Asking coach for feedback

Our club provides evaluations that are sent via a website that must be read and approved by the parents. Comments and questions can also be asked there.

I’d just write an email at a non-emotional time (post-tournament, etc) asking for their feedback regarding strengths and weaknesses that you’re looking to help out with outside of practice. Nothing wrong with asking the question, unless they’re maybe U14 or U16 and should be taking care of that on their own.

 

I would guess it depends on the context.

 

Age would depend on how to approach IMO. I think everything should be done after practice.

Younger than U11 (Parent and child): Coach, can you give us an idea on what Billy does well and what you'd like to see him work on?
U11-U13 (Child & Maybe Parent): Coach, can you give me an idea on what I do well and what you'd like to see me work on?
U13+ (Child only): Coach, can you give me an idea on what I do well and what you'd like to see me work on?

Don't bring up playing time. In theory whatever the coach wants you to work on would help increase playing time.

 

How timely. I just did this for my U13. Sorry sam_gordon, if you think he's too old for me to reach out

My son is getting pretty down about soccer. There's a lot of things that go with it, but a big one is a perceived playing time decrease. He's really starting to measure his success and satisfaction in soccer with how many minutes he plays, rather than whether the minutes he plays are successful and satisfying. Does that make sense? As of late, he would consider a game a greater success if he played lackluster but played10 more minutes than if he played beautifully but spent more time on the sidelines.

My son says he has asked his coach what he can do to earn more playing time, and his coach tells him not to worry about it, he's doing great. I have no idea if this is actually what has transpired or if something is lost in translation, but that's what's reported to me.

Anyway, he can't articulate what he needs to work on, yet he is moping around at home complaining about playing time and I can't help him if I don't know what he needs, so I decided to go straight to the horse's mouth.

I chose to email the coach first, rather than putting him on the spot after practice because I wanted him to really think about some practical suggestions, not just say something off the cuff. I didn't ask him to play my son more, I said I was working on a plan for soccer going forward and I wanted to discuss with him areas where my son could improve and how to accomplish it. I don't know if he needs soccer specific training, SAQ training, or maybe strength and conditioning. As a parent, I know I have an unhappy kid, and I want to nip that in the bud. I also think he is going to have to work harder for the next couple of years to keep pace because based upon heredity, he is going to be one of the later kids to have that big growth spurt (I swear, some of his teammates have grown 3 inches since Fall started).

Anyway, he emailed me back today and said he'd be happy to meet either before or after the next practice. So, that's what we will do. Fingers crossed it will be practical and productive.

 

Email worked great for me. Asked about feedback on development. Done once or twice (depending on length of season), I don't see why the coach would not be receptive to sharing their thoughts about a player relating to development. I think email works great because it can be pretty clearly stated and doesnt even need to be too wordy. Mind you, I've only dealt with coaches who I consider to be good people.

 

With the OP's question in mind, I emailed my son's coach a few questions and he sent me a lengthy email in fairly short order (and a follow-up in response to another question from me).

He didn't provide a ton of "do this, work on that" instruction specific to my son but did provide some, and explained a lot of things about his coaching plan for this team that cleared up questions about a number of things I'd noticed (other parents, too) -- not bad things, just things that are different than the approaches taken by my son's previous coaches. When I ran into the coach tonight at our local indoor facility we talked further about it.

That went surprisingly well.

 

Hi all,
This may not be the right forum per se; I have a kid in Slavia Prague's system, but reading this it looks like some of these concerns are pretty much universal. We all complain about a lack of feedback and such, the only difference, or maybe I'm wrong, is that at Slavia and, I suppose other big European clubs, they just give your kid the boot if he doesn't meet their standards/expectations. At Slavia, and other big clubs in the Czech Republic, kids from other teams are constantly brought in for a 'trial.' So, if you have a kid on the cusp, you're nervous, all of which is compounded by the information vacuum. More on point, I was wondering whether the coach at Slavia was satisfied with my son, or whether he saw him as one of the least perspective players. He reassured me my boy was in the top half as far as athletic tests went, and said he was satisfied with his work ethic. After that, my son said the coach was a bit more attentive towards him, and he's kinda taken his game up a bit....So, talking to a coach, in a constructive manner, can't hurt, but you probably don't want to overdue it....

 

If you just want feedback about strengths and weaknesses, personally, I prefer email as it always me to be more deliberative. But honestly, I'd mostly recommend this for just younger players.

I'd say if they're teenagers, then really it should just be the kid approaching the coach for feedback or if there's a problem.

I suppose, the parent can be next to the kid so long as the kid and the coach are the only ones doing the talking and the parent is only listening (perhaps to get the unfiltered story). But even that should be discouraged in most cases. Let the kid learn to be a big boy/girl and at least take the first step in trying to address their own problems.

The parent should only get involved beyond that if the teenager already approached the coach and the result was not satisfactory.

Coaches want to see players taking ownership of their soccer trajectory, then they'll have a better idea where the motivation comes from.

 

Good luck. I'd recommend email as well as it is less confrontational. You might also ask him or her to give you advice after the next upcoming game. I think its hard for coaches to really give a detailed assessment of every kid on our team. This year our club is having the kids rate themselves after every game using a big long checklist with different skills and categories. This way they can self assess and track their progress.

Last year I remember talking to my son's coach on three separate occasions regarding "What does he need to work on"? We did get some good advice on one of the occasions. The other two times not so much.

 

Why not just approach the coach after a practice and ask him/her if he/she has a few minutes? If the problems are such that they need to be annotated in an email, then there's probably little hope under that coach, and better to look for greener pitches elsewhere. Yeah, once the kid is probably 13 or so, the parent should step back and let him or her handle any issues with the coach...

