The fact is, a stranger, on a train, well-meaning as she may be, can say nothing to these children to change their behavior. Who knows who they are, and what rage is boiling inside them, and why? Why confront people, in a meaningless situation, where no physical harm is being done to anyone? Not worth it. Trying to alter behavior with a remark is like giving a dollar to a beggar on the street: is that going to change the real underlying situation?? Unlikely. Still, here are options. One is to inform the transit police that a train is being vandalized, and let them take care of it. As you exit the train, tell them they need to get off at the next stop, because someone with a badge is going to be waiting for them. But only do that if you are exiting in a public place and they aren't following you. Another is to say to the kid, assuming it's true, "Hey you have some artistic talent. You should do that on paper." Turn the negative into a positive. It may not work, but it's worth a try.
The answer is you do nothing in front of them. You don't confront them, you don't talk to them. You just move to the other end of the car. If you want to get involved you can get out at the next stop, find a cop, report them, and move along with your life. But NEVER stick your neck out. I hate saying that, really, since I'd like to think that people have some general sense of public decency and it's up to all of us to get together against people like this who violate it. But fact is, nobody puts their neck out for others virtually anywhere if the outcome is not certain from the start. It's true on subways where the kid might pull out a weapon, and it's true in Capitol Hill where the electorate might vote you out if you raise their taxes regardless of the reason why. It's true in international relations where some little country has a big-country ally, it's true at the Thankgiving family dinner table, it's true everywhere. Only pick fights that you are 100% sure of winning. The writer should have done nothing, walked away, stewed about the kid for the rest of her day, and gotten over it. It's the American Way.
I never would've been so rude to an adult. My father would've knocked me into next week if he had known about it. Seriously, those kids could use a good smack upside the head from a father or father figure. Hell, she should've just notified the Metro police. If the kids are willing to threaten people with violence, then they are ready to deal with the po-lice.
I wouldnt have said anything to the kids if they was drawing or scratching the subway. BUT having said that, if I saw what went on go down and the lady was being talked to that way I would tell the kid if there was a problem and that if he wants to keep HIS FACE(not just his jacket) he should get off at the next stop. The bottom line is if you're going to butt into other people's business, then you should be prepared for a confontration of some sorts. What surprises me is that this lady somehow thought that these kids were going to be polite and hang their heads in shame. If you want vandalism to stop you're not going to do it by asking kids not to do it. Cause what happens when you're not there? Besides its just a fooking piece of metal that can be cleaned off when the train goes for cleaning.
Actually, blaming the government for her problems and suing the Metro system for the psychological distress caused to her by the confrontation would have been "the American Way".
I'd report it to the police. Threatening a person with violence and theft is a Class 1 Misdemeanor, just the same as vandalism. The problem is, there's no simple solution. The safest thing is to simply ignore everything from the beginning--don't confront the kid don't put yourself in danger. That's what we have police FOR. The vigilante approach is never appropriate. Once she made her initial mistake (and let's make no bones about it, that's exactly what it was), she should have put the case into the hands of the proper authorities. The kid obviously wasn't going to back down, and further escalated the tension by threatening her. Backing off teaches the kid that he can get away with whatever he wants by acting violently or threatening to do so. The only thing you can do is follow through. Any other action is merely aiding, abetting and exacerbating the problem. Let the police do their job.
I had a similar experience once on the PATH train between NY and NJ. I was with my wife, the train was full and we were standing in a corner of the train. As we were about to depart World Trade Center, bound for Hoboken (if memory serves me), a group of about 6 kids ranging in age from about 10-15 or 16 or so jumped aboard. As soon as they entered the car most people rolled their eyes, they looked like hudlums with no adult supervision. These kids decide to stand next to my wife and I and almost immediately start horseing around, talking loud, cursing, the works. As the horseplay quickly excalated they took out of their pockets those aerosol cans that shoot out that stringy foam. So they start shooting at each other, missing and hitting other people, all the while adults aren't saying crap, me included, and some just decide to stand up and walk to the opposite side of the car. My wife and I are trapped, since we were standing in the corner, soon one of the youner morons in the bunch brushes up against my wife. I quickly and sternly pushed the little F$%cker back, and said something like 'Yo chill'. The older kid in the bunch didn't like that and started staring me down, I swear I was ready to pounce on him if he reached in his bulky clothing. He started verbally confronting me saying crap like 'don't mess with his boy' and other non-sensical things. I wasn't interested in pursuing his verbal challenge so I just continued staring at him dead in the eyes until the train finally arrived. The doors opened, I had my wife walk in front of my as we walked by them and exited. Most of the people exited as well, even though it didn't appear it was their intended stop. All the other adults on the train were like in a state of shock, wouldn't open their moves, and were terrified to death. I was a mid-twenties adult at the time, fwiw, and I'm happy that the group was relatively young and they didn't brandish any weapons.