Twins?

Discussion in 'Parenting & Family' started by needs, Jul 19, 2007.

  1. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    My wife just had the first sonogram, and there were two of 'em in there.

    So, I should just forget about sleeping in 2008, right?
     
  2. Ismitje

    Ismitje Super Moderator

    Dec 30, 2000
    The Palouse
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Paging Lizzie Bee, Lizzie Bee to the Parenting & Family forum please . . .
     
  3. Pints

    Pints Member

    Apr 21, 2004
    Charm City
    Wow, if I had to run after 2 toddlers I am pretty certain I would go insane.:D
     
  4. Sachin

    Sachin New Member

    Jan 14, 2000
    La Norte
    Club:
    DC United
    Well, go get one more witty post somewhere on BigSoccer. We'd hate for this to be your last BS post ever. ;)
     
  5. scudley

    scudley New Member

    Mar 13, 2001
    Syracuse, NY
    Well, it will be easier than if there were 3 or more... right??

    Congrats!

    I am a twin btw... and I'll put in a vote for not having rhyming or same first letter names... helps them have some individuality in my humble opinion. I am glad my parents didn't try to do anything "cute" with our names.
     
  6. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Mwaha ha ha ha ha ha ha... Misery loves company. So I'm very happy to hear your news!

    Actually... that is fantastic! My two twins are climbing all around me making messes and goin' crazy at the moment and it's loads of fun. I remember that first ultrasound moment when we found out we were having twins. A lot of people go into meltdown mode, but for us it just felt perfect from the first moment. Three seconds earlier I was happy with one, but three seconds later I would have been traumatized if there were only one left.. if that makes sense.

    When my twins (boys) were babies, they were angels. Never demanding, always mellow, always happy. It was awesome. And people (assuming it was horrid) would say, "Don't worry, sweetie, it'll get better when they get a little older." I'd smile half-heartedly, knowing that the terrible twos were the time that would really stink.

    I was right. They're two now and they're C-R-A-Z-Y.

    If you want to solicit any advice, I can give you lots of tips. If you want lots of unsolicited advice, I can probably provide that, too! :D

    Good luck and don't worry--twins are freakin' awesome!

    p.s. You nailed that "sleep" thing... But I'd forget 2009 and 2010, too, just to keep your expectations realistic...
     
  7. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    Definitely a shock, but I'm getting used to it and excited about it. Although the Mwahahahah worries me.

    We've definitely decided to avoid the same first letter thing. I was suggesting we just keep their names as "A" and "B," but my wife didn't seem thrilled by that idea.

    It definitely took me more than 3 seconds to get over the sonogram. I don't think I remember a single thing the genetic counselor told us (our meeting immediately after the sonogram).

    Lizzie, are there any twin specific gear that we should get? Any stroller recommendations? What do you do for a crib once they outgrow the divider? Did you breastfeed? (I'm trying to avoid a hysterical tone in asking these questions, and failing miserably, I imagine).

    Did I mention that we'll be in an 800 sq foot apartment in Brooklyn? Yeah, that will make things easier.
     
  8. Father Ted

    Father Ted BigSoccer Supporter

    Manchester United, Galway United, New York Red Bulls
    Nov 2, 2001
    Connecticut
    Club:
    Manchester United FC
    Nat'l Team:
    Ireland Republic
    Congratulations Needs.

    My twins(girls) are now 8. That first year or so was tough mainly because they were particulary bad sleepers. When one would wake up crying, so would the other. And it's not like with a single child where the husband/wife team can say "it's your turn honey". We both had to deal with it. But you know, you manage and you actually get used to living with little sleep. They were about 18 months before they both slept through the night regularly.

    As Lizzie says, having twins is wonderful. And yes there is a special twin bond between them. I think after that first year, it is actually easier to have more than 1 kid because they play together and entertain each other rather than the parent having to be that play mate 100% of the time.

    Geez, having a baby seems so long ago for me. All I remember from that time is the lack of sleep and the huge amount of diapers we went through. Strollers, we had a side-by-side Graco one, plus a jogger stroller. At one point we even had a triple stroller when my son was born (they were just 2). We had seperate cribs for both.
     
  9. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    We were slow to choose names in the hospital so their name cards said "Boya" and "Boyb" thanks to a "witty" nurse at the hospital! We also didn't want cutesy twins names like "Tom" and "Tim"... shudder...

    So how far along is your wife? Near the beginning still (I found at around 8-12 weeks I believe at an ultrasound)?

    800 sq. ft. apartment? Okay, I'm starting to go into anxiety attack mode on your behalf. I have a 4000 sq.ft. house in suburbia so.. gulp.. 800 sq.ft. sounds kind of "cozy" to me. That will complicate matters for sure and you may want to keep your eyes open for something more family-friendly as soon as the twins are a little older.

