(un)Official DC United vs. The Columbus Crew Banter Thread

Discussion in 'D.C. United' started by McOwen, May 4, 2004.

  1. URwormfood

    URwormfood Member

    Mar 24, 2004
    6 feet under: LOT 8
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    You Know You’re from Ohio When...

    You've never met any celebrities.

    Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

    "Vacation" means driving through Hocking Hills or going to King's Island.

    You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.

    You measure distance in minutes.

    Down south to you means Kentucky.

    You know several people who have hit a deer.

    Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

    Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

    You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.

    You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

    You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."

    You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

    Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

    You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

    You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.

    You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
    Example:"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go with."

    All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.

    You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

    You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

    You carry jumper cables in your car.

    You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.

    You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.

    You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

    Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

    You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

    You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.

    The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.

    You think that deer season is a national holiday.

    You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

    You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".

    You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.

    You know what a real buckeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.

    You know if another Ohioian is from southern, middle or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouth.

    You can spell words like Cuyahoga and Tuscarawas.

    You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.

    You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Ohio friends.

    Isn't it sad? You just said "yup" and "uh-huh" or aint that the truth" to most of these!!!

    ~~~Worm~~~
     
  2. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    To rehash an old, old joke:

    Do you know why Columbus Crew Stadium has natural grass?

    So the Crewzers can graze before the match!

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
     
  3. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Ohio: Gateway to Illinois
     
  4. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Ohio: The only state where people run to the window and say "Look, is that an airplane?"
     
  5. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Ohio? I thought it was spelled I-O-W-A
     
  6. Darth Norteño

    Darth Norteño With Buddha In My Fists

    The Arsenal
    Wales
    Dec 9, 2003
    laceyforest.arl.va
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Wales
    And you will know our name is United...when we lay our vengeance upon thee.
     
  7. Lanky134

    Lanky134 New Member

    Oct 25, 1999
    134, 3, 6
    How come Chico hasn't laid down some "Go Blue" smack yet?
     
  8. K

    K BigSoccer Supporter

    Mar 16, 1999
    DC, Fake America
    Club:
    --other--
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    [​IMG]

    As a daughter of an alum I'll pick up the slack!

    K
     
  9. Its About The Beer

    Its About The Beer New Member

    Apr 21, 2004
    Mt Airy, MD
     
  10. Looper121

    Looper121 Member

    United States
    Jun 19, 2003
    Sec 104
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Your perogative $hitface. I see many if you are incapable of respectable banter.

    P.S. Adu likes Boys.
     
  11. Lanky134

    Lanky134 New Member

    Oct 25, 1999
    134, 3, 6
    OK, you've got the requisite grammar mistakes for an Ohioan.

    Dude, he is a boy. He hasn't discovered girls yet.
     
  12. URwormfood

    URwormfood Member

    Mar 24, 2004
    6 feet under: LOT 8
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    It's a smack-board Crewser-looser... :D

    The only respect you shall gather here....is a few feet up your A$$..

    ~~~worm~~~

    P.S. Cheers
     
  13. Looper121

    Looper121 Member

    United States
    Jun 19, 2003
    Sec 104
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    I am not an Ohian Dickface. and it is very obvious that he WILL like boys...
     
  14. jackrock

    jackrock Member

    Aug 19, 2003
    Talcott. WV
    Club:
    DC United
    so is respectable banter when you talk ********e, but when you get some back its quit picking on me?

    I didn't know Palestinians followed the crew
     
  15. Lanky134

    Lanky134 New Member

    Oct 25, 1999
    134, 3, 6
    So what kind of dickface are you?
     
  16. Red&Black

    Red&Black Member+

    Aug 30, 2001
    Lot 8
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    Burkina Faso
    http://www.mlsnet.com/MLS/news/mls_news.jsp?ymd=20040505&content_id=1544&vkey=news_mls&fext=.jsp

    Jon Busch -- Steven Herdsman, Robin Fraser, Chad Marshall -- Brian Maisonneuve (Chris Wingert 57), Ross Paule (Duncan Oughton 76), Simon Elliott, Frankie Hejduk -- Kyle Martino -- Edson Buddle, Jeff Cunningham

    this is how they went last week in what mlsnet is calling a 3-4-1-2

    interesting heydude played in the middle. mais is in yellow peril.


    my guess is we start nick, mike, brian n, ryan, earnie, bobby, brian c, dema, ben and jaime and the little guy up front.
     
  17. Looper121

    Looper121 Member

    United States
    Jun 19, 2003
    Sec 104
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Adu will bring a new meaning of the word header to the MLS.
     
  18. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    OK, I give. I am unable to compete with wit like this.
     
  19. URwormfood

    URwormfood Member

    Mar 24, 2004
    6 feet under: LOT 8
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
  20. URwormfood

    URwormfood Member

    Mar 24, 2004
    6 feet under: LOT 8
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Someone said Short-bus right......


    ~~~Worm~~~
     
  21. Lanky134

    Lanky134 New Member

    Oct 25, 1999
    134, 3, 6
    Well, I guess now that McBride's gone you won't know what a header is anyway.
     
  22. dcuinvermont

    dcuinvermont Member

    Sep 8, 2000
    Burlington VT
     
  23. Looper121

    Looper121 Member

    United States
    Jun 19, 2003
    Sec 104
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States

    True, I really am not sure if anyone on this team is capable of getting a header on net.
     
  24. Cantankerous

    Cantankerous New Member

    Apr 15, 2003
    United country
    Club:
    DC United
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    So between DCU and the Crew we needn't defend the goal on corners at all.
     
  25. Looper121

    Looper121 Member

    United States
    Jun 19, 2003
    Sec 104
    Club:
    Philadelphia Union
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Quiet on here for a while. I know why you people are so excited about Adu...because the rest of your sporting teams are a joke...what happens when the Expos come to town, is DC United gonna be out on their ear?
     

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