice (and it won't go according to plan anyway, but better be prepared), but I'd recommend against epidural anesthesia, and try to be as natural as possible. It'll help get the breastfeeding started and make you get out of hospital as fast as possible (we only stayed one night). N2O was working quite well, but you have to watch out not to take too much, otherwise you'll get drowsy and the pushing becomes more difficult. If you have a pool available, go for it, but don't go in too early! These are just my personal comments of course (PM me for more gory details ).
My two most vibrant memories from birthing class: 1) The collective juvenile male reaction. We took a two Saturday version of the class, which ran six hours each time, rather than drag it out for six or twelve weeks (that the teacher was rather batty should be mentioned - several of us were ready to stage a coup). Somewhere along hour 8 or 9, they turned the lights down and began with a relaxation technique for the mothers-to-be to use. Of course we dads participated as well. The batty teacher was doing her thing - we were told to relax out heads, our feet, our arms, our stomachs, and finally our vaginas. For whatever reason, one guy (tried unsuccessfully to totally hold back) snickered, which turned into a snicker fest. Batty seemed not to notice. When the lights came back up, none of the dads appeared guilty of being one of the snickerers, but the obvious anger and/or embarrasment of our partners gave it away. 2) At one point aroud hour five on Saturday one, an anesthesiologist came to speak and answer questions for a full 30 minutes. Because the other 11 couples were committed to Natural Child Birth, they didn't have any questions for him - sort of a moral high ground. This meant that we out of the twelve couples had the guy essentially to ourselves while the others had to sit around bored. As it turns out, all eleven of those couples ended up using drugs to dull the pain during their respective deliveries - and my wife did not (and boy did I cringe when they inserted this pink plastic suction cup thingy to help "suck" my daughter out of the canal - the pain was so obvious on my wife's face), though through no planning of her own. The guy just wasn't available.
The only thing my wife and I got from those classes offered through the hospital was a sneak peek at where we would be having the child etc etc. Nothing was taught that one cannot easily access in a library or an extensive 8th grade Sex Ed course. I will give you only three pieces of advice. 1.) Do NOT try and get a bunch of sleep right before the birth, you are only fooling your body into getting used to long amounts of sleep and that probably won't be the case for the next 20+ years 2.) Get a DVR or VCR because you simply won't be able to watch all the games you want to, when they are aired live. 3.) You'll be fine. Just put mom and baby ahead of you for now. They'll need the help.
The afterbirth makes a savory stew. But seriously, Congrats. The childbirth stuff is a waste of time for the dad. It happens quick. I actually had a nice nap in the chair next to my wife while she was miserable, and then the baby was born. If you wife wants to breatfeed, more power to her. Gross. I had doctor spocks baby book and something called Your baby and child or somethinig like that. Make the child listen to as much of your music and watch as many of your DVDs as you can. If you have decent taste. If the weather is nice, the kid goes outside to play, no excuses. Else he will be a fat ass. Don't let him ride in a stroller or wagon if he can walk. Don't let him sit in a bike cart attached to yours if he can ride a bike. Do not let him every purchase kids meals at restaurants in your presence. He eats good food at restaurants not ********ing french fries and nuggets at a chinese or sushi restaurant. Good luck. If he is a boy he will be grotesque in the eyes of others. If she is a girl she will be sweet until she is 12.
Oh, and get the kid out of your bedroom and into his own by the second day or so. When he cries, even if you hear him, pretend you are asleep. I actually could not hear the kids when I was asleep and so my wife generally got up with her. If your wife nudges you, murmer something and turn around and go back to sleeep. Hopefully, you have already established that you will not wake up just by being nudged, prodded or nagged.
I suppose it depends on the teacher, but we found our classes to be helpful, especially the stuff re: epidurals. I thought it was worth it. Being a dad rules. Congrats on the new addition!
I agree with this. Our class was very helpful as well. Another piece of advice is: you'll get a lot of advice, half of which will be rubbish, so be ready to ignore half of what you are told. If someone tells you to put your child away and let it cry, but you feel that breaks your heart, follow your heart, not some advice that goes against your instincts. It's never going to be easy, whatever you do. Just love the little one and be very nice to your partner.
Absolutely! Even if you don't learn anything from a birthing class, it's a good opportunity to do something with your wife about something other than yourselves, and going shows her that you care about her and the new one(s). Like soccer games, all pregnancies are different, but there are a lot of common threads. Like hopefully a great result. The more you prepare and learn about the process, the better off you'll be. Good luck!
On the epidural, sometimes they teach you not to take it too early So of course, my wife decides to delay, and then when she wants it, the aenesthesiologist is off handlng some emergency. The rule: Suck the drugs while you can.