Your own personal Satan

Discussion in 'Chicago Fire' started by ratdog, Jun 15, 2011.

  1. ratdog

    ratdog Member+

    Mar 22, 2004
    In the doghouse
    Club:
    Chicago Red Stars
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    OK, so it seems everyone has to have one player that they rag on constantly regardless of how he is actually performing on the field. firefan2001 has Pause. HomietheClown has Pappa. Following their lead, I say we all pick a player upon which top unload our most unhinged and irrational hatred, to bitch about all the time and to blame for everything from declining attendance at TP to unrest in the Middle East.

    I'll go first. (Or third, depending on how you look at it.) Since Mapp is no longer with the Fire and Pappa and Pause are taken, I'll just draw a name out of a hat here....

    And the name is...

    heh. Mike Banner. How ironic considering I'm the only Fire fan who actually wants him on the roster. Er, I mean, until now, that is... Well, you can't argue with the Norns, I suppose.

    So, damn you, Mikey, you made Clint Dempsey miss that open goal last night! And you kill our attack - from the bench. That's how bad you are!

    OK, who's with me?

    --------

    There was a young sailor from Brighton
    Who said to his girl, "You're a tight 'un."
    She replied, "Pon my soul,
    You're in the wrong hole.
    There's plenty of room in the right 'un."
     
  2. Count Chocula

    Count Chocula Member+

    May 7, 2010
    Cedar Falls, IA
    Club:
    Tottenham Hotspur FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    *gets out the pitchforks and torches*
     
  3. HomietheClown

    HomietheClown Member+

    Dusselheim FC 1971
    Sep 4, 2010
    Club:
    --other--
    This is not true.

    Every time I see Pappa he plays poorly or is inconsistent.

    He has his flashes of brilliance and then tries to take on 3 defenders and loses the ball.

    If he plays a whole game well I will give him his due...

    ... but that'll be the day.
     
  4. LocoGueroFutobolista

    Apr 18, 2004
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Mine? Oh, mine is easy. Jon Conway. We will not hoist a trophy with him in the city. Hell, county. Can't we trade him for a bag of balls? He must not be on the roster.
     
  5. ratdog

    ratdog Member+

    Mar 22, 2004
    In the doghouse
    Club:
    Chicago Red Stars
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    See, that's the spirit! You're an inspiration for those us new to this whole monomaniacally unreasoning vitriol thing. I salute you, sir.

    I'm writing a song to express my now undying loathing of Mike Banner. Here's what I have so far...

    title: "Mike Banner, I Do Not Like U"

    U'r presence on my team
    makes me hurt
    I cry when I see U
    put on a Fire shirt

    U must be loco if U think
    I want U to play
    If U showed up at my tailgate
    I'd tell U to go away

    It's a work in progress

    -----

    A virgin with eyes that were blue,
    Was told that it's sinful to screw.
    So she rubbed on her clit,
    But swore that she'd quit,
    At least in the next year or two.
     
  6. Der Stich

    Der Stich Member+

    May 3, 2005
    Chicago
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    I'm trying to decide whether I hate Alec Dufty more than I hate Pari Pantazopoulos. I hate the goalkeeper because I always want to spell his name "Alex Duffy" but the f*cker won't change it to accommodate my whims. And don't get me started on Pantazopoulos. The a$$hole doesn't even have the decency to to do something awful so I can legitimately hate him. Jerk.

    Maybe I will just hate on Marko Maric. That pr1ck makes too much money and what has he ever done to earn it? C0cksucker.
     
  7. Iceblink

    Iceblink Member

    Oct 11, 1999
    Chicago
    Club:
    Ipswich Town FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    My personal Satan:

    Dr. Megan Leahy - Team Podiatrist!

    WTF Megan?!

    Obviously there is an issue with this team's feet! Logan Pause's feet are obviously on backwards rendering him unable to pass forwards. Jon Conway's feet have some kind of sudden paralysis that causes the inability to move them half the time when the ball is shot. Nyarko can't move his feet in order to shoot in the last third of the field.

    ******** you, Dr. Megan! You missed your calling! You should have focused on De Los Cobos's Rectal craniectomy.
     
  8. LocoGueroFutobolista

    Apr 18, 2004
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    rep'd. thanks for the laugh
     
  9. HomietheClown

    HomietheClown Member+

    Dusselheim FC 1971
    Sep 4, 2010
    Club:
    --other--
    Pappa looked like his old bad self today. Taking on three defenders and either losing the ball or shooting it to the moon.
     
  10. mvktr2

    mvktr2 New Member

    Nov 13, 2009
    Mississippi
    Club:
    Los Angeles Galaxy
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I'll join the fun and choose Conway for MPS. Yep dude moves between the pipes like he's got a pant-load. Good thing you didn't start this thread a few weeks back or there would have been major fighting with everyone choosing Cobos for MPS!

    Suppose with my first BS-Fire post ripping on a player I should introduce myself and say hello fellow Fire fans. I'm stuck in the soccer badlands of the southeast without a semi-local team to support... heck not even a regional team. Thus I chose one established team and one expansion team from each side as I began following MLS a few years ago. Originally following LA & Chicago but adding Seattle & Philadelphia as they were added to the league. Don't hate me for it... or perhaps I could be someone's MPS! :eek:

    Phillip
     
  11. Redmaynard

    Redmaynard Member

    May 20, 2007
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    After today? Baggio. Easy.
     
  12. snkscore

    snkscore Member+

    Jun 24, 2007
    La Grange, IL
    I second the notion.
     
  13. Chris M.

    Chris M. Member+

    Jan 18, 2002
    Chicago
    Is there any chance Paladini was given 85 minutes today as a going away present?
     
  14. snkscore

    snkscore Member+

    Jun 24, 2007
    La Grange, IL
    I hope so, because if Baggio isn't my personal Satan, Paladini surely is.
     
  15. rednow.red4ever

    Mar 30, 2007
    Chicago
    Club:
    Chicago Fire
    Nat'l Team:
    --other--
  16. ceezmad

    ceezmad Member+

    Mar 4, 2010
    Chicago
    Club:
    Chicago Red Stars
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Pavel Pardo!


    :mad:
     

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