Which Benny Do You Prefer - Grizzly or Smooth?

Discussion in 'D.C. United' started by Hedbal, Sep 2, 2007.

  1. Hedbal

    Hedbal Member+

    Jul 31, 2000
    DC
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I doubt that the official statistics can help us much here, but does Ben Olsen play better with the Grizzly Adams look or after a session with Mr. Gillette? Is there some way to divide his goals and assists into two categories; bearded and unbearded? And if so, shouldn't we (and Coach Tommy) demand that he favor the look which brings him the most success? Should his new wife have a say in this?
     
  2. peridigm

    peridigm Member

    Apr 19, 2007
    MD
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Uhhh, are you male or female?
     
  3. Hedbal

    Hedbal Member+

    Jul 31, 2000
    DC
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    100% hetero male, but at my age it doesn't make much difference.

    FYI, the purpose of the thread was to determine whether Ben plays better when sporting his backwoodsman look or when he cleans up and looks more respectable. Once this is determined, we should demand that he maintain that look for all future games. Last night he was grizzled, but not as hairy as I've seen him, and he scored twice. Does anybody know the state of his beard when he dropped three on the Red Heifers?
     
  4. AlecW81

    AlecW81 Member

    Oct 20, 2005
    Durham, NC
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    He performs better with some scruff. All real men do. That's why teams start sporting beards and mustaches during the playoffs in other sports, that's why General Mattis had us growing "war-staches" the first time around in the sandbox. I subscribe to this belief as well, as my finest rugby performance thus far was with some scruff on my face, my hair a bit unruly, and the #14 on my jersey. Coincidence? I think not.
     
  5. bouncingsoul44

    bouncingsoul44 New Member

    Jun 10, 2007
    Philadelphia, PA
    Club:
    Reading FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I still can't tell if you're kidding or serious.
     
  6. peridigm

    peridigm Member

    Apr 19, 2007
    MD
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    I think he went a day without shaving.
     
  7. MagpieFan

    MagpieFan Member+

    Apr 25, 2004
    Back in DC
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    So like a good solid inch of beard there then? ;)
     
  8. tallguy

    tallguy Member+

    Sep 15, 2004
    MoCoLand, MD
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    No. This one is way too important for Olsen's wife to have any say in this.

    I'd have to say that hairy look brings Olsen the most success.
     
  9. SavannahFan

    SavannahFan New Member

    Nov 8, 2005
    RFK Section 135
    Club:
    DC United
    I like the version that scores multiple goals all game long. :D



    But while we are on the subject, has anyone else noticed that the guy in this commercial, that steals the car, looks an awful lot like Grizzly Ben...?


    [youtube]U_U_d-_I_Jc[/youtube]
     
  10. rwhgeek

    rwhgeek Member

    Aug 5, 2002
    Richmond, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    All discussions on this board are 100% serious all the time. Any and all attempts at humor are met with a board of inquiry by a group of his/her peers at which time the comments are analyzed for seriousity. If the comments are lacking in the proper level of decorum that we have come to expect the source of the "kidding" is forced to drink RedBull and then lead the Barra in an indepth discussion of "War and Peace".

    To the matter at hand, Benny is better when shaggy. I have no facts to back this up and since I drink when I watch soccer I am often not even sure which player Ben is.
     
  11. sch2383

    sch2383 New Member

    Feb 14, 2003
    Northern Virginia
    This thread is pointless. Even if Benny starts the match off smooth, by the end he has some stubble.
     
  12. Sundevil9

    Sundevil9 New Member

    Nov 23, 1999
    Reston, VA
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Sir, what you say is impossible.


    Because even if he shaved just before walking out through the team tunnel, he'd likely have stubble before the game started.:D

    Maybe if he shaved during the team photo he'd have a chance of starting off smooth.;)
     
  13. sch2383

    sch2383 New Member

    Feb 14, 2003
    Northern Virginia
    Actually, that is what the rookies are for, shaving Ben's beard as he is walking out.
     
  14. BigKris

    BigKris Member

    Jan 17, 2005
    Falls Church, VA
    Anyone here read the book "Cryptonomicon"?

    Suffice it to say, y'all are creepin' me out.
     
  15. rorrim

    rorrim Member

    Aug 26, 2006
    Maryland
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Repped. Thanks for the laugh!
     
  16. Blondie4DCU

    Blondie4DCU New Member

    Aug 25, 2005
    DC
    so much to say -

    First, the scruffy Benny is the only way to go, but in order to maintain the scruff look and not the groomed beard look, it must be periodically shaved (?) and regrown.

    Cryptinomicon is a hell of a book, but I'm missing the reference, but there's ALOT in it so I don't feel bad.

    and YES, that guy in the commercial looks eerily like Benny - First thing I thought when I saw it and now I don't like the commercial b/c I don't like the idea of some bizarro benny stealing cars.

    ok... so there it is.
     
  17. sch2383

    sch2383 New Member

    Feb 14, 2003
    Northern Virginia
    Speaking of Ben, anybody else catch his mug in the Sunday Source section of the Post? He was one of the "local celebs" giving their off the path places to take people in the area. He said bike rides at night, seriously.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/08/30/AR2007083001516_5.html
     
  18. RedAndBlack

    RedAndBlack New Member

    Jun 28, 2007
    Maryland
    So your saying you are at the age where you can give or receive from behind:confused::eek::D
     
  19. Hedbal

    Hedbal Member+

    Jul 31, 2000
    DC
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I wouldn't dream of it.

    What I DO dream about is the golden years of my youth, when the sap was rising. Now there's not much sap. But enough about me.... The poll seems to show that the shaggy Ben is the scoring machine, so that's the Ben I want to see in every match.
     
  20. Mighty!

    Mighty! Member

    Apr 19, 2007
    DC
    Club:
    DC United
  21. MattMathai

    MattMathai BigSoccer Supporter

    Jun 28, 2004
    Annapolis
    Mighty!, check your PMs...
     
  22. skippy

    skippy Member

    Nov 17, 1999
    Alexandria, Virginia
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Isn't it wonderful how almost anything can become a joke about sexual orientation? High five for the Todd.

    [​IMG]
     
  23. Vasco

    Vasco New Member

    Jun 8, 2003
    RIO
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Brazil
    well, saturday night, when i saw the beard, i told the misses that benny was going to have a good game.

    why she said, i replied he is growing the beard back.
    she replied oh ya
     
  24. John L

    John L Member+

    Sep 20, 2003
    Alexandria, VA
    The problem is that Benny's "Smooth" look is the same as anyone else's "Grizzly" look
     
  25. paladius

    paladius Member

    Sep 27, 2003
    Frisco, Texas
    Club:
    FC Dallas
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Grizzly makes him look like a homeless person.
     

Share This Page