    Since we had plenty of space, we had two separate cribs for the twins from day one. This might not be ideal (or even safe?) but you could always try putting them into two little "port-a-crib" things for the first while. You know those portable play yard/crib things that can fold up? They're significantly smaller than a full size crib and you can fold them up if you want to take with you to travel and whatnot. Also try IKEA for ideas because they specialize in how to make small spaces very livable. They would probably have some innovative products for you to organize space.

    As for other gear, you'll definitely want a good double stroller so your wife is not home bound. Whatever you do, MAKE SURE YOUR WIFE GETS OUT OF THE HOUSE!! Do whatever it takes to give her freedom to travel around and move or else she'll go insane. Trust me. Anybody who knows my BS posts the year after the twins were born can attest that this is true! :D

    Our stroller is a Graco and it just worked out for budget/car (make sure it fits in the trunk) considerations. You can get much smaller, lighter, cheaper ones but I wanted a pretty big one that I could stow the diaper bag, bottles, etc. in. There are pricey European ones you can consider if that's your style.

    I'd recommend (if you have room in your apt) a swing to keep one child mellow while the other one is being needy. Maybe a little bouncy thing. Just ways to entertain the kids and keep them happy while Mom is busy. That's vital and a good use of money.

    Yes, it is possible to breastfeed twins. At the same time. I feel like superwoman every time I remember that. :eek: The nurses just forcefully "encouraged" me to try it in the hospital and, by the time I went home, I could get them both feeding without help. Hint: you need a lot of pillows. But make this is your wife's decision as much as possible and try to give her support if she doesn't want to do this. It's completely natural to want to pass on nursing twins. And I only survived six months (for which I still think I was a freakin' super hero.) Formula is extremely pricey but... that's how it is with kids and you can find some good generic brands. At least you can here in Suburbia at places like Walmart, Target, local grocery stores, etc. and they are often made by the same companies that supply the brand names. (And all subject to government regulation.)

    One other piece of advice. When you have twins, the debate about sleeping patterns (force them onto a schedule or let them set the pace?) is decided. Sorry if you're one of those natural-style parents but that won't work with twins. You HAVE to get them on the same schedule or you'll go insane. For me, they ALWAYS ate together. If one is hungry, the other one eats too because I am NOT about to get up in ten minutes when I've gotten back to sleep...Ya foller? If possible, resist the temptation to get them on separate schedules. Just change both diapers... Feed both... Put them both down to sleep.. or play.. etc. That's the route to survival!

    And, like I said, make sure you both get out of the house as much as you can, with a babysitter at home or bringing the kiddles along with you. While parenting will change your lives and require a lot of sacrifices, you have to remember who you are and what makes you happy or else your whole family will suffer. Get a couple good books about twins (check reviews on Amazon.com or BN.com) to know what is coming and that will relieve some fears hopefully.

    Are these your first kids? I had to go through all the craziness with a hyperactive, demanding 3-yr-old who did NOT understand that Mommy couldn't get him a cup of milk while the twins were eating. Okay.. this is officially way too long.. What else you got to throw at me? :D
     
  10. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
  11. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    Thanks for all this. About to board a plane, but will post quick.

    These are our first kids. My wife's about 12 weeks.

    We'll get on the waiting list for a larger place at the university where I teach. We actually went outside of univ housing for our 800 sq ft apartment. Had we gone with faculty housing, we would be looking at a 550 sf "one bedroom." And then I'd really be anxious. The good news may be that we immediately qualify for a 3 bedroom. If we get off the wait list.

    Crib-wise, I've seen these dividers online you can put in cribs to have them sleep 2, at least until they get bigger. Anyone have any experience with them?

    Thanks for all the breastfeeding advice. And we immediately started talking about the need to get them on a schedule, I can't imagine how else you'd do it. And I'm sure Fresh Direct delivers formula if need be. (Ah, grocery delivery).

    Check on getting out. Luckily we have a bunch of friends in the neighborhood, two of whom have kids, who I'm totally willing to exploit any time they offer and even if they don't. And two sets of first-time grandparents who may already be making hotel reservations. I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get.
     
  12. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Yeah, that brings up another thought--don't turn down any help. Accept graciously and give people specific things they can do to help. I had a lot of people offer me vague inclinations to help but I rarely followed up on those. (Stupid, stupid, stupid...)
     
  13. voyager

    voyager Member

    Jun 10, 2004
    Frederick, MD
    Club:
    DC United
    Soooooooo late to the party......sorry.

    First off, congrats to you and your wife. Hope things are going well.

