At the end of the game, the ref apologized to my daughter and her coach. Said he should have carded her.
Chalk it up as a good learning experience. That's the right attitude! They're not going to magically become a better team overnight, so just let them experience whatever comes their way. In the long run, the whole tournament will just be one long blur punctuated by certain moments. If you look around, you'll find posts from me talking about how my son was one of those kids who was less aggressive and competitive at a young age than most of his teammates. Trust me--talking to her about it won't help. Don't sweat it--some kids are naturally competitive, others develop that quality later. My son really didn't until late in middle school, when he started getting more confident in his play and began being more aware of how his play affected the team and how his peers saw him. He figured it out on his own, and I'll bet your daughter will as well. In the meantime, be her Mom and her biggest fan.
The teams I've coached have averaged roughly one win per season. Got a talented team this season. A lot of former travel players. Lost 1-3.
After a recent loss that my son was taking hard, I told him that I'd rather see you play a smart game and lose than a sloppy game and win. He has no control over refs, teammates, or coaches. All he can do is play the best he knows how. If he does that than he should be satisfied and I should be too.
Right... I told one of my 2009's that he did a great job shooting the ball last weekend during the game. He was confused because he missed nearly all of his shots. I had to explain to him that I was glad he was aiming for the corners - and that I would take a miss like that any day over a goal right down the middle. Not sure if he still got it
Thanks again for all of the additional comments. I thought I would update you...still now wins, but the tournament featured our first non-loss. I missed it, but apparently we looked better...just couldn't score in a 0-0 draw. Things are still very much positive. I don't see negativity being an issue with this coach, and there have been other comments about them keeping their head up and they are doing great so far. We return to our league play on Saturday. My daughter also will have her first game with her rec team tomorrow.
Interesting couple of days. Saturday we got beat by a double digits margin. It sure didn't feel like the other team was double digits better than us. We had a few could've/should've attempts, conceded two free kicks that no one on our team (parents included) could have stopped and another own goal. At any rate, we have a ways to go, but they kept their heads up. Today we played a team we lost 0-4 to a week or so ago. We scored first today and held the lead through early in the 2nd half. They tied it and a little later got another break away. We had a few moments at the end and lost 1-2, but for today at least I am not sure the better team won!
Look for progress. Look for solid play. Look for effort. Don't sweat the results too much. Sounds like they're already playing better and learning from experience. That's great!
Pretty much a check mark on all the things you mentioned. This was the best outing for my daughter for sure. I have a couple minor gripes - would like her to see more plays through and she had like the three throw ins to her feet that promptly went out of bounds. Other than that, a solid effort.
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "see plays through"? Is she backing off from challenges? As for throw ins going out of bounds--is that a first touch issue? It's pretty common. Every played soccer tennis with her? My son and I used to do that when he was little; it was pretty much the only "training" I ever did with him. It's fun, nice bonding, and helps develop a good first touch, learning how to receive a ball from the air or bouncing off the ground. Of course, if you do that you do it because it's FUN and you don't dwell on the "training" aspect of it. From one soccer parent to another...my two cents.
She will usually go in there and fight for the ball. I think it is off the ball stuff that maybe is what I am thinking. She might play a pass and not necessarily go forward (she is usually a midfielder) where I think she might be in a better position to receive a return pass or harass the opponent if they lose possession. I agree it sounds like a first touch issue. We have done first touch drills, but not from a throw. Also, she comes from a team where the throw in traditionally meant chuck it to the open part near the boundary and run. I don't know that they have really worked on a lot if throw in drills, but I also haven't attended the last few practice.
My opinion is that the off-the-ball stuff takes longer to pick up--that's a big part of learning tactics. At least she's not mindlessly chasing the ball all over the field! Give her some time to learn how they do things. And I suggested soccer tennis (informally--we never kept score or enforced rules, we just kicked the ball back and forth trying not to let it bounce more than once before returning) because it's good practice receiving a ball coming out of the air instead of on the ground--AND it's fun.
Thanks as always for your comments and suggestions! She definitely stays in her position and doesn't chase indiscriminately. Since I don't know the tactics or what the coach is saying, I can't be sure what her focus is or if she is doing it as she is expected to. I may look into something like the soccer tennis. So thanks again.
