By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
  1. Dan Loney

    Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 10, 2000
    Cincilluminati
    Club:
    Los Angeles Sol
    Nat'l Team:
    Philippines

    American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

    By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
    Okay, I care. Maybe I care…too much.

    But it’s still too soon. My grieving process will continue until the World Cup final or until Russia gets out of the first round. Because that will prove the thing has been fixed. They probably won’t have the nerve to let Putin win the whole thing – what is this, 1934? 1978? But Russia is looking like a strong candidate to field the worst host World Cup team in history, a record they will hold until November 21, 2022.

    I also believe that someone should have told Dave Sarachan he’s not an actual candidate. Grant Wahl and Brian Straus piled on this aspect already in the unloadable Sports Illustrated website, but Sarachan is coaching as if he thinks he’s first in line. In fairness, the US has a long history since 1995 or so of hiring the interim guy to the full-time job. In equal fairness, the US was never happy with Bob Bradley, and ended up really really unhappy with Steve Sampson.

    I’ve never thought the search for our permanent coach, or the rebuilding of the men’s national team program, should begin until after this World Cup, anyway. The churn and scrum between reputations having been made and destroyed and made again, combined with the annual European seasonal rush, should make the relatively stable US job extremely attractive. Carlos and the Federation can, and should, take their sweet and hire the right.

    This means that I shouldn’t complain that Sarachan didn’t use his substitutions against Paraguay to the maximum development capacity. I don’t even think we should have played these games, except as a chance to model the Nike not-Russia design.

    Unless, of course, we have absolutely no intention of hiring a coach who isn’t American. In which case, Sarachan is as much of a candidate as anyone else. But also in which case – my God, I’m using the English language simply beautifully, ain’t I just? – Sarachan still shouldn’t have made only one sub. He more than anyone else would want to see as many different faces as early as possible in as many different combinations.

    Want to know who I think we should hire? Glad I’m pretending you asked!

    If Mexico, Canada and the United States co-host the 2026 Fustercluck, then we have luxuries of time and patience no other country would potentially enjoy (besides Mexico and Canada, I guess). So we could look in the really long term, and intentionally hire someone for two cycles. This person would either have and maintain, or jolly well promise to have and maintain, an encyclopedic knowledge of American talent here and abroad. We’ll skew young for Qatar 2022, because who cares, we’re focused on the big party.

    We as a fan base would need to be patient for years while that’s going on. I don’t see that happening.

    If Morocco closes the deal, then we’d better find ourselves the Bora Milutinovic of the Roaring Twenties. This is why I want to wait until after the World Cup. What if – and I know it’s not likely to happen, but work with me – what if Germany for some reason gets really sick of Jogi Loew? Remember what the World Cup is, folks. It’s a culmination of years of effort scouting and planning – but it’s also a short, short tournament. Qualifying isn’t a marathon, either – it’s a series of sprints spaced out over years. If we’re going to be in a talent trough for the foreseeable future – in other words, if Christian Pulisic is basically our Janis Joplin and we’ve only got the Holding Company backing him up – shut up, this metaphor works – then we’ll need a guy who can steal points.

    We as a fan base would need to tolerate very cynical, results-first-and-only games. I don’t see that happening.

    So, to answer the question, I don’t know. Because we’re hiring a different sort of international coach. We need someone with the vision of Juergen Klinsmann, who is pretty much the opposite of Juergen Klinsmann in every other way.

    We could always hire Greg Vanney for 2022, and hope Pulisic will be his Giovinco. And Jozy Altidore will still only be in his early 30’s! We could ride the Toronto FC foundation all the way to the second round! Or maybe extra time in the second round!

    In other news, I see the Galaxy have signed Ronnie “Z-man” Barzell. Congratulations! To me, for finally being able to shoehorn in a “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls” reference.

    Oh, the MLS season started. You know who I fell asleep on? Columbus. They will make movies out of the Crew if they make the playoffs this year. I had the team (although not the franchise) written off as dead in the water, on the theory that while Anthony Precourt was poisoning the well the mineral water wasn’t going to sell.

    So, MLS being MLS, the Crew get off to this fantastic start. Despite having given away Ola Kamara and Justin Meram.

    Well, I hope Gyasi Zardes scores forty goals and the Crew win the first American triple. The end of the movie would need some deus ex machina to remove Precourt so he doesn’t get to reap the reward of other people’s work, of course. Like, someone makes a side bet that if the Crew win MLS Cup, the community center is saved. I realize that’s the plot of “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo,” but you don’t mess with a classic.

    I did want to talk about the Hall of Fame voting really quick – we’ll hear more hoopla when the Frisco museum opens (get it? Hoopla? FC Dallas? Oh, it’s been about ten years since Dallas has actually worn hoops?), but this was a very quick and quiet voting period. I don’t know who besides Kenn has put up his ballot.

