The Union Leader's 20 Questions

I can't beleive Wes answered them. They are conservative type questions. I guess he gets press for answering first. If I were running, I'd wait until the paper demands that more candidates answer them so I would get positive press when I did.

The questions are little land mines, in and of themselves.

 

This piece bumped Clark up in my view. Granted, I was half looking for ANY other Dem alternative to Dean (too much rhetoric, not enough substance), but I respect Clark for laying it out on the line, and I agree with many of his views. The bit about still seeing pre-emption as a viable strategy makes me a tad nervous, but the way he framed it (last resort, only with solid information, etc) leads me to believe it would be next to impossible for a situation to pop up that Clark would use the policy. Between this, his showing in the debates I've seen and the fact that I think he will match up well against Bush in every area of contention, I think General Clark just earned himself another vote.

 

I guess the term is Leadership.

Lead, follow or get out of the way.

I guess that whole "Army thing" might help after all. Not exactly the Army general image, but the skills and confidence such a lifestyle has given to the individual. The man is a stud. I do wonder how tall he is?

In fact, this is actually odd. We are at war and a General, a Democratic General, even has a chance with the Deans of the world.

"They are conservative type questions" means what? I would guess that this will strengthen the notion that Clark is really a Republican.

 

The tone of the questions were a little harsh, as if they already guessed the liberal answers they would receive. Clark is far from a Republican though. No Republican would be pro-choice, pro-gay rights, pro-fiscal responsibility, pro-old people and anti-Patriot Act.

PS: You damn well better not give me the flu or I'll be royally pissed.

 

My responses

1. How do you think Britain, Spain, Italy, Australia, Poland and America’s other allies in the Iraq war and the War on Terror would react if they knew that in your campaign rhetoric you have completely ignored their contributions to these efforts and repeatedly insisted on characterizing President Bush’s foreign policy as entirely “unilateral,” as if no other nation joined America in defeating the Taliban and Saddam Hussein?

The Taliban AND Saddam? What the ass do they have to do with each other, ass-face? France and Germany helped us in Afghanistan, in fact, they're still there. Why aren't you concerned with how Bush has been assing all over them, huh? Ass.

2. Four years from now Baby Boomers will begin to retire. Not long after that retirees in America will greatly outnumber those who pay Social Security taxes. Specifically, how will you keep Social Security from running out of money?

I have a people-based plan. Soylent Green is people.

This is a misunderstanding of the Social Security system in any case. The money's already spent. The question about what to do about increased Social Security costs is valid, but there's no point in pretending that the federal government is just going to write out IOUs. If the Social Security payouts outnumbered the revenue of the federal government, then we'd have the kind of problem that "running out of money" implies.

Ass-face.

3. Would you ever use military force without United Nations approval, and if so, under what circumstances?

About five words into my inauguration speech, when I ask Congress to declare war on Saudi Arabia.

4. Should the United States always wait until attacked before using military force against an enemy?

No.

5. As President, what, if any, business regulations would you attempt to repeal?

We need a serious look at ethanol and farm subsidies, which is probably the reason why my campaign isn't doing so well in Iowa right now.

Well, one of the reasons.

6. Do recent medical advances allowing unborn children to survive outside the womb sooner than ever before require any re-examination of abortion policies?

Nope.

7. Will you pledge never to appoint a pro-life federal judge? What other litmus tests would you apply to the judiciary?

I have a right of privacy litmus test. Oh, and no racists. Or perjurers. Or anyone who can defend the Bush v. Gore decision.

8. Should sales over the Internet remain tax-free?

Yeah, but not because the Internet is special - sales taxes in general suck.

9. If the rich should pay a larger portion of their income in taxes because they can afford to, shouldn’t they also receive fewer Medicare, Social Security and other benefits from the federal government?

This question wrote stupid.

The government has a means test for all sorts of existing services. To pick an example entirely at random, welfare. I think a Social Security means test will be more trouble than it's worth, though.

As far as the bitching about the rich paying a higher proportion of their taxes - fine. If being rich is such a holy hassle, give your money away and stop pestering me about it. Damn whiners.

10. Does every qualified American have the right to attend college, with government subsidies if necessary?

We don't even have the right to food, health care and shelter in this country.

Does the questioner have some particular moan about the federal student loan programs of which the government should be aware? Ass-face.