My son's team expects to win 3 and lose 6 this season. We are only 3 games in but I pretty much know. Yes I did a lot of research on the opponent when the division alignment came out... He has no clue and doesnt care whatsoever.
...tries to remember record of U10 team 8 years ago...realizes it doesn't matter, gives up support them, have the right expectations and recognize what they do well I promise you, there are so many things that determine the happiness and success of a young person...their youth soccer record isn't one of them
No, but they can pile up. I know a kid who was on a losing rec team at U9. What was worse was the *way* they played. Kids clumped together, never passing the ball. So he went to travel, where he's now in his third year. His teams have won a total of five games. They've had more double-digit losses than wins. But ... development, right? Except that he's rapidly losing interest in playing.
I hate reading that any kid is losing interest. There's so much wrong with our "system" but the worst is how it chases kids away from the sport. How is a travel club doing that badly over the course of three years? Not blaming the kids or the coach--how is they've been put in leagues/divisions where they are routinely losing that badly? I know you live in Northern VA like me, so I'm confused why this team hasn't found their level (and again, I'm not blaming kids or coach--sounds to me like the club has dropped the ball).
Some of it is on the club for seeking out tournament competition that's too tough for them. Some of it is that the lowest divisions in typical leagues are a mishmash of teams that should be there and teams that just joined the league and are actually quite good. Some of it is on U.S. Soccer for the freaking stupid birth-year age groups, which means we have kids at U12 who've only had two years of half-field experience instead of three.
My son's league sets preliminary flights before each season based on the team's previous record, coach's input, etc. They then take requests for changes, which they obviously can't grant to everyone. The head of our club told me 60 out of 80 requests across all age groups before the fall season were to move down. I was surprised at that ratio. I'm sure some of the requests are legitimate, but there has to be more than a few chasing a 10-0 record in there.
So our outdoor season ended. The "select" team ended up being winless over four tournament games and six league games. We were supposed to have competed in another, but didn't get registered early enough (though the U13G and U12B did get in). I think there were realistically maybe two or three wins and another draw that we missed out on. It was interesting. I thought you could see some improvement and they never stopped playing hard. There were a lot of cancelled practices due primarily to the weather or shortened practices due to darkness. Then we had a lot of other conflicts so it seemed the whole team seldom got to work together. Our last game was a reschedule and we had 7 of 16 girls unable to make it. I know we had what I think was a equal mix of 06 and 07 girls to make up the U12 team. It would have been interesting to see how the 07s might have fared at U11, but not sure we had enough to form another team. I also don't know the age breakdown of the more established clubs we played - were they predominantly 06s? The experience was positive despite the game results. Futsal practices just started and I hope that will help them out as they head into the spring outdoor season.
Sounds like you're keeping your head up which is good. One thing that sticks with me from your most recent comment however is the fact that some kids did not show up. It's mostly important to have a good coach but at this age a solid player pool which reflects your daughters interests and will push doesn't hurt either.
It seems like volleyball and other soccer teams ate into some people's schedules. A lot of girls played on the rec league that is also attached to this select team. While the select team was primary, a secondary game would trump a primary practice. Of course most of those secondary games were the same days as one of the practices,so it seemed like you had few practices with all involved. That said, it did seem for some being in the team wasn't a priority. For us and most others this was the first time in a select type environment (though at a significantly reduced cost and not the same as the more established clubs from what I gathered).
This is the window (U11-U13), at least on the boys side, where everyone decides if they’re in or out, love the game or not, are committed or not… Perhaps the lower cost is/will keep less committed players around longer, but as Volk suggests, the player pool/her teammates will begin to play a bigger factor in your DD's continued development, and perhaps enjoyment…
That is a good point. My daughter has a friend who plays for one of the big clubs, her dad always talks it up. The cost thing is tough and that's assuming we would even make it. Just keep plugging away I guess. We have enjoyed it though.
I think clubs should have rec leagues for high schoolers and maybe middle schoolers that resemble adult rec leagues -- little to no practice, games only, big rosters and a pool of available subs to make up for missing players, etc. That keeps players in the game when they have other priorities, and it means the more committed players can play together.