You know you are in a red state when...

argentine soccer fan · Nov 5, 2004

Your neighbors think 'Puff the Magic Dragon' was a tribute to JR Tolkien.

GringoTex · Nov 5, 2004

your idea of AIDS activism is buying a ticket to "Rent"

Chicago1871 · Nov 5, 2004

Your pickup truck has never had a bumpersticker with the words "honor student" on it other than the hillbilly classic "my kid beat up your honor student."

argentine soccer fan · Nov 5, 2004

people's definition of an intelectual is someone who reads CS Lewis.

Chicago1871 · Nov 5, 2004

The only books in your house are propping up tables.

Chicago1871 · Nov 5, 2004

The mailbox in front of your house says "male" on it.

argentine soccer fan · Nov 5, 2004

People carry an old worn out copy of the US constitution in their shirt's front pocket and the second ammendment is underlined.

fatmaradona · Nov 5, 2004

-- full figured means 100 lbs overweight

-- skinny means 20 lbs overweight

-- Applebees is considered a night out, reservations required

-- the local bar closes at 10 pm

-- you think your town is friendly, yet despise all outsiders

-- you think Jesus came to help us better condemn others

Mattbro · Nov 5, 2004

bojendyk said:

. . . Leather pants and mustaches are actually considered signs of serious heterosexuality.
Click to expand...

You live in Germany?

argentine soccer fan · Nov 5, 2004

Your neighbor shoots your dogs because they won't stop barking, and you call the local militia leaders to settle the dispute.