 

I need a little time to read the replies so far, but this is something I wrestle with a little.

Here is my situation -- think the coach is great and my daughter is having fun/working hard.
Except for goalie (she isn't too good for the position, just like the smallest kid on the team) I am fine with her playing anywhere.

She typically plays in a forward position (9v9 and we play a 3-3-2) in practice. In the last game, she played almost exclusively in the left defensive position. She got a lot of work trying to handle a giant of a girl throughout.

Again, I have zero issues with her being played there. I am very curious to know what led to that decision. More of a pick-the-coaches brain type thing and gain some tactical insight. I guess there are some answers you might not want to hear, namely that it's a place to sort of mask deficiencies, but I didn't get that impression during the game based on being matched up more often with what I thought was a really good player on the other side.

I think I am just inquisitive, but I don't want it to sound like I am questioning anything.

 

My guess is that she's in great shape, not tall, has a good left foot, can cross the ball, can defend reasonable well, passes accurately and has good understanding of the game. You don't hide weak players in defence!

To be a great striker you need to know how defenders think and move and the only way to do that is to play back there. My daughter's coach used to put her at left centre back to improve her passing and left foot.

Over the years I have noticed that a lot of good strikers get moved to defence because everyone wants to be a striker or midfielder. There is not enough great defenders. It might be her new position! Such a fun one if she is taught how to play it properly.

 

Nice answer, StrikerMom.

My U13 moved from attacking positions -- forward and left wing, mostly -- to left fullback a couple of years ago, give or take (he initiated the move, and my wife and I scratched our heads over what he was doing).

I posted a thread here a while back wondering a lot of the same kinds of things -- will he be pigeon-holed as just a defender, does this mean he's limited to this, ...

So after watching this play out for a while, I'd say this: Since my son made the move, his team (under two different coaches) has always used the fullbacks as two-way players, getting up and down the lines, overlapping, cutting across the top of the opponent's box, ... He's scored a bit from the position and had a fairly large number of assists. And whatever success his team has starts with defense -- the back line is usually made up of four of the best players on the team

He and the kid who starts at right FB are there in large part because they're fast, have stamina (he usually plays at least 90 percent of the game or more -- possibly in part because most kids don't want to play outside back), and they're skilled on the ball.

In the process, my son has also learned how to pressure and defend -- things he really needed to work on. And he's usually among the top three or four players on his team (I'd echo StrikerMom on not hiding weak kids in defense and add that, in my really limited kid-coaching experience, the easiest place to hide a weak kid was forward).

I'd add that this week my son said his current coach is weighing getting him time in an attacking role again -- he's a pretty good finisher, something his team doesn't have much of.

 

Thanks for your reply! She definitely checks a lot of those boxes. I do find that her speed can be a plus too. So even if she misplays something, she can sometimes make up for it with her speed. We have some other good defenders, but lack that catch-up ability if the ball gets past them. I wondered if that might be a factor.

I am pretty much fine wherever. I do think she is a more wide thinking player, and that she seems more engaged there.

Maybe I will see how her upcoming tournament goes before I reach out or maybe not at all. This has been insightful!

 

I would somewhat caution you about approaching/reaching out to the coach just because you are “inquisitive”….unless you really have an “issue” or problem, I’d let it go…I say this for two reason…

1) Like everyone, the coach is busy…don’t bother him unless you really have a problem…

2) You only have some many “contacts” with a coach before you become “one of those” parents…spend those contacts wisely….coaches talk, so that number/reputation can transfer as well…

But that’s just me, vmmv….

 

Thanks for sharing!

After reading StrikerMoms reply and thinking of my own, I thought about how I can definitely see my daughter in that fullback or wingback type role. Again, she definitely checks a lot of the right boxes.

I do feel she is more home on the wings whether forward, mid, or defense .A little more assertive and confident.

 

I think this is probably good and fair advice. I definitely don't want to be like that. I had heard in the fall that some parent(s) may have questioned where there kid was. I could see any reaching out for me sounding just like that even if unintentional. I am not the coach either...this board has been great as a sounding off platform!

 

Is this a professional or parent volunteer coach? Does the coach like to hang around and chit chat? I think if you get to know the coach better, then you can probably talk about plenty of soccer related topics as a fan of the game. Share your doubts or questions bout the player development model through conversation, and you'll probably get a fair bit of information to fill in the gaps.

 

Thanks for all the replies! Not sure if this is an epilogue, but I am just letting things progress regardless of my curiosity or desire for insight.

She ended up playing more midfield in her final tournament games. At first I thought she was being either too defensive or too offensive...then I could see her doing a good job tracking back and marking a forward with a lot of open space,and then added two goals later.

Mostly it boils down to what do I know anyway. Lol .

 

Sorry to hijack this thread again...was just thinking that maybe part of it is that the particular daughter has very little interest in any post practice/game discussion or analysis.

She loves practice, games, actually doing something with soccer (especially with someone else). Talking about it, not so much. She might beam about a goal...but this last game I said did you score with your left foot (she wasnt sure), or I ask what did the coach say (I don't know or just a little info), etc.

She will talk if something happened where she felt her or her team were wronged. Last game her teammate by her went down hurt...my daughter stopped near her, the ref didn't blow the whistle, I felt bad for telling my daughter to keep running. At any rate, the girl was ok, but my daughter was more specific about that than what happened in her goals (though one girl got her with her spikes I guess, which was her takeaway).

 

My son did the same once in a tournament 2 years ago. His teammate's well being is more important than W/L in his mind. I was very very proud of his decision. I still remember that moment.

If you are not sure whether this is the right thing for your daughter to do, imagine you are the father whose child just went down.

 

Indeed, sportsmanship would also tend to dictate kicking the ball out of play in those situations…