While Gunners are touring Asia....the new Summer Transfer thread

Let's be clear about something, I don't want Robin van Persie dead.






I want him kept alive in a windowless subterranean concrete chamber, where nothing but The Wanted and New Direction are played--not at a loud volume, a soft volume, a volume soft enough to allow him to sleep but to pervade all of his dreams. I want vultures to pick at his flesh, while at night his wounds are healed for the next day. I want the IRA to drill into his kneecaps with a screwgun. I want the biggest, meanest gay dom porn star (sorry, don't know any names) to ******** him in the butthole for three hours a day. I want the only food available in this concrete chamber to be sauerkraut and dodgy doner kebab. I want him to be strapped down while tub girl takes bath salts, eats his face off, and then shits it right back into where his mouth once was. I want that one Bond villain to hit his nuts with a knotted rope while he sits on a bottomless chair. I want his only sourece of entertainment to be Marouane Chamakh compilation videos from Youtube, all of them with that one Fort Minor song as the backing soundtrack. I want his only cellmates to be Ashley Cole and Piers Morgan. I want him to be forced to wear a pink wig and a rainbow-colored tutu and sing "Firework" while Russell Brand shags him. And throughout all this, I want him to be administered dangerously high levels of LSD.

 

This threads off to a great start.

 

That's how I feel about Cliff Richard.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I move that we stop now. This is the single best post in the history of online bulletin boards.

 

WELL I DON'T EITHER! I SWEAR! Oh, no one was looking at me? I, uh, yeah. Haha. Acting natural.

 

well played, sir. well played.

considering what the bids currently are, honestly, i would just as soon keep him. if he wants the same big contract he feels he deserves/is going to get this year, he's going to need to perform. at an extremely high level. if he does anything less than be a monster, he's going to kill the offers he's going to get more than it already is going to be (considering what his age will be, his injury history and the fact that his value is currently at about as high as it likely will be).

either way . . . either we get a performance that's more worth it than a 8-12M (given what a good performance will be worth to us in terms of league position and champion's league qualification) or, if we don't, we made a stand and aren't punked by manchester united or juventus. not to mention, and i know this seems petty, pretty well ********ed his chance of getting that pretty contract - that HAS to be worth something right?

y'know, robin would team up magnificently with ibrahimovic (that would be an insanely skilled pairing, in my opinion). can we get PSG in on this?

 

for the record, i know it doesn't fly with currently popular opinion but i have no problem with him wanting out. if he wants out, he can leave. good luck to him, i will happily root on the next player to pull on our shirt. i don't want to see him in our uniform anymore, i don't want to be rooting for him nor do i want anything to do with him anymore (much the same as with fabregas). but i don't want to either be punked by those teams nor would i want to see us cutting our nose to spite our face either.

 

what i don't get is why barcelona has shown zero interest so far. i cannot think of another striker in the world who is a better fit for their technical passing game and, while they have a crap ton of amazing players out of the midfield, they could really use somebody up front, leading that line and linking in the attacking midfielders.

ibrahimovic is probably the closest one with those skillset beside van persie but that ship sailed. i know villa is coming back but i don't think he's the line leader they really need like van persie could be.

 

maybe they dont want to take a risk on a 28 year old that's injury prone. I guess they would rather develop.

 

Barca dont need RVP. Villa is back, and in case they somehow lose him, they dont even really need to play with a striker.

 

Why, why, why did I google that?!?!

 

Let me help you out here. Stay away from blue waffles, pain olympics, 2 girls 1 cup, goatse, and approach everything else with caution. The internet is full of that stuff.

 

Barca can play without a striker, indeed they can play better without one than most teams play with one, but a world class striker would certainly improve their squad.

Having said that RvP wont be going to Barca

75% to ManC
15% to Juve
7% staying
3% to ManU

 

Yeah, i mean why would they do that, not like they have a history of that... *Looks at Henry...*

 

In all honesty, with the transfer fees that are being quoted, it makes much more sense for us to keep him than sell him. For lots of reasons beyond Robin alone.

 

Those bids for RvP will go up though. This is just round 1, although we might reach a point when RvP has to put in a transfer request to 'adjust' his fee.

 

How much would we save if he hands in a transfer request?

 

^ Somewhere in the region of 5 million euros, if I remember correctly.

 

on the topic of putting a team together, is there an arsenal bigsoccer fantasy league yet?

 

I'm hearing that City want to send Dzeko + money to Arsenal in exchange for RvP. How do you guys feel about that?

 

Damn it, Deadalus, look what you did!

 

no thanks

 

Why not? He's leaving either way.