What is the worst movie ever?

Discussion in 'Movies, TV and Music' started by jjayg, Jul 26, 2002.

  1. bungadiri

    bungadiri Super Moderator
    Staff Member

    Jan 25, 2002
    Acnestia
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    This post and the discussion following remind me of a film I saw as an undergrad, called "Window, Water, Baby Moving" (shown to us by no less than Jonas Mekas, who was a guest lecturer). This short is a classic of the cinema veritae school, and consists of playful, home-movie-esque footage of a naked young pregnant woman in a bath tub (a round zinc one) who eventually gives (home) birth, all on film. The filmaker does cool stuff like play with the afterbirth, etc. It was made (I think) in late fifties and had people in the art houses passing out in the aisles. Probably not the worst film ever made (I recall being fascinated, but then at that time I'd not yet done the Lamaze thing), but Mekas described a film made by another practitioner of cinema veritae (sorry, don't remember the name) who put his toddler son in front of a camera with a ball and let whatever happened happen. Apparently the kid just crawled off. Interesting to talk about, but probably not much fun to watch.
     
  2. bungadiri

    bungadiri Super Moderator
    Staff Member

    Jan 25, 2002
    Acnestia
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    My wife and I were stuck watching this piece of crap to the end, because we were with people who thought it was "great, really powerful" and actually teared up during Pacino's funeral speech.

    Which reminds me:

    All That Jazz (have I got the title right? it's the one about Bob Fosse)
     
  3. fiddlestick

    fiddlestick New Member

    Jul 17, 2001
    The 4 8 0
    Space Camp
    Iron Eagle 2
    Flash Gordon (minus the Queen soundtrack, it's worthless)
    Anything with Ellen Degeneres in it
    Big Top Pee Wee
    The Air Up There
    Earth Girls Are Easy

    Jesus there are some bad movies out there.
     
  4. DoctorJones24

    DoctorJones24 Member

    Aug 26, 1999
    OH
    Return to Salem's Lot is the only movie I've every walked out of...and it was way back in HS. Went to a matinee with some friends, and about 45 minutes in, we somehow collectively decided to stop wasting out time. And believe me, our time was NOT worth much!
     
  5. CG

    CG Member

    Jul 25, 2001
    The WORST movie ever: Messenger. About a guy who gets his bike stolen and spends the whole movie looking for it(kind of important since he is a bike messenger). It so bad that imdb.com doesn't even have a synopsis of it. The tag line is:For them all that stood between dignity and despair was a bicycle.


    http://us.imdb.com/Details?0110498


    Also: Robin Hood Men in Tights(only movie I've ever even considered walking out of the theatre on)
     
  6. Daniel from Montréal

    Aug 4, 2000
    Montréal
    Club:
    Montreal Impact
    Nat'l Team:
    Canada
    As a reference, this seems like a modern version of "The Bicycle Thief", a landmark movie and general classic in Italian neorealism from 1948.

    http://us.imdb.com/Title?0040522
     
  7. CrewStadium227

    CrewStadium227 New Member

    Jul 9, 1999
    Columbus,Ohio,USA
    The Postman was based on a really great book. Too bad the botched the movie so badly.

    I haven't seen Alien Resurrection. That's the 4th Alien movie. In my book, the third Alien movie was already high on the list of all-time stinkers (perhaps #1). It did such a thorough job a trashing a great franchise that I didn't bother to see the fourth one.
     
  8. jmh30

    jmh30 New Member

    Apr 15, 2002
    Brooklyn, NY
    Club:
    Fulham FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I still vote for Santa With Muscles.
     
  9. Daksims

    Daksims New Member

    Jun 27, 2001
    Colorado
    G.I. Jane - I'm not sure it's the worst movie ever made, but I sure hate it the most. I left BUD/S a couple of weeks before Demi came to visit. I was hoping for an semi-accurate depiction since they took the trouble to visit. I was totally wrong. I walked out of the movie about three-quarters of the way through.

    Off the subject, I heard a funny story about when Demi visited BUD/S from one of my friends who made it through. One of the BUD/S classes (don't remember which one, it was somewhere from 205-210) was doing PT on the grinder while Demi was observing. They were in the middle of an exercise called "Good Morning, Darlings" where you sit on your butt with your back off the ground and your legs elevated and from there you open your legs and close them. Some background before I go further - Due to extreme chafing, SEALs for the most part do not wear underwear. They freeball it. Well, the instructor is up on the podium leading the evolution in these tight tan extremely short shorts (there was a name for them but I forget what they're called) and his ballsack falls out. He just grins at Demi and just keeps going with his ballsack hanging out the whole time. I would have paid to see Demi's reaction. Anyway, I thought it was hilarious.
     
  10. irishFS1921

    irishFS1921 New Member

    Aug 2, 2002
    WB05 Compound
    Stealth Fighter- Ice-T wrote and produced this debacle of a film. probably the worst thing i have ever seen. however there is a scene where two men one looking like sadaam hussien sells three M-16's to a man looking like Billy Joel and they are subsequintly blown up by Ice-T with a sidewinder missile. i cried i was laughing so hard. but every other minute i felt like i was dying.
     