11. Are pharmaceutical companies good corporate citizens?

Are we specifically referring to Eli Lilly, the corporation that sponsored their immunity from prosecution written into the Homeland Security Bill? Because that wasn't so good, now, was it?

12. In what areas of life would you prevent the federal government from interfering?

For one thing, marriage doesn't need defending. And I don't actually feel that much safer that Tommy Chong is in jail, thanks for asking.

13. Regardless of whether it is a federal issue, has the time come for gay marriage?

I firmly believe gay marriage should be strictly limited to gay people.

14. Will there ever be a day when affirmative action is no longer needed?

Yes.

15. Name a war that America has fought for oil.

The ones with "Gulf" in the names.

16. Is it appropriate for the billionaire George Soros, one of the richest men in America, to spend his money trying to discredit and oust a President?

Dr. Evil's father did not invent the question mark so that someone could ask something this incredibly stupid.

17. To what degree did Bill Clinton’s behavior in office damage the presidency?

HIS presidency, quite a bit. THE presidency, not at all.

18. Why have Americans elected a Republican President and Congress?

They ran better campaigns.

19. In every other nation in which health care is paid for by the national government, that care is rationed and citizens must wait months, even years, for treatment. How would you avoid this outcome in the United States?

As opposed to all the HMOs who send limousines to their patients' homes and throw in a free blow-job to and from the hospital? People already wait months and years for treatment, and those are the ones who even have coverage.

20. Suppose you win the nomination. If, in the general election, President Bush wins the popular vote by a few hundred thousand votes, but you win the Electoral College vote, will you concede the election to Bush, as so many Democrats said President Bush should have done for Al Gore in 2000?

The electoral college has to be repealed by amendment to the Constitution, so a winning candidate can't simply choose the winner.

I suppose a winning candidate could ask his electors to vote for the other guy, but then it would be up to the individual Democratic electors.

But that won't be my decision. That would be up to my Vice-President-elect, Vermin Supreme. For you see, in the case mentioned, I will have died laughing.

 

Re: My responses

These questions look exactly like they were written by an especially slow-witted independent centrist.

Dan, I can't believe you answered this question without mentioning either "5" or "4."

 

Re: Re: My responses

I misread the question as being a Republican Senate and Congress, i.e. House.

Oh, well, it isn't as if my finger will be on the BUTTON or anything.

 

Re: My responses

I'm going to have to deduct points, Dan, simply because you didn't mention Richard Mellon Scaife. Or the hypocrisy of the right.

 

The original set of 20 questions was a bit more direct:

1. Unless your name is George W. Bush, why do you hate America?

2. Unless your name is George W. Bush, why did you call New Hampshire "a pathetic cesspool with nothing good ever to come out of it"?

3. Unless your name is George W. Bush, why do like Vermont more than us?

4. Why are you so dedicated to bringing Communism into America, unlike George W. Bush?

5. Did you really say in 1987 that you wanted to kill newborn babies with your bare hands?

6. Why did your father support Nazis in the 1930s? (EDITOR'S NOTE: Prescott Bush was a fine man -- don't ask Dubya this. In fact, don't ask Dubya any of the questions. Thanks.)

7. Aren't you just the second coming of Hitler?

8. You're just fronting for Hitlery, I mean Hillary, aren't you?

9. Why did you marry a lesbian?

10. What was your first gay group sex experience like? Did it hurt?

11. Why do you belong to the party of Al Sharpton?

12. How can you possibly represent America when you don't believe that Jesus Christ is the one and true savior?

13. On what date do you plan to hand full control of our Defense Department to the United Nations, under the command of Libya's Colonel Quadafi?

14. How many copies of Protocols of the Elders of Zion are on your desk right now?

15. Why should people who are going to lose their homes and livelihoods under your Administration vote for you?

16. Can you name one thing that went wrong between January 1993 and January 2001 that wasn't Clinton's fault?

17. Which is the preferred news source for your campaign: the New York Times or Worker's World Daily?

18. How many children will be sold into sexual slavery during your term as President?

19. Why are there welfare mothers driving around Harlem with late-model Mercedes SUVs while we voters in New Hampshire can't afford to replace the radiators on our 1983 pickups?

20. Why are you fighting so hard to take away jobs from good, hard-working Americans like George W. Bush, Paul Wolfowitz, and Colin Powell?