Russians Mate Men with Bears.....Form Beast Army! Oh, wait....was this supposed to be about elections?
CONGRESS PASSES OCULAR PENETRATION RESTRICTION ACT OF 2007 http://www.theonion.com/content/video/live_from_congress_the_skull
A man identified only as someone who posts under the screenname "nicephoras" on the BigSoccer messageboards has won the latest Powerball lottery as well as a Nobel prize. Oh, about elections? In a shocking vote Mark Warner has won the Democratic primary; will tab Evan Bayh as running mate.
This would make a cool headline: 'Jessica Alba takes one month vacation in Bora Bora with Argentine immigrant'
"Barak Obama secretly visits Pakistan, finds Osama Bin Laden and strangles him. Opponents accuse him of political grandstanding and interfeering with government business."
Wednesday November 5th, 2008 Democrats Takes Presidency With 49 States Obama becomes nation's first black president, Richard first Hispanic Vice-President; Oklahoma State Legislature Announces Plans to Secede
In a shallow authentic voice over__ The Cubs win. The Cubs win. The Cubs win. Okay maybe it was Bulls....
THOMPSON/PAUL WIN!!! New Prez: "All I really care about is the war, I'll let Ron handle domestic policy"