...wrapped in clingfilm! It doesn't get much weirder than this: http://www.michaelkelly.fsnet.co.uk/karl.htm
"It always starts the same way. I am in the garden airing my terrapin Jetta when he walks past my gate, that mysterious man in black. 'Hello Roy,' I say. 'What are you doing in Dusseldorf?' 'Attending to certain matters,' he replies. 'Ah,' I say."