  11. fiddlestick

    fiddlestick New Member

    Jul 17, 2001
    The 4 8 0
    I can't believe no one has mentioned that absolute disaster Pele was in "Hotshot." That was abyssmal.
     
  12. DoctorJones24

    DoctorJones24 Member

    Aug 26, 1999
    OH
    Caught the first 20 minutes of "Reindeer Games" on tv last night.

    "And a new contestant enters the arena!"
     
  13. otterulz

    otterulz Member

    Arsenal, Atleti
    South Korea
    Jun 20, 2002
    LIC, NY
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    The Air Up There starring Kevin Bacon and some tall guy from Africa.
     
  14. Smiley321

    Smiley321 Member

    Apr 21, 2002
    Concord, Ca
    As far as David Lynch goes, "The Elephant Man" and "Blue Velvet" were two great movies.

    However, his version of "Dune" qualifies as one of the top stinkers (just in being such a huge disappointment) I'd read the book and still found it hard to follow the movie

    "Popeye" is my most memorable awful comedy, one of the few times I walked out of the theater early. I still have a grudge against Robin Williams for that one. I waited 45 minutes for something funny, but after 15 I knew it wasn't coming

    Also, a stupid Disney rip-off of Star Wars called "The Black Hole" was as pathetic as they come.

    These stand out because they had plenty of budget, stars and had aspirations, yet they stunk on ice.
     
  15. Doctor Stamen

    Doctor Stamen New Member

    Nov 14, 2001
    In a bag with a cat.
    I thought the much maligned Waterworld wasn't that bad, but that isn't the point of this thread.

    As far as Big budget films go, Titanic stinks of gold plated poo. I may have nominated this already, but to spend so much money, and have Kate Winslet in (for looks alone), the product should be better. They even had Celine Dion doing the song !!!.

    Pearl Harbour may be worse, but I haven't seen it. Nor Enemy at the Gates, which is a love story set in Stalingrad I believe (please correct me if I'm wrong). If I am right, it sounds like a Mel Brooks movie, but without the humour.

    But you have to see Ator:Fighting Eagle, it's so bad it's painful to watch.

    P.S. The Black Hole was shite, and it can disappear up Walt's.................;).
     
  16. DoctorJones24

    DoctorJones24 Member

    Aug 26, 1999
    OH
    Amen
     
  17. Chris_Bailey

    Chris_Bailey Member+

    Feb 28, 2000
    Chicago
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    I can't believe noone in here has mentioned the all time shittiest film you could ever sit 90 minutes for:


    "Bug Buster"



    Just watch, really drunk or something...
     
  18. hangthadj

    hangthadj Member+

    A.S. Roma
    Mar 27, 2001
    Zone 14
    Club:
    Columbus Crew
    Con Air without a doubt, don't know what possesed me to see it.
    Also, The River Wild
     
  19. Smiley321

    Smiley321 Member

    Apr 21, 2002
    Concord, Ca
    If you're looking for a lousy movie that's hilarious, "The Incredible Melting Man" ranks up there with Plan 9. The jokes write themselves, you can watch it with friends and everyone will be a comedian.
     
  20. phats_away

    phats_away Member

    Jul 28, 2001
    Atlanta, Ga
    frogs
    i hate b scifi movies, got dragged into it, and it sucked
    it wasn't even funny bad
    just bad
     
  21. mikelley037

    mikelley037 New Member

    Aug 7, 2002
    cable guy, the air up there, mr baseball with tom selleck, space camp, the chase, welcome to the dollhouse, unbreakable, home for the holidays, surf ninjas, 3 ninjas return, blair witch project, chairman of the board with carrot top
     
  22. bungadiri

    bungadiri Super Moderator
    Staff Member

    Jan 25, 2002
    Acnestia
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    There's Something About Mary

    basically an extended I Love Lucy episode with potty mouth, and so successful that virtually all "funny" movies made in Hollywood follow this formula, thus not the worst for what it is, but the worst for it's effect on the world
     
  23. Cannon

    Cannon Member

    Arsenal
    United States
    Sep 2, 2001
    Washington, DC metro
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Ok. I have to call you on this one. Tell me what was "clever" in that garbage.

    Doggy paddling in the shallow end of a philosophy 101 pool isn't clever unless your an avid Oprah and WWE watcher...

    :D
     
  24. nowhere

    nowhere New Member

    Jul 2, 2002
    Titanic was probably the worst movie for the amount of money spent on it, but as far as the worst movie ever. That award goes to
    Head of the Family,
    Worst movie ever.
     
  25. Bman

    Bman Member

    Apr 24, 2001
    Beverly, MA
    Club:
    New England Revolution
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Americathon w/ John Ritter, early 80's. I don't know how there could be any contest.
     

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