    Here’s how I did mine. I divided into three categories – yes, no, and maybe. It shook out as follows:

    YUP

    Brad Friedel*
    Kate Sobrero Markgraf
    Tiffeny Milbrett
    Jaime Moreno
    Carlos Bocanegra*
    Steve Cherundolo
    Frankie Hejduk
    Pat Onstad
    Steve Ralston

    MAYBE

    Ante Razov**
    Jeff Cunningham
    Pablo Mastroeni
    Eddie Lewis
    Gregg Berhalter
    Taylor Twellman
    Jay DeMerit*
    Tony Sanneh
    Eddie Johnson*
    Aly Wagner
    Josh Wolff
    Clint Mathis
    Bobby Convey*
    Brian Ching

    NOPE

    Juan Pablo Angel*
    Kevin Hartman
    David Beckham
    Thierry Henry*
    Stuart Holden*
    Heather Mitts
    Lori Lindsey*
    Ben Olsen
    Chris Klein

    I suppose I should explain the Nope category in more detail – there are some very famous names there. Angel and Beckham and Henry did not have the MLS longevity or consistency to justify inclusion – and because they have no US national team performance to bolster their Hall bios, that’s all they’re going to have. Stuart Holden and Ben Olsen were injured, and there’s nothing we can do about that.

    Kenn has voted for Kevin Hartman twice, and I, the biggest and most biased Galaxy fan alive, have him way down the list. Couple of reasons – Pat Onstad is occupying the “Screw you, he tore it up in MLS for years” spot on the ballot, Onstad will be off the ballot first, and I plan to put Hartman in there in the years between when Onstad falls off and Rimando comes on.

    But no US national team career to speak of, even though the fan in me is convinced he was WAY better than Brad Friedel, is just impossible for me to overlook. And while I’m a big, big fan of MLS stalwarts making the Hall, the ballot’s crowded enough that for the first time, I had to take a serious look at seniority.

    I always vote for ten players, because I’m a Big Haller. The top seven on my list I don’t feel the need to defend outrageously. Onstad and Ralston were MLS stars who left the league as record-holders. It’s stupid, to me, not to recognize and celebrate that. MLS assists and goals won’t start counting the year Landon is eligible.

    So I had one spot left. And obviously I was going to give it to Jeff Cunningham, because I hate Ante Razov.

    And we’re not going to vote in ten players. We’ll be lucky to vote in three. I’ll run a more formal poll for you guys next year, maybe, but the cute little one I ran last week or so? Nobody made it. Cherundolo didn’t make it. And I assume my readers are people who agree with me a lot.

    But…what if. What if mine is the one damned vote that happens, this year as some weird anomaly, to cost Ante Razov his spot.

    Ridiculous, I know. I haven’t voted for him for years, and it’s made no difference. And he didn’t become a better player in the past year.

    But look at all those maybes. (And even a couple of the nopes are maybes, like Hartman and Angel.) It would be easy to say “This is a Hall of Fame, and Maybe means No.” I respect the people that feel that way. And I know there are more people who vote five or less than vote seven or more.

    Ante Razov was an early standard bearer, champion and perennial scoring leader. His MLS achievements deserve recognition, and this is his last chance.

    You might ask why I’m agonizing over the tenth spot, when I should be much more irritated that Milbrett and Markgraf are going to be ignored again. Because Ante Razov is now the Veterans’ problem, and we’ll all have time to yell about Milbrett and Markgraf when the results are announced.

    Huh. I seem to have put the President of the LA Galaxy at the very bottom of the list for some reason.

    LAST MINUTE JOKE: Wait! Instead of "Los Angeles," they can call it "Los Zlatangeles!" Like, work the city name and his name together! I'm a genius
     
?

How funny would it be if I predict the MLS season a month after it started, and still get it wrong?

  1. About as funny as you usually are

    9 vote(s)
    40.9%
  2. About as wrong as you usually are

    13 vote(s)
    59.1%

Comments

Discussion in 'Articles' started by Dan Loney, Mar 30, 2018.

    1. mschofield

      mschofield Member+

      May 16, 2000
      Berlin
      Club:
      Union Berlin
      Nat'l Team:
      Germany

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      I realize the trendy, hispter thinking is to dismiss Becks time in the US as a holiday (even to dismiss his entire career as some sort of marketing ploy), but it's tough to argue that any player on that list had more impact on US soccer than he did. His time in MLS was transitory, but it was also transitionary.
      As a player, his MLS career was less than greased lightning.
      But as a force in US soccer, he was Gavrilo Princip. It's oversimplying to say that everything that's happened since is down to him, but everything that's happened since is down to him.
       
