Since watching the MNT play these days is about as enjoyable as having one's ballsac repeatedly smashed with a rubber mallet, thoughts turn to other sources of enjoyment, such as the profusion of fun nicknames that have been bestowed on our beloved Dear Leader, Gregg "Greg" Berhalter. To my knowledge there is a triumvirate, each with their own charms: 1. GGG. This one seems to have its origin in some podcast I didn't listen to in which Berhalter himself claimed this as his gangster name. I know not whether this is accurate, but I do know that the likelihood that Berhalter is far closer to Michael Bolton in Office Space (and in particular the scene where Bolton is singing along with gangster rap in his car until a black person pulls up alongside him at which point he shrinks in fear) than to an actual gangster. This nickname appeals to me because "G-g-g" approximates the sound I make in utter consternation when I learn of Berhalter's lineup choices and tactics. Also, some have suggested that "GGG" is deeply, deeply lewd but I do not know why and prefer to keep it that way. 2. Egg. This one is pretty great, and somehow truly encapsulates Dear Leader's spiritual essence. Clearly a variation on "Gregg", it is particularly appropriate because it is also the nickname of Ann Veal in Arrested Development, which is very fitting because when I learned that Berhalter was going to be the HC of the MNT, my reaction was "Him?" It is apt also because the number of goals we scored against Jamaica and Venezuela in the lead-up to the Gold Cup was a big fat goose egg. 3. Beerholder. This is a nice phonetic riff that does not seem loaded for or against el Jefe. It reminds me of the common meme "Hold my beer," which in this context I suppose would make Berhalter the always-outclassed speaker who is being asked to hold a beer for the person who is about to outclass him. E.g., Berhalter: "There will be more losses like Jamaica in the future, I guarantee it," Venezuela: "Hold my beer." I'm sure there are plenty of other sobriquets, pseudonyms, and monikers for dear old dusty Gregg. Do you know what they are? Please add/suggest additional ones. It will be ever so much fun. And to be clear I am writing this post (1) in a profoundly dark place after the apocalyptically awful losses to JAM and VEN, hence my not-entirely-generous tone toward Berhalter; and (2) I sincerely hope that at some point the dude rights the ship and there are affectionate and/or complimentary nicknames to add to the list. Til then, may this thread be a light-hearted and heavily cynical place to redirect one's thoughts and feelings about the MNT HC in a direction orthogonal to the standard he-sucksery prevalent elsewhere.
Like all compelling nicknames, it works on so many levels. Another just suggested offline: "Grog." Pretty good, pretty good. Depends on whether you understand this as "grogginess" or "pirate's ale." Latter may be cool but doesn't make a lot of sense.
"Hold my beer" is typically what the guy who is about to do something dangerous and stupid says right before he does said dangerous and stupid thing. E.g. "Here hold my beer" while I try to feed this lion a tic tac from my hand. Greg's more like "Here, hold my beer" I'm about to do the lineup.
Someone posted an excellent image of this character (who I believe is from a Chilean comic strip?) His name is Huevoduro ("Hard-Boiled Egg"). The likeness is uncanny.
Also, I know I'm late with nicknames, but I'd like to propose "Triple-G Dawggg". Give him a little flair.
Thanks skim... that image made me LOL... something hard to do at this point given my complete and utter disappointment with respect to young Gaff. This article really summed up the reasons for my disdain: https://mlsmultiplex.com/2019/06/10/usmnt-3-reasons-worry-gregg-berhalter/
Can't right now think of any better than those already suggested here. My vote, then, is for "Egg". After all, the Humpty Dumpty catastrophe was an Egg related event, and right now it sure looks like all the King's horses and all the King's men cannot put our USMNT together again.......
Taking off from prior posters, my vote is for EggFarter. It fits his name and suggests the stench of our last two games. And even if we turn things around as hoped, EggFarter still is fun. We could print T shirts for his fan club, the EggFarters.
Let's take a step further and name him: Brainfarter Sounds similar to his real last name and fits nicely when results or/and performances are bad, or when he drops another of his indecipherable explanations in pre-match or post-match interviews.
I dunno, I associate "Busthalter" with ... um ... other emotions. Calling Gregg by that is just going to confuse me on deep level - and probably provide yet more material for my therapist.
I think we always over-look a real major issue. barf-egg holder is a by-product of a ridiculous situation. Don Garber has been at the helm of things for 20 years Dan Flynn has been at the helm of things for 19 years Jay Berhalter has been involved in a C- Executive level capacity for 20 years. Both Garber and Flynn said they would be retired by now. What keeps them staying around for so long? FUBU and their network/ fixing legacy. get the names of all the board members and put pressure on them to act. USSF Board Members: Don Garber Michael Bradley Bob Bradley Bruce Arena Kenny Arena Gregg Berhalter Landon Donovan Stuart Holden Jay Berhalter Earnie Stewart welp…….…. I guess thats a dead end too.
Could go Deutsch with it. Befahlen. Which means "ordered". Something's there about needing to play "his guys", or players "under orders", but perhaps that's a bridge too far.
Something about "Gagg" speaks to me. It plays off the absurd overnumerosity of Gs in his name, and it also is what I typically do these days when I see the USMNT play.
Yikes, it looks so much worse when you see them all together on page. Zero hope for real improvement with that single minded board who cares as much or more for the local league than the national team.
If we somehow miss another WC, Beerholder will have been more prescient than I could have ever imagined.