New to the boards, thank you to all who have contributed to the youth discussion. I am curious on everyone's perspectives on the thread Q. I have two sons, oldest just turned 6, youngest is 3. With the older one, I have seen glimpses of reasons to be excited about his development in the sport. That said, it's far from linear, especially at his age... and further, I did not play the sport growing up (basketball), so I'm doing my best to learn how to support him if it becomes the path he chooses. His soccer experience and my perspective so far: - LOTS of fun with dad and brother at home. Small games outside. In the street (its a dead end), inside, at the beach... keeping it fun and creative. TBF, this also includes basketball, tennis, football and pickle ball, though the ratio is 80 soccer / 20 everything else. Beginning at age 4 ish to present. - Age 5 (spring); signed him up a for-profit league designed around learning, fun, and basic competition. Ages 4-7. He was timid at first but his competitive side emerged and he looked forward to playing each week, at least for one season. We also had him in a multi-sport camp and a soccer camp in the summer. - Age 5 (fall); played in the school rec league and absolutely tore it up. It was eye opening from my perspective, as I hadn't seen this side of him before. As a standout player, he was invited to the pre-travel team alongside rec, which meant he trained with the U8 club team all fall in addition to rec, and then played in two tournaments at the end of the year. He did better than I expected, against older kids. - Age 5-6 (winter); playing indoor rec and attending free spot training opportunities for some of the "elite" clubs in our area (we are in the Philly burbs - so think feeder clubs to the Phila. Union academy). He fits in well with the 7 year olds. I am not going to sign him up for travel ball this year, even though he could probably make one of the U8 teams, as I don't think he's mature enough to commit to that year-round. I also think it's unnecessary pressure and I want to keep if fun for him at this age. That said, I've seen many posts on here and on social media, noting the differences in soccer development for american kids vs multi-sport and all of those relevant threads. I am asking the question to prepare for commitments are required down the road, and whether all of that is evident by age XX. In other sports, it tends to show up later than soccer... or at least that's what my assumption is in catching up on how soccer athletes are developed. Please correct me if I'm off on that too! If anyone on here is in the Philly area, please give me a shout! Thank you for sharing in advance!
I think this sort of thinking is not on pace at all at this age. Just keep it fun. Fun = passion and passion leads to drive which will elevate all aspects of the sport. However one bad coach, team, injury and even a change in friends that drive other interests can lead to your player(s) losing interest. It's a marathon - not a sprint. Keep em happy with a coach that develops players - the one's who get on their knees to speak with your player face to face and is not afraid to lose games in order to develop players.
Just making sure I'm following - he's going to play rec still in the spring, but you're not planning for him to do the travel team alongside of it? 1) I'd make sure you ask him what he wants to do. 2) If the travel ball is more his level, maybe do that and not rec? I think either is fine so long as you're also still playing as a family for those extra touches on the ball - that gets harder as they get older and have competing interests (usually increased screen time). I think you'll know if you're on the club/higher level path by U9/U10. If they're on a top team in the area and doing well, you're probably locked in for at least until U13/U14 which is kind of the next age when competing interests cause dropouts.
I like the marathon analogy and keeping it fun, that makes sense. We do ask him what he wants to do every season (he’s also done flag football, swimming, and ninja warrior alongside soccer), though I don’t think he’s old enough to grasp the idea that doing travel ball is a full year commitment. To him, asking what he wants to do is a decision for the next 37 seconds only haha Thank you for your perspective.
I underestimated if he had "it". I did that as a protection for myself. I simply looked at the numbers of kids on fields and multiplied by the percentage of kids that continued to play at a high level and mathematically knew it wasnt close to being an option. I didn't want to dream and put that onto him, he had to be the driver of his athletic dreams. That being said, one could argue that he had it and one could argue that he doesn't have it. For me, there were some signs that he was a bit different. He was really good at 3, 4, and 5 year old soccer because he the rules. I figured it would even out soon. In 3rd grade his club team accidentally put them in the top division in the state. They got their brains beat in weekly. There was a parent meeting with the DOC and they expressed their displeasure and how their kid wasn't enjoying it. That was new to me as he loved every game and had a great time. So I knew he was different. In the subsequent years on full field where he would "take over the game". Basically, when his team needed a goal he'd dominate until they got what they needed. That is not to say he coasted the other times of the game, rather he had heightened awareness of the situation. But, he was at a smaller club and playing big clubs B and C teams. He was on the state's ODP team in 5th and 6th grade. He was good for his age group but I wouldn't have said he had "it" then either. He was even dropped in 7th grade. He was back on in 8th grade and even traveled to the regional tournament. He was invited to play at the MLS academy in 9th grade. He was better than regular kids but I would say he had "it" as he wasn't a top 5 player on his team and maybe not top 10. He was invited to a USYNT camp. He went to every tournament in the 2 year cycle and started half the games. But, other players were better and have gone on to much grander things so I don't know that he had "it". After Covid he signed a contract. He was eventually let go by the organization. So, again, I don't know if he had it. He seems to have leveled out in the USL. He's about ready to start his 7th season. He's played in over 100 games. I still don't know if you'd say he has "it". He's not a superstar. He's struggled many times. He's content in that he feels he's put in his quarter. There were things he did where you could say he had it but I always assumed there'd be better players along the way.
That is a fascinating perspective thank you for the full detail. I think your son's journey captures the love of the game, even if you didn't deliberately spell it out, as he just kept playing, testing himself, leaning into opportunities but not forcing the issue on a make or break path. Discounting the expectations as a parent makes a ton of sense, as the data is staggering when you do the math on who makes it in any sport. I think that is the right approach. Back to my original question, I guess where I'm coming from, in other sports, sometimes you can just look at a kid at an early age and just spot the raw talent or physical attributes (kids dunking in 6th grade, throwing gas as a young pitcher or blasting HRs as a couple of examples I've witnessed). Hence the "IT" factor. In soccer, it seems to me at least, that those skills are more subtle and baked into a muscle memory over time for stand out players. Consistency, awareness, having a tool kit for different situations on the field. Using those prodigy examples from other sports... it's not like witnessing a bicycle kick from an 11 year old means anything in the long-run. Or am I off on that assumption? Again, my understanding is somewhat limited here, not growing up around the sport. Thanks!
I think the prevailing wisdom is that trying to project anything before puberty is pretty pointless. Have them play on a team where they're challenged, foster whatever individual work they're wanting to do, encourage/facilitate pickup games with friends for fun, and then see where the chips fall.