Leave it to the hoopy brethren to get it right, with a slightly removed perspective but still a good idea of what shit we have been through as their red-headed stepchild, even though we came first...
The Columbus Crew: Taking Sucking to New Lows. The Columbus Crew: Inspiring More Suicides Than Al Qaeda.
I'm going to take a George Carlin bit and fit it to work here. I'm going to break into Crew Stadium, and hang myself by my Crew scarf in one of the offices. Here's my suicide note that I'm planning on leaving: "Dear Columbus Crew: How are you? I hope you are fine. I, however, am not fine. As you can no doubt tell from my hanging here by the ceiling fixture. YOU'RE THE ONES WHO DROVE ME TO THIS. I hope you're happy now that I'm goddamn dead. Sincerely, The Corpse In This Room. P.S.: F*** you people."
Columbus Crew: We Hear Philly In Nice This Time Of Year Columbus Crew: Check Your Expectations At The Door
Nothing screams "classy" better than a Latin motto. A useful compendium of Latin phrases: Aegrescit medendo - The disease worsens with the treatment. The remedy is worse than the disease Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri? - (At a barbeque) Ever noticed how wherever you stand, the smoke goes right into your face? Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam - I have a catapult. Give me all your money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head Credula vitam spes fovet et melius cras fore semper dicit - Credulous hope supports our life, and always says that tomorrow will be better. Feles mala! cur cista non uteris? stramentum novum in ea posui - Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it Liberate te ex inferis - Save yourself from hell Mater tua criceta fuit, et pater tuo redoluit bacarum sambucus - Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries Me oportet propter praeceptum te nocere - I'm going to have to hurt you on principle Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi - Excuse me. I've got to see a man about a dog Naturam expellas furca, tamen usque recurret - You can drive nature out with a pitchfork but she always comes back Nemo saltat sobrius nisi forte insanit - Nobody dances sober unless he's insane Nullum est iam dictum quod non dictum sit prius - Nothing is said that hasn't been said before. Quid rides? Mutato nomine de te fabula narratur - What are you laughing at? Just change the name and the joke's on you. If it was up to me I'd say screw it and use the bad kitty one. But the one that fits this Forum absolutely dead on: Nullum est iam dictum quod non dictum sit prius - Nothing is said that hasn't been said before.
Columbus Crew: The Charitable Arm of Major League Soccer Columbus Crew: The gift that keeps on giving...like an STD Columbus Crew: Like Santa Claus, except without the piece of ass helpers at the mall
Got Prozac? Some teams have luck, we have suck Too massive for a DP However out of all the suggestions so far i am still partial to the No DP no problem, and proving making the playoffs isn't easy.