By everlasting life, you mean all the preservatives in them transfer to you when you eat them, and your body will never decompose when you "die". Except if you happen to get the batch of Twinkies that was laced with asbesthos... oooops!
Jameson's is good for an Irish whiskey, but Woodford Reserve is the siht in Bourbon. Have you toured their distillery in Woodford Co.? I highly recommend it.
I'll never forget at boot camp while we were getting "beat", one of the company commanders told the story of a shit-filled twinkie, which looks good on the outside, but as soon as you bite in.............