      Marko72 repped this.
    2. RevsLiverpool

      RevsLiverpool Member+

      Nov 12, 2005
      Boston
      Club:
      Liverpool FC
      Nat'l Team:
      United States
      #3 RevsLiverpool, Mar 31, 2018
      Last edited: Mar 31, 2018

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Dan,
      Agree with a lot of your HoF names but I'm befuddled how Ralston is a yes while Twellman is a maybe and Matt Reis isn't even on the list. Twellman was the most lethal American born goal scorer the league's ever seen. Better than Kreis, Wondo, Razov, whomever else, as he did everything in a condensed period of time. He didn't have a lot of caps not because he lacked the talent but because the guy in charge of the NT didn't know how to evaluate forwards at Twellman's peak in the 05-06-07. Hence, the 2006 World Cup was an epic fail.

      Reis was as good or better than Onstad (yes I know, I know).

      Of course, you could make a case for a lot of players but to me, Twellman (at least) is a lock HoFer.
       
    3. Dan Loney

      Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 10, 2000
      Cincilluminati
      Club:
      Los Angeles Sol
      Nat'l Team:
      Philippines

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Matt Reis wasn’t on the ballot, unless I missed something. Ralston left MLS as its all-time assist champ, which Twellman didn’t. I also think Ralston is off the ballot first. I can see putting in Twellman when I think I have room.
       
    4. RevsLiverpool

      RevsLiverpool Member+

      Nov 12, 2005
      Boston
      Club:
      Liverpool FC
      Nat'l Team:
      United States

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Probably wasn't. and this may be due to having Rev tinted glasses, but Reis stacks up well with any longtime MLS keepers.

      As for Twellman, no he didn't leave with records apart from a scoring title, 4 MLS Cup appearances and 2 MLS Best XIs.
       
    5. Dan Loney

      Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 10, 2000
      Cincilluminati
      Club:
      Los Angeles Sol
      Nat'l Team:
      Philippines

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      I agree! But Ralston is just that tiny bit more worthy, especially since to me the record he set - assists - isn’t appreciated enough. And he’s more at risk of falling off the ballot, something I badly need to keep track of. Amado Guevara is a former MVP and I think he’s off the ballot after one year.
       
      RevsLiverpool repped this.
    6. Iforgotwhat8wasfor

      Jun 28, 2007

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      try Try-y-y TRY just a little bit HARDER...
       
    7. Bill Archer

      Bill Archer BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 19, 2002
      Washington, NC
      Club:
      Columbus Crew
      Nat'l Team:
      United States
      #8 Bill Archer, Apr 2, 2018
      Last edited: Apr 2, 2018

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Pat Onstad had no US National Team career to speak of because Pat Onstad is a Canadian. I apologize if that's not what you meant. I may have gotten lost in the pronouns.

      A terrible thing, lemme tell ya.

      But I'm really posting to put in a word about - not necessarily for - Jeff Cunningham, a man who was born and raised in Jamaica, a country which tried mightily for years to call him in. But he listened to the sweet nothings Bruce Arena was whispering in his ear about starring for the US of A, so he waited while he went through the years-long immigration process.

      Then finally, finally, Jeff got his papers. Bruce called him in, gave him about six minutes of playing time - a cynic would suggest that it was simply cap-tying, nothing more - and then lost his phone number. He could have had 100 Jamaica callups but instead got screwed by il Bruce.

      So I'd put the guy in just because, shit, seems like we owe him something not just for still being the #3 career scorer in MLS but for being a dumbass chump who believed what a US coach told him.

      They took a Piece of his Heart.
       
      RafaLarios, Martininho, mosca and 4 others repped this.
    8. matabala

      matabala Member+

      Sep 25, 2002

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Not sure why I'm surprised. What with the standards for just about everything having fallen to a Death Valley near level but some of these names and Hall of Fame in the same sentence? Makes my skin crawl.
       
    9. Dan Loney

      Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 10, 2000
      Cincilluminati
      Club:
      Los Angeles Sol
      Nat'l Team:
      Philippines
      #10 Dan Loney, Apr 2, 2018
      Last edited: Apr 2, 2018

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      The nominee list, again, is everyone who is eligible for minimum consideration. Tell your skin to relax.

      I am kicking myself for not thinking of checking this earlier, but here are the names of the people that were on the 2017 ballot that were not on the 2018 ballot.

      ELECTED: Briana Scurry
      AGED OUT: Chris Armas, Jason Kreis (voted for both each time, they are with the Veterans Committee now)
      FAILED TO RECEIVE MINIMUM VOTES: Chris Albright, Danny Califf, Joe Cannon, Tina Frimpong Ellertson, Eddie Gaven, Amado Guevara, Leslie Osborne

      Seven flunked out of a total ballot of 33, very roughly a 20% fail rate. But all seven were on the ballot for the first time. Only five first-time candidates made it to a second ballot. (Beckham, Cherundolo, Ching, Hartman and Mastroeni, if you're interested.)

      And as I'm sure you're all aware, the first-time candidates this year are JPA, Bocanegra, Convey, DeMerit, Friedel, Henry, Holden, GAM and Lori Lindsey. (Ante is the only candidate who is guaranteed to be off the ballot next year, although I'd be surprised to be voting for Friedel or Lindsey next year.)

      If I had to guess - and I don't, so what is my deal? - I'd expect a lot more votes spread out among more players, and continued small induction classes. If Brad Friedel is one of only two or three featured speakers that day, the only thing that would surprise me would be his choice of accent.

      EDIT: Looked up Matt Reis and compared him to the eligibility requirements. Goalkeepers have it pretty tough. If you weren't getting the USMNT caps, you'd better have won Best XI in MLS. Reis had two caps, Hartman had five, and I can't find Onstad's US caps listed anywhere.

      Two is the record for goalkeepers being named to the MLS Best XI; it's shared among Tim Howard (twice in a row, then he washed out of the league before his comeback with Colorado), Onstad, Zach Thornton (eleven seasons apart!), and Donovan Ricketts. Nick Rimando has never made the MLS Best XI or won Goalkeeper of the Year, but he will get on the ballot thanks to his 22 caps.
       
    10. matabala

      matabala Member+

      Sep 25, 2002

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      I won't ask how the nominee list is formed. You likely told us but I wasn't paying attention. Too occupied considering how minimal a career I can have and still make the first ballot for Underwater Basketweavers Hall of Fame.
       
    11. kgilbert78

      kgilbert78 Member+

      Dec 28, 2006
      Cowlumbus, OH
      Club:
      Borussia Mönchengladbach
      Nat'l Team:
      United States

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Who wasn't named Brian McBride....With all due respect to Twellman. Also, I think the injuries do not help his case.

      I'd also like to see the Vets induct Bob Rigby--as I feel he was the best keeper of his era--but it's not likely to happen. Not that many folks around who remember him playing anymore.
       
      Bill Archer and Martininho repped this.
    12. Martininho

      Martininho Member+

      Feb 13, 2007
      Chicago
      Club:
      --other--
      Nat'l Team:
      United States

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Agree wholeheartedly, I remember Bob Rigby well, in fact, and I'm only...oh, merde
       
      kgilbert78 repped this.
    13. Roger Allaway

      Roger Allaway Member+

      Apr 22, 2009
      Warminster, Pa.
      Club:
      Philadelphia Union
      Nat'l Team:
      United States

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Calling it a "nominee list" is really a misnomer, because nobody is nominating the players on it. What the USSF announces is just a list of who has met the Hall of Fame's eligibility criteria. If you have met the criteria, you are on the list (or have been at some time in the past). If you have not met the criteria, you are not on the list.

      You can meet the criteria in either of two ways. One is by getting 20 or more U.S. national-team caps. The other is by playing five or more seasons in a U.S. first-division league (currently MLS or the NWSL) and being named to the Best XI at least once.

      There are some people on that list who seem very unlikely to ever be elected to the Hall of Fame. But elections require losers as well as winners. Over the 14 years for which I have the election numbers, only about five percent of the candidates have been elected to the Hall of Fame.
       
      Dan Loney repped this.
    14. praxis.en

      praxis.en Member

      May 13, 2015
      Bogota DC.
      Club:
      America de Cali

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      dont disrespect another country's name in your attempt to be clever.
      lame article
       
    15. mschofield

      mschofield Member+

      May 16, 2000
      Berlin
      Club:
      Union Berlin
      Nat'l Team:
      Germany

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Seeing as the title is Paraguay v (offensive thing)and came just after (or before, can't be bothered to check) the match wouldn't the country being disrespected be the US?
       
      Martininho repped this.
    16. praxis.en

      praxis.en Member

      May 13, 2015
      Bogota DC.
      Club:
      America de Cali

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      no.
       
    17. praxis.en

      praxis.en Member

      May 13, 2015
      Bogota DC.
      Club:
      America de Cali

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      this article reeks of american jingoism and its racists posts and content proves it. is this BS best writer? kinda sad.

      anyways, enjoy the world cup.
       
    18. Dan Loney

      Dan Loney BigSoccer Supporter

      Mar 10, 2000
      Cincilluminati
      Club:
      Los Angeles Sol
      Nat'l Team:
      Philippines

      American Soccer - Paraguay v. I Don't Care-a-guay

      By Dan Loney on Mar 30, 2018 at 5:04 PM
      Thank you for your thoughts. Have you tried crying about it?
       
      Martininho repped this.

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