    My twins are 23 months old. Boy and girl. We stayed away from similar sounding names, opting for Trevor and Emilie. These 2 couldn't be more different, either, The boy has red hair, the girl is blonde. The boy has stereotypical redhead meltdowns and is seemingly very stressed out already. The girl on the other hand is as mellow as can be. If she gets hurt all she needs is a kiss on the boo-boo and off she goes.

    My wife tried to breastfeed both but neither were very good eaters, until they went on a bottle full time.

    As far as taking care of 2 at a time, it can be mentally taxing but the fun moments make up for the stressful ones. I won't tell you what the "best" way to do things is but I can tell you what has worked for us and what hasn't. Like sleeping in seperate rooms has worked. When one wakes up the other doesn't.

    Let us know how everything is going.
     
  14. Ian Lozada

    Ian Lozada New Member

    May 29, 2001
    The Pick Four Pool
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Straight talk about what you're going through...

    My wife is due with our 2nd and 3rd kids (boy/girl twins) in April.

    What we've learned from this pregnancy compared to last one...

    • Twice the kids means twice the hormones, twice the energy expenditure. Expect your wife to be tired ALL THE TIME and the first trimester is especially rough with morning sickness.
    • Lots of liquid. Dehydration can lead to premature contractions and stuff.
    • If something just feels wrong, call the doctor. As ours said a couple days ago, "I pay those people at the answering service a lot of money, use it." It's better to be safe than sorry, because with twins, there's an increased chance of pre-term labor, premature birth, and an extended stay in the NICU. (Kristina had to be hospitalized overnight a couple of weeks ago to stop contractions (22 weeks), and the only reason they caught it was that she didn't feel right, and decided to go to the emergency room).
    • Don't let her over exert herself. Forget all the stuff you see in the Babycenter.com and WhatToExpect.com e-mails about pre-natal exercising and stuff. That's for parents of singletons. The thing we came away with most from talking to moms of twins we knew was hearing repeatedly, "I wish I hadn't worked as long during the pregnancy and I wish I hadn't tried to do all the stuff around the house before they arrived" from the moms who had either endured NICU stays for their kids or hospital bedrest for themselves.
    • You're going to hear a lot of advice from parents of singletons about what you're going through. Most of it is bunk.
    • Her new mantra needs to be, "I'm not getting fat, I'm growing two babies."
    • Make sure you take care of her mentally and physically.
    • Don't expect to fly anywhere after 24 weeks.
    • Don't expect to go the full 40 weeks. In multiple births, the placenta ages faster, and doctors start wanting to get them out for their own sake between 37-38 weeks. However, twins develop faster in the womb to make up for it.
    • No matter how daunting all of the above is, it's worth it.
     
  15. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Re: Straight talk about what you're going through...

    Could you please travel back in time three and a half years and give this list to my husband? Thank you.
     
  16. Lizzie Bee

    Lizzie Bee Member+

    Jul 27, 2004
    Utah
    Club:
    Real Salt Lake
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Great advice. I wish we had separate rooms for our twins, but that would require us moving one of them upstairs and keeping one on the main floor or, heaven forbid, moving our five-yr-old across the hall from us. :eek:

    I wanted to completely agree that "it can be mentally taxing but the fun moments make up for the stressful ones." Just wait until they start talking--to you, to each other, and to the world in general. It is just as fun as can be.
     
  17. needs

    needs Member

    Jan 16, 2003
    Brooklyn
    Since I started this thread, an update. The boys, Jack (5 lbs) and Ray (4.5 lbs), were born on December 19 at 11:55 PM and (you know where this is going) December 20 at 12:00 AM. So they have separate birthdays, which is very cool, especially since they're identical. They were induced at 34 weeks b/c my wife developed preeclampsia, and had to spend 3 weeks in the NICU, which was scary for the first few days when they were on vents, but also kind of a blessing as we could get our feet under us and learn to care for them before they came home.

    It's now their 3 month birthday today and they're doing great. It's amazing thinking back on how much they've changed, from these little things hooked up to ventilators to the very healthy lunged creatures they are now. They've more than doubled their birthweight, even though it seems that they spit up almost as much as we give them, and are smiling and cooing. I was able to take a semester of parental leave from the university where I teach, which has probably saved our sanity. Taking care of two of them alone is crazy, and they don't like the swing. Thank god for playmats.

    I probably won't be on here much, sure haven't been since they arrived, but just wanted to thank folks for their responses which have been very helpful.
     
  18. Ian Lozada

    Ian Lozada New Member

    May 29, 2001
    The Pick Four Pool
    Club:
    Arsenal FC
    Nat'l Team:
    United States
    Congratulations! We're sitting at 36 weeks right now on our fraternals, any day now!
     

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