Says Sublimefootball Anyone know anything? A funny read from Spurscommunity MONDAY JANUARY 3rd 2005 EVENING STANDARD SPORT EX-GUNNER TALBOT UNVEILED AS NEW SPURS MANAGER Brian Talbot has been revealed as the new Spurs manager only 48 hours after Ossie Ardilles and his assistant Kevin Keegan were relieved of their duties after the 14-9 loss to bitter London rival Chelsea on New Years Day. The appointment is likely to come as a shock to most Spurs fans. Chairman Daniel Levy said: "In hindsight appointing Ardilles and Keegan was probably definately maybe the wrong choice. We should have known we'd made a balls-up when in the first game they lined up with a 1-0-9 formation. However, we thank them for their hard work and wish them well for the future". Despite being bottom of the Premiership with only 14 points from 17 games, and conceeding 127 goals so far, Talbot is confident he can turn the team around. He told reporters at the press conference: "I'm looking forward to the challenge. I've got some players lined up to bring in, one of them being my son Daniel. He's had some good games for my former club Rushden and I'm confident he can make the step up to the Premiership. The same can be said of Onandi Lowe. I think he will be the final piece in the jigsaw as Spurs could do with another forward." He also added: "Spurs have got great strength going forward. I think we might have to work on the defence but we'll see how it goes in the next game. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be making any radical changes to the starting lineup. I'll leave it as it is for now and make changes when I get to know the players better". Talbot will be working under Director of Football David Pleat. Spurs next game is away at Fratton Park again Division One leaders Portsmouth in the 3rd round of the FA Cup this coming Saturday OTHER FOOTBALL: Shocker! Gazza found sober and coherent...Wimbledon FC Franchise coming to a city near you soon...Keown not sure if he should return or retire... MEANWHILE, AT THE DOG & DUCK PUB IN WELLINGBOROUGH, NORTHAMPTONSHIRE... David Pleat couldn't attend the press conference, he was out on a scouting mission. He arrived at Victoria Park, Wellingborough for the Northants Senior Youth League match between Wellingborough Whitworths and Newport Pagnell. Since he had a bit of time to kill he thought he'd head into the nearest ale house and sample the beverages on offer. Unfortunately he had stopped off in Luton on his way up on the train and having spent several hours in the Bedfordshire Yeoman with some players he was trying to sign he had arrived in Wellingborough half-pissed already. There were also two other problems; 1) He had maxed out his credit card on Enoch Showunmi's signing on fee, and worse 2) His railcard was about to expire. "Sod it" Pleaty thought. "A few more pints will help me think clearer. Then I'll work out how to get home and sign some more players." As kick-off time approached, Pleat left the pub with a full bladder and an empty wallet. Witnesses said "We saw him cross the road and head towards the ground." SATURDAY JANUARY 8th 2005, 2:57pm "The sun is shining BUT the wind is shooting through the stadium. Hello all you football fans, I'm Chris James. And joining us for match analysis today is Terry Butcher; Terry, welcome." "Hello Chris, it's great to be here." "Well Terry, I'm really looking forward to this one." "So am I Chris. The great thing about the FA Cup is that Jack always has the chance of beating Goliath, and in this instance it's Harry who has a chance of beating Brian" "Now lets take a look at the team lineups, first for Portsmouth:" GK: Shaka Hislop DR: Matthew Taylor DL: Christian Ziege DC: Rigobert Song DC: Arjan De Zeuwe MR: Darren Anderton DMC: Tim Sherwood AMC: Jamie Redknapp ML: Gus Poyet FC: Teddy Sheringham (Captain) FC: Titti Camara "And now for Tottenham:" GK: Paul Robinson DC: Anthony Gardner RW: Simon Davies LW: Daniel Talbot (Captain) FC: Robbie Keane FC: Frederic Kanoute FC: Jermaine Defoe FC: Helder Postiga FC: Sergei Rebrov FC: Mauricio Taricco FC: Onandi Lowe "Well Terry can you tell us a bit about the formation the teams are using?" "Certainly Chris, I'll start with Portsmouth; They have a flat-back four, with the full-backs having the freedom to attack. The midfield is shaped like a diamond. Now for Tottenham; They are playing with their most defensive lineup so far this season. They've got one centre-half, two wide midfielders and only seven forwards. Brian Talbot has obviously moved to stop his team leaking goals. This season the Spurs defence has more leaks than the Titanic." "It's kick-off time. I'm your match commentator, Chris James." NEXT TIME: Will Spurs make it to the next round of the cup? Whats happened to David Pleat? Does Brian Talbot's suit make him look fat? These questions and more answered in next week's (or whenever I can be bothered to write it) episode of "In the Future to Come...""
Funny post. I don't think there is much to the Hofland rumor but that is just me. Don't you think it will be hard for PSV to lose Robben, Kezman, and mabye Van Bommel and then lose Hofland on top of that? Would also be tough to get him in front of Manure or Chelski as both seem to have some need in the back, Chelski less so but when did that ever stop them? Now if they keep two of the first three maybe we have a shot but doesn't seem all that good of a shot to me. Chris Walker
HAHAH! Absolutely hilarious LMAO.... I got a good laugh outta this one, except for the part about Onandi Lowe, shitttttte, they could probably use him...I though they guys was putting it in the net very consistently for Rushden and Diamonds.... Anybody think Onandi could go Premiership?? He could get the work permit no prob cause of his caps for Jamacia...
Onandi Lowe couldn't really make it in MLS, so I doubt he could succeed in the Premiership. I must admit, the Taricco as one of 7 forwards gave me a chuckle, especially considering it was our most defensive lineup yet. -Digital