Adult Co-ed -- refereeing approach and considerations?

Each challenge has to be judged on its own. Is this two skilled guys going for it or is it a inexperienced woman against an experienced guy or some other combination, because all of the combinations will eventually happen? Our league has an 'intimidation' rule that considers a large male going physically aggressive against a small woman to be dangerous play. I haven't had to use that rule of competition in quite a few years, however. I attribute that to the league having divisionalized a while ago. They now have seven divisions, with the 7th division barely knowing what to do when the ball crosses the goal line but not into the goal ("I kid you not") and the first division mostly former college players or, at least, former high school players from larger schools. That tends to even up the expectations of players about how physical play will be/should be.

I tend to be conscious of who came with whom. Guys are going to "look out for" the gal they came with and, occasionally, vice versa. Yeah, I've seen a woman going in hard on a guy who just fouled her boyfriend/husband a minute or two ago. At least in my experience, there is still a tendency for the bandits to gather on the same team. If you recognize that one of your teams today is 'those guys,' then you know to keep things relatively tight and you'll have to do a lot of player management.

 

Sorry, got interrupted. For the most part, you will be ahead of the game if your words and demeanor indicate that everybody, including you, is just out there to have a good time and your job is to see that happens. Smiling and an occasional one liner will go a long way. Whistle and point is not the way to approach these games.

Our league allows no more than five male field players. I've seen games with guys on the bench and the team is playing short because they didn't have enough women. I've also seen teams with more than five women field players out there because there weren't enough guys. I am not flexible about allowing more than five male field players when a team doesn't have enough women. The other team will definitely get indignant if you were to allow their opponents more guys and things will go downhill from there.

We also allow no more than two goals per player, so I have to track who scored. Difficult in that league because it is the only local league that doesn't require numbers on shirts. I've found that a good percentage of players don't know the two goal rule, so I always gently remind a player that they've got their two goals. The standard procedure for most teams is that they move the player to defense for the rest of the game. I think that this year I actually had more women than men get their two goals. The women usually react to being told with enjoyment, like they're thinking 'even the ref knows I'm a pretty good player.' The guys tend to be in the 'that's a rule?' category. You can be sure, though, that at least one person on the other team is acutely aware of the rule and will remind you of it.

 

Adult co-ed is a mess. I have played it much more than reffed it, because you guys and gals need hazard pay.

I did witness one of my favorite ref/player back and forths, however. I was on a team with 5 averagish other males and two former (low level) D-I females. One of our girls was excellent at positioning her body in a perfect way to let larger males bounce off her and hit the floor. One guy did just that, and looked at the ref for a call. The ref looked at him and said "I'm not going to make that call on the best player in the league." The guy, with obvious pride, said "I don't think I'm quite the best player." The ref laughed and said "No, you aren't. She is."

 

I can't stand adult co-ed. In my experience, the guys that play adult co-ed are the ones that whine and complain the most.

 

Living in a small state, there is no adult men's soccer anywhere. There are one or two co-ed beer leagues. I'd always assumed that if there was men's league the loudmouth jerks in co-ed would go play there and let everyone else have their low-key fun. Guess that isn't the case.

 

Men's and Women's games are much different in that regard. In a Men's game you always hear the loudmouths because 95% of them are loudmouths. In the Women's game it's the opposite. Pretty much the only time I hear anything out of a female player on the pitch is when they want an explanation for a call or you really messed up. That's why in the coed game you only hear the loudmouth man babies.

 

My advice is “Don’t.” I’ve never been a fan.

 

The post by Law 5 pretty much covers co-ed soccer around here. All I would add is that make sure you know the rules of competition for that league. In some leagues any sliding tackle is an automatic yellow, others are IFK and or DFK depending on how the tackle was performed. Some have an automatic cool down period for carded players and other will let the player stay in the game.

I agree with Law 5 in regards to your approach to the game and that if you are having fun and doing your best for all players to have fun and be safe then you will be appreciated.

As far as the voice of the customer talk to the assignor if you are really concerned. However, if the voices as all saying the same thing and you can see their point go ahead and adjust your calls.

 

For me, whining is annoying but it's also the canary in the mine shaft. YMMV, but in my experience, women don't want to hear chatter from the referee. White bread guys need verbal management most of the time. If both teams are yapping, then I probably need to call more. And it's not that rare that one guy is just trying to have you on, to see if you're a regular guy or a referee with a stick up his posterior. I don't find co-ed to be worse than any other league and a lot better than, say, men's O-40 and O-50. Again, YMMV.

 

In addition to good advice already given, I'd recommend checking with others who've done these games for a while. To the extent there are written RoC (!), they may not well capture "the way it is" in your league. As time goes on you can add to that the interactions you have with captains, but that is a resource that takes time to cultivate since both sides need some water under the bridge before there's enough trust to speak frankly in the shadow zone between partisan and neutral.

 

If Tomek is who I think he is, he's reffed me before and was the best we saw. Always took a bit of silliness from me and my friend who played with me but always controlled the game and laughed at us when we did whine.

I'd say just call everything tightly and you won't have issues. I played to get some exercise and have some fun, I quit when aggro younger dudes came in and started getting rough and starting fights. One ref we had called NOTHING and it's the only time I've ever lost my cool while playing a sport. i let things go pretty well, but just call it if you see it.

 

I played co-ed for almost 10 years back in the 80s. One day we had a ref who wasn't calling anything - even when an opponent called one of our women a bitch after she stole the ball from him (again) and she slapped him across the face. The ref did call 1 thing - he cautioned me when I was screaming at him that he needed to do his job before the match got out of hand (it was getting close at that point).

Mostly, playing co-ed was a LOT of fun, and it's where I met my wife. There were 2 other couples that met on that team, and all 3 couples are still together many years later.

 

In Adult Co-Ed soccer, I have found that the lower the skill level, the more strict that I have to be calling fouls. In my experience, the less skill on the field means less knowledge of the game and the players at that level complain about EVERYTHING.

 

A few years ago I played one season of outdoor co-ed rec. I reffed 8 or so matches in the same league over two seasons. Nothing bad happened in any of those games, but I decided to stop doing them anyway. Too many adults acting less mature than the typical U-16 player. Figured I would quit while I was ahead.

Last winter I filled in for a friend on an indoor league game played 6v6 on 1/4 of a full sized pitch. Way too many overweight bodies trying to move full speed in a small space. I tried to referee from on the field and got a couple bruised ribs for my effort. Stupid me, should have stayed away as planned.

 

My co-ed philosophy: ******** this and give me a men's or women's game instead.

 

My experience with adult league (co-ed or otherwise) is none of them have knowledge of the game and all players at all levels complain about everything.

 

And EVERY throw is a foul throw.

 

Our adult league (7v7) solves this problem by not having throws. They place the ball on the ground and kick it back in play Futsal style. Problem solved.

 

Think that's what they do for 7v7 here, too. Not sure if it's universal or just a good idea for fun